Relationships

Bay Area versus Boston

New / DataTBjF30
Feb 10

My job hunt is leading me to make a decision between Boston and the Bay Area (Silicon Valley, to be more precise). Obviously there are a lot of moving parts going into making this relocation decision that I’ve already weighed.
However, I’m hoping to settle down in the coming years and it’s hard to assess the dating scene from afar. Most articles about these areas are superlatively pessimistic. It’s hard to get a decent comparison.

As a nearly 30 yo single woman, which city would fare best for being able to settle down or to have stable relationships?

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  • Roku / Eng
    Mr.Scrooge

    RokuEng

    PRE
    Yahoo, Oath
    Mr.Scroogemore
    Sorry but TC please!
    Feb 107
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      I don’t have a formalized offer yet and I’m sure my current midwestern salary would get laughed off this forum
      Feb 10
    • Salesforce MorningLad
      This TC question on every post is so annoying. Can we stop?
      Feb 10
    • Roku / Eng
      Mr.Scrooge

      RokuEng

      PRE
      Yahoo, Oath
      Mr.Scroogemore
      It is not about that. At least other people from mid west will get a reference.
      Feb 10
    • Roku / Eng
      Mr.Scrooge

      RokuEng

      PRE
      Yahoo, Oath
      Mr.Scroogemore
      Go to sleep morning lad. It is afternoon now. See you tomorrow.
      Feb 10
    • Salesforce MorningLad
      Stop with the TC obsession man. Fucks like you have ruined San Francisco.
      Feb 10
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      Is this a preview of the opening questions of any Bay Area dates though? Haha
      Feb 10
    • Salesforce MorningLad
      Not if you go out with me. I don't care about your TC.
      Feb 10
  • Microsoft / Biz DevMemeGenX
    If you can deal with the weather, Boston is a way more enjoyable city to live in.
    Feb 102
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      What exactly are the more enjoyable parts?
      Feb 10
    • Microsoft / Biz DevMemeGenX
      Compact and walkable, historic city, people and culture outside of Tech, easy access to NYC. All 4 seasons. More affordable so you can actually enjoy your paycheck.
      Feb 10
  • Amazon
    ˙ ͜ʟ˙

    Amazon

    PRE
    Amazon, Microsoft
    ˙ ͜ʟ˙more
    Bay Area because the odds are good but the goods are odd. Boston is cold as ballz.
    Feb 100
  • Intel AMtA33
    Ethnicity please (esp for dating) advise.
    Feb 106
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      White
      Feb 10
    • New New.
      For a white woman, Boston would be better. There are so many white men there. Bay is all Indian and Chinese men, unless you are into them obviously.
      Feb 10
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      I don’t only date people within my race, but thanks
      Feb 10
    • Microsoft Desitechie
      Good for you, but as an Indian I know that only a small subset of Indians woukd date a white woman seriously. The culture is regressive, around 40 years behind, like interracial dating was in the US back in the day.
      Feb 10
    • Intel AMtA33
      I think you should think of
      1. what type of pool you want . West coast, entrepreneur, software jock
      2. East coast Bostonian / NYC type.

      Implicit in dating is that you are ok to stay where you met for long time before you kick off a 2 body career problem.

      So my algo is
      1. Figure where you want to live or work (where you have job options and feel good abt staying)
      2. Go for the local dating pool.

      Expect to stay where you guys met (it's only fair to the other person, imagine marrying someone in Austin and then starting i need
      to move so should you discussion. )

      I empathise with you. It's not an easy decision.

      Knowing nothing else I would have recommended staying in California, bigger more vibrant pool.

      But the cost of living and the rat race is an issue (unless you are making enough to offset SV cost of living ).

