Anyone else depressed from rejection?
I want to try to get into distributed systems space or web development. Anything SaaS or PaaS I don’t care. Anything to get out of my hellhole or a company I have 4.5 yoe. My TC is complete shit it is 86k I have sent 500 apps. I have gotten 15 phone screens which translated to 5 onsites. I failed all of them. Everyone says my communication is good, personality good, technical details are ok since I do not have that professional experience in distributed systems. Usually do good on algo I don’t deserve to be a sw engineer. Today was the first day I was driving in my car and didn’t give a single shit if I died going to work. This is how I know I’m truly depressed. I live in SF South Bay Area and I want to work in San Francisco. I see boot camp grads getting jobs so I am obviously fucking up and suck as a SW engineer. I’m not applying to FAANG. This is happening to me for midsize and small startups as well. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been doing this for half a year now and am still stuck on square one. And like I said earlier, I feel like I couldn’t give two shits if I got into a car accident and died on the way to work
Wouldn't the logic be that startups are more selective than larger non FAANG companies? Cause each member contribute a lot proportion wise, so maybe getting perfect fit is more of an issue.
You need help but not something from blind. This app can be really toxic so probably not the best place to seek advices for this matter. Know that TC and good paying jobs like swe should not be the end of the world for anyone. Take a rest and dont compare yourself to others as everyone has their own unique path to be successful/happy. Look for what you can be grateful to have in your life and bounce back!
That's not the blind way. We should be helping OP figure out actionable ways to get higher TC. I've noticed OP attrition rate from resume to phone screen is very low. Maybe people can help in that dept.
Fair point but i feel like op needs emotional stability first and then revisit the interview performance once that is settled
Are you taking any steps to improve passing interviews? Have you identified where you are coming up short during your interviews? Maybe that'll give you something to work and focus on.
Only thing I can think from my POV is technical with the design portion. I try my best. But most companies never give me feedback. If I’m rejected I’m always ghosted
Do an interview with one of those services that provides feedback on your performance.
Yeah I know how you feel. Fresh grads getting $250k+, and I'm not even halfway there. I would diagnose your interview pipeline. Your resume to phone attrition is too high. Have you been networking to get referrals to hopefully skip the resume screener? It also looks like they are looking for specific skills in distributed or web. Can you work on these specific skills at your day job? If you can align your day job to the skills you need, it can work wonders. Because then you will go from fuck my job to fuck this is bad, but at least in N months from now I will have enough experience for other companies to accept me. Pitch it to your current employer that you are taking initiative or one for the team, in exploring or taking new projects that help build these skills. Try to make it a situation where they would want you to take on such projects. Then after N months, you can sell this experience to other employers: initiative, can-do attitude, self-starter, etc.
I have tried contacting my network. No dice. Usually get ignored. Unfortunately I cannot. I work in a sort of embedded system space in a dying industry. It’s a old and dying company that is stuck in its ways, with no future potential
Don’t judge yourself based on startups because they are all looking for suckers who will break their back and be content with magic future money. They are not elite and don’t let them con you into believing that. If you’re not getting any negative feedback then you might just be lacking confidence, being overpriced or not packaging your experience in an attractive way. Part of this game is selling even for Devs. Determine your strength and arrange your job search to play on that. This game is also more about interview skills and fake confidence rather than actual skills. Nobody knows how to measure real skills in an interview so they use a proxy.
Maybe I’m just complete shit at selling myself? Any pointers?
Imagine yourself as the interviewer and then imagine the kind of person you’d want to hire. For example, the kind of person who will tackle tough problems and you never have to worry about their ability to deliver. Someone who you won’t have to look over their shoulder to avoid problems. Someone who will click with their coworkers and not have communication problems and interpersonal issues. In general the kind of person that will make you look good and be high output low overhead. Now imagine how that person would present themselves in an interview and compare that mental image to how you’ve been doing it.
I just got rejected from AirBnB this week. After several offers, it still really got to me. Hearing that someone doesn't want you always sucks. Sorry to hear about your troubles
Look into interview kickstart. It’ll change your life.
How much do they cost? I can't find a price
Around 5k but it led to a massive massive (yes 2 massives, not a typo) increase in TC for me
You don’t have that experience on your resume, so the robots couldn’t pick your resume out. That’s maybe why you are not getting calls. And even when you get a phone screen, the interviewer probably is probably already prejudiced against you. Maybe you can try to apply to jobs in big companies that’s on your resume, with an eye on moving internally? At my site we are desperate for embedded people, but there are also a lot of opportunities in web development. But I’m not in SF so can’t give you a referral.
Are you in Bay Area at least?
No, east coast.
Let's meet for coffee, my treat. DM me
I won't say what you should do or shouldn't do but some general observations. I really think a therapist will be helpful for you. It seems like your attaching your self worth to job when a job should just be a means to an end.