Hi Blinders, I am about to start my next job soon and I wanted to be respected in my job from day one. I am a strong guy only behind a keyboard and on an anonymous forum like this. In real life I am a coward. People take advantage of me (At least I feel so). In both of my previous jobs I allowed people to take credit of my ideas and work and be a "nice guy". My managers have taken this weakness of mine to overwork (Assign someone else's work to me) me whenever possible and I couldn't just man up and say "no". Once I tried to man up and say no to my manager for not doing someone else's work and he gave me a feedback "you are not being collaborative" in my performance review and I even allowed that :( Other people just say "no" outright while I can't. How can I command respect and grow in my career. In my first job at TCS (please don't laugh) there was a guy who was very brave and always spoke up to the managers (Today he is at Apple). I want to be like him. How can I change my attitude and stop being a loser? In my previous jobs I have worked on Saturdays and Sundays as well on multiple occasions for doing someone else's work as "there is no I in TEAM" :( Current TC: 16 lpa + worthless stock (India) YOE: 3
Find the one with the biggest TC and LC the crap out of them. Then you will be respected and noone will bother you.
haha
Learn and improve your verbal and conversation skills. It's not that you are a cowards it's just that you dont know how to convey your thoughts or too afraid about the back lash. Learn how you can push back (e.g. when asked to do other's work - ask what is the risk your is willing yo take because you are doing 2 people's job and you will inevitably make some errors.). It wont happen overnight but can be improved upon within an year. Some recommendations would be to read and learn some business management books. Those help you look at the bigger picture and will enable you to ask big picture questions.
Why do you think you let people do that to you ? Serious question. It seems like a default mechanism.
No one else does that (At least for the places that I have worked). When I am in trouble people get busy. Once my microservice was down and no one even bothered to help me on a weekend. I had to debug on my own and when somebody else is fucked up. I need to help :(
Saying no for the sake of it will not get you far. Start pushing back with more data driven responses, for example, "I am happy to do this work for you but it will result in xyz being delayed since I allocated this much time to it" or I can't work on both simultaneously because it will affect the quality of work on both projects. At some point in time you have to decide if your own self worth and health are important or just having some kind of job.
This is the correct answer. Only thing I would change is about working on both at the same time. If you work on both at the same time the total amount of time taken to complete both projects will be longer than working on them individually because context switching has a large time cost to it. Keep track of when you plan to have each of your projects completed (write it down somewhere). Adjust them as needed and let your manager know of any adjustments. If your manager asks you to work on a new project, put it on the bottom of the stack and give them the date it will be completed (after all the other projects above it in the stack). If they don’t like that date show them your stack and ask them how they would like you to reprioritize. Another benefit of keeping track like this is that sometimes work needed for X will also be needed for Y. So completing X first will reduce the amount of time needed for Y and will allow you to develop that part of X to be reused easily by Y.
+1 to both of these. Also, Microsoft has a lot of counseling resources you should use to help you work through tough situations. Definitely take advantage of it.
Have you thought of taking a more principled approach? Like working on your personality for eg : if you are a funny/witty person among friends, try bringing that to work. Humor wins over many people. To fight off the inferiority complex, i’d suggest reading books such as 48 laws of power, radical candor, having hard conversations etc. see if you can internalize these principles. Also, you are just 3 yoe — its ok to work hard now and learn the art of engineering and software design than play these stupid games. If people want you to do more work (and said work isnt mundane), i’d go for it. People know that they are burning favors with you and eventually would be mindful of your time when you really need it — like a vacation or personal emergency. Overall try to be positive. Learn to let go off these things. That way, when you will see these people in the rear view mirror, they will realize their folly for having messed with u. Good luck with your new job!
Good advice. Humor is actually pretty powerful. But often you do get the mundane work and end up being overspecialized in something useless, unfortunately
TCS people are on Blind as well?
I am joining Microsoft. TCS was my first company. I currently work for a startup. Microsoft will be my 3rd company.
Wow. Nice growth. Which startup was it, if I may ask? Also, Microsoft's which division you're joining? I am just a recent college grad, I can't harm you. Just asking.
OP, if you're joining Microsoft IGD or Microsoft Consulting Services, you can't say "NO" there, but if you keep doing work, eventually you get paid more for extra hours. That's how things work there. You will have a choice there to say "No", if your work exceeds 8 hours. If you are joining IDC(India Development Center), you gotta learn to say "NO" there.
You need a mentor - you asking this question on this is why you need a mentor. You can easily google this and read some articles or pointers but you came here - which means you need personalized advice. You might need someone who will take time to listen to you, understand your unique situation and advice you. In the process of finding a mentor you will need to talk to a lot of people, be vulnerable (I.e. ask for help and tell them why) and then see if they are the right one for you (assuming you get time from them). Talk to people from different departments or careers. Your issue is not unique in the sense that your mentor needn’t be from your line of work.
Excellent answer. Op pls note.
Be a man, do the right thing!
and when managers start doing favoritism and start assigning you someone else's work in name of collaboration how to handle that?
Then start asking for salary collaboration too. Equal pay for equal work.