Overweight and interviewing
I’m a big dude. I’m obese to be flat honest. I’ve been big for the past 15 years. I haven’t had a problem getting a job in the past, but I’m also getting older. I know perceptions and first impressions are important so it worries me a bit. In the next few weeks I will be interviewing for a few positions in and outside the company. I know this is going to be fodder to be fucked with her on blind, but I’m asking anyway: does anyone have any thoughts on what I should do to prepare for these interviews and reduce the negative perceptions? Honestly my technical and management skills don’t worry me at all. I’m just worried that people are going to look at me and say, “No hire” based on my weight. That may actually not be a bad thing. Maybe it will motivate me to lose weight and keep it off. That said, the positions I’m being recruited for are all amazing opportunities and I would hate to lose out. For context: 1) I was recruited for these positions as I’m a fairly known quantity in my circle of industry experts. 2) All companies involved have seen me in person before in various industry conferences and such. I’m not 100% worried because people submitted me. I’m more worried about others on the loop that won’t know me. I don’t need to work for a living anymore. I’m financially secure, but I really love this industry and want to move it forward and put my own stamp on it. These opportunities would be awesome to let me keep working toward a vision of the future in various forms. Anyone have thoughts they can share to help me decide. Opportunities are at Facebook, Microsoft, and Google. Thanks in advance. I’ll brace for the horrific comments now and hope some of them are good advice.
Get on a training plan for yourself, not the perception of others. Dedicate eating and exercise like that is your new job for a few months. Good luck.
Well, the interviews are in the next few weeks. Not sure that helps me immediately. But yes, I know.
Getting some exercise in before hand will help. No technically you may not lose any weight but you may carry yourself better and have confidence from the endorphins.
Dude it sounds like you’re a badass, you’ve obviously had financial success, esteem/industry acknowledgment, and are being actively recruited. I think the only negative part your weight can play in this is it clearly affects your self confidence, but I feel pretty confident in saying that that’s the only part of the interview process that will be influenced. Yes, there are inherent human biases, but quality work is quality work and I’d like to think the individuals interviewing you have their shit together enough to realize that. You’ll be fine. Walk in knowing you’re immensely qualified for the opportunity and that it’s the company’s job to impress you.
While I’d love to agree generally, I also know research says otherwise. One thought was to leave my job and come back in a year after I spend it busting my butt off (literally). But I don’t want to miss on these specific opportunities. They all seem to fit my skills and interests very well. Not only that, I have people counting on me as I donate the majority of my salary to a few causes. If I quit for a year, these people lose that support until I get back.
All you can do is carry on with your interviews. You said you’d be going onsite in a few weeks I think? Nothing you can change about your weight between now and then. Your idea to focus on your health for a year is interesting, and you have the financial ability to do so. I think you’re in a great position. Go, interview, see what happens. If you’re offered a role you want, great! If not, c’est la vie. Keep working your current role, or maybe even take that opportunity to focus on your health for a bit. Not so you can lose weight and be more attractive to people - but so that you can be healthier and on this planet longer because you sound like badass. Good luck!
+1 for the badass comment above. A few tactical items it keep in mind which might give you a little physical appearance confidence boost 1) make sure you're on a face moisturizing routine. It's good for your skin and will make you look slightly younger and healthier. Personally I use origins brand but just make sure it's nothing harsh if you have sensitive skin. 2) make sure your haircut and any facial hair are fresh 3) double check that your clothes fit nicely and maybe hit up a personal shopper at a nice store for an interview outfit. There are so many details like pant leg width, material weight, color choice etc that can make a huge difference. Tbh I watched queer eye for the straight guy last week which is why this is all fresh in my mind. Rooting for you. Go crush em
Awesome comment.
Thanks. I’m already planning to do the personal shopper thing this weekend. Getting pants tailored to fit properly. I’ve already got an appointment with my hair dude this weekend, so that’s fine. I am on a skin regiment already because I have dry skin otherwise over winter. Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it.
As you are successful in most areas of your life what do you think is preventing you from being successful in reducing weight? Do you think looking at some issues in counselling would be beneficial?
While I don’t discount that I have issues in life, they don’t significantly come into play with my weight. While I 100% appreciate your post and the concern it was intended to show, I want to point out that this very thing is what I’m afraid of in the interview. There are assumptions frequently made about those with weight issues. I don’t want to walk through mine here, but they are quite biologically-driven. You were very thoughtful in your approach to a suggestion/question, but to still shows a bias I am concerned about .
Your first impression *might* get you a point or two deducted for certain interviewers, but for most people, they will be more concerned about your interview performance and ability to do the job rather than how much you weigh. I would say you shouldn’t have too much to worry about.
Unfortunately a ton of social science says otherwise.
What KissMyRing said. I’m normally fine with my weight. I own it. But what I know is that when it comes to perception, too much has already been studied. For instance. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4853419/
I don't think it matters. At the end of the day interview is about technical skill not your health. I've worked with a big guy and he was absolutely brilliant, one of the best collaboration I've had. I don't think you should worry. Your interview will most likely have a positive impression on the interviewers. People love to find good candidates.
Google, you’ll probably be fine. But I’d be worried a bit about Facebook. Appearing hip and cool is more important to them I think. Same goes for the N number of Silicon Valley startups.
+1 - Google is the only company I know that has an active process to prevent discrimination during interviews.
Lol where are you getting this from? I never base my interview on looks. Haven't read any feedback which has anything remotely close to it. But I guess that won't fit your narrative 🤔
I was you at one point, and I went to Nordstrom to get myself a power outfit. Don’t know how well it worked for others but made me feel like a million bucks! Good luck!!
Weight doesn't really matter in this profession (though you should work on it to improve your health and general energy day to day). Personal hygiene and grooming do matter though. I personally don't care, but on a subconscious level, they signal self awareness and care. If you come in well dressed and groomed, you will make a good impression, no matter your weight. Good luck.
Do what Terry Myerson did...
Fuck up Windows? Not sure how that helps me get these jobs.
Windows was already fucked but he slimmed down pretty good. Got to commend him for hitting his weight loss goals. Stomach stapling surgery? I don't think being an old big boy will hurt at MS (aren't you there already) or Google. But FB ... their campus feels like a kids playground.