My job hunt is leading me to make a decision between Boston and the Bay Area (Silicon Valley, to be more precise). Obviously there are a lot of moving parts going into making this relocation decision that I’ve already weighed.
However, I’m hoping to settle down in the coming years and it’s hard to assess the dating scene from afar. Most articles about these areas are superlatively pessimistic. It’s hard to get a decent comparison.
As a nearly 30 yo single woman, which city would fare best for being able to settle down or to have stable relationships?
- If you can deal with the weather, Boston is a way more enjoyable city to live in.
- I think you should think of
1. what type of pool you want . West coast, entrepreneur, software jock
2. East coast Bostonian / NYC type.
Implicit in dating is that you are ok to stay where you met for long time before you kick off a 2 body career problem.
So my algo is
1. Figure where you want to live or work (where you have job options and feel good abt staying)
2. Go for the local dating pool.
Expect to stay where you guys met (it's only fair to the other person, imagine marrying someone in Austin and then starting i need
to move so should you discussion. )
I empathise with you. It's not an easy decision.
Knowing nothing else I would have recommended staying in California, bigger more vibrant pool.
But the cost of living and the rat race is an issue (unless you are making enough to offset SV cost of living ).
Tie breaker is your gut feel abt the city.
- Qualcomm NotInQI had to make a similar decision. I think it all comes down to what you prefer. Bring a white single women in Tech means you are coveted in silicon valley, but you won't have bad time finding someone in Boston either. If you see yourself settling down soon like having kids and starting a family, pick Boston. If you think you have 5-6 years before you even think about serious relationship - pick Silicon valley and see how it goes. You can make $$$$ in silicon valley and move to Boston/somewhere you like, you would have saved good Chunk for down payment. If you just want to work in HQ - not remote offices pick Silicon Valley. If you want to have flexibility to move around companies, pick Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley - Wild Ride, Boston - Quiet and stable.
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- New / Eng｢ＧＲＥ／ＮＡＤＥ｣moreYou will have a lot of fun in the Bay. Hordes of desperate tech men will come up to you. It’s just super expensive. Boston has more of an intellectual culture. Downside is that you will freeze, especially if you’re not from the northeast. So it really depends. HTH.
- Square / EngkTtI24I’m a white woman in SF around the same age as you. I can only speak about dating in SF, and not in the surrounding areas (south bay, Oakland etc.).
I’ve had an awesome experience here. The guys are often super interesting and into spending time outdoors. There are a ton of activities for single people. Everyone has been super friendly too.
People are also pretty different between each neighborhood, so if you know what type of guy you’re into, then just hang out in that neighborhood! E.g. hipsters are in the mission, and bros are in the marina.
You said you were looking to settle down? It is crazy expensive here, but if you have a good job then you’ll be fine. Good luck!
- Amazon babymakes5I would go with Boston. It is cold but nowhere near as pricey as the Bay Area. Transit is good, so is quality of life. Lots to do.
The gender imbalance in SF and the surrounding area would result in meeting *more* men but as some people have said “the odds are good but the goods are odd.”
Boston tends to trend on the younger side; if you’re not willing to date a younger guy, that’s also a factor.
- If you don't have a guy your currently seeing, I would optimize for the career path and the place you like to live more. I mean, even if the odds are great, it's not necessary that your going to necessarily get lucky. And if the odds are slim it doesn't mean you won't get lucky. Making such a decision in anticipation of a future hypothetical person who isn't even existing now is crazy IMO.
So long as your not in the Midwest your fine!
- Thus why I acknowledged the other angles I’m considering in the relocation that would outweigh this one factor.
Currently all areas I’m being considered for seem to be pretty even on pros and cons in those factors so I’m just collecting data on one additional factor. But thanks for your feedback
- Maybe take some time off and experience for yourself how each city feels? The only real experience is your own. Every one out here is projecting their own biases and reading all this will confuse you. Take an Airbnb in Boston (where you might live) and another in silicon valley (a location you might live) for 2 weeks each. Journal a lot. Only way to know.
- Wells Fargo qUyB01What industries are the companies you are considering an offer from? For pure tech companies SF, for healthcare Boston might be better.
- New / HRwfTQ73Move to Boston unless you are going to Marry someone rich. SF is fucking expensive.