      Tie breaker is your gut feel abt the city.
      Feb 10
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      Solid advice. Thanks!
      Feb 10
  • Qualcomm NotInQ
    I had to make a similar decision. I think it all comes down to what you prefer. Bring a white single women in Tech means you are coveted in silicon valley, but you won't have bad time finding someone in Boston either. If you see yourself settling down soon like having kids and starting a family, pick Boston. If you think you have 5-6 years before you even think about serious relationship - pick Silicon valley and see how it goes. You can make $$$$ in silicon valley and move to Boston/somewhere you like, you would have saved good Chunk for down payment. If you just want to work in HQ - not remote offices pick Silicon Valley. If you want to have flexibility to move around companies, pick Silicon Valley. Silicon Valley - Wild Ride, Boston - Quiet and stable.
    Feb 101
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      This is a really detailed perspective on both places! Thanks!
      Feb 10
  • Flagged by the community.

    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      Funny how that doesn’t pan out for the Midwest. Guess I should invest in some better winter gear and move to Antarctica 👌🏼
      Feb 10
    • Yeah the midwest is sure experiencing a shortage of men...
      Feb 10
  • New / Eng
    「GRE/NADE」

    NewEng

    PRE
    Apple
    BIO
    You know I’d do anything for you.
    「GRE/NADE」more
    You will have a lot of fun in the Bay. Hordes of desperate tech men will come up to you. It’s just super expensive. Boston has more of an intellectual culture. Downside is that you will freeze, especially if you’re not from the northeast. So it really depends. HTH.
    Feb 101
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      I’m originally from a northern state so I’d probably tolerate the cold better than most. So Intellectual but chilly sounds better than desperate and prohibitively expensive haha.
      Feb 10
  • Square / EngkTtI24
    I’m a white woman in SF around the same age as you. I can only speak about dating in SF, and not in the surrounding areas (south bay, Oakland etc.).

    I’ve had an awesome experience here. The guys are often super interesting and into spending time outdoors. There are a ton of activities for single people. Everyone has been super friendly too.

    People are also pretty different between each neighborhood, so if you know what type of guy you’re into, then just hang out in that neighborhood! E.g. hipsters are in the mission, and bros are in the marina.

    You said you were looking to settle down? It is crazy expensive here, but if you have a good job then you’ll be fine. Good luck!
    Feb 110
  • Amazon babymakes5
    I would go with Boston. It is cold but nowhere near as pricey as the Bay Area. Transit is good, so is quality of life. Lots to do.

    The gender imbalance in SF and the surrounding area would result in meeting *more* men but as some people have said “the odds are good but the goods are odd.”

    Boston tends to trend on the younger side; if you’re not willing to date a younger guy, that’s also a factor.
    Feb 100
  • Salesforce tensorchic
    If you don't have a guy your currently seeing, I would optimize for the career path and the place you like to live more. I mean, even if the odds are great, it's not necessary that your going to necessarily get lucky. And if the odds are slim it doesn't mean you won't get lucky. Making such a decision in anticipation of a future hypothetical person who isn't even existing now is crazy IMO.

    So long as your not in the Midwest your fine!
    Feb 102
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      Thus why I acknowledged the other angles I’m considering in the relocation that would outweigh this one factor.
      Currently all areas I’m being considered for seem to be pretty even on pros and cons in those factors so I’m just collecting data on one additional factor. But thanks for your feedback
      Feb 10
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      Maybe take some time off and experience for yourself how each city feels? The only real experience is your own. Every one out here is projecting their own biases and reading all this will confuse you. Take an Airbnb in Boston (where you might live) and another in silicon valley (a location you might live) for 2 weeks each. Journal a lot. Only way to know.
      Feb 10
  • Wells Fargo qUyB01
    What industries are the companies you are considering an offer from? For pure tech companies SF, for healthcare Boston might be better.
    Feb 101
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      Tech, and mostly amazon positions
      Feb 10
  • New / HRwfTQ73
    Move to Boston unless you are going to Marry someone rich. SF is fucking expensive.
    Feb 101
    • New / DataTBjF30
      OP
      Yