My wife wants to go to VBAC after 3 years of first pregnancy because deep down she feels having c-section as some sort of a step down normal delivery. We had to go to c-section after being in labor for 36 hours. She keeps giving excuse that she wants a faster recovery etc. (She recovered faster after c-section too). But she wants to do it because all of her friends have normal delivery. Her friends bring it up as bragging rights during conversations (Toxic I know). While the risk of VBAC is less that 1%, is it happens then the results could be catastrophic to the baby and her. I love her but if she does something stupid to satisfy her ego and we face the consequences. I will walk away. How do I convey this to her? Without making her angry?
So this is not a good place to start: “she does something stupid to satisfy her ego and we face the consequences. I will walk away.” You don't seem to be listening to her reasons at all. It is common for women to feel “their body failed them” with a c-section. It might have been bad/unsupportive staff or something particular to the positioning of that pregnancy. Fwiw, we had 2 successful VBACs with no issues. Find an OB practice that is supportive.
I had a vbac with no issues and am super grateful I could do it. Pregnancy chiro was key for me bc they got my body aligned. I had a quick delivery and recovery. You should support your wife.
Bragging rights? Like seriously?
My wife did a VBAC this year after our first kid 4 years ago. It's true that the recovery period is extremely fast compared to C-section. We were never told that this was dangerous only that this would require a lot of work. She had to maintain her weight, switch to a protein rich diet, walk and exercise everyday. DM me if you want more details. Ps I'm glad it was not a C-section because she could help me soon after, she was much better mentally and physically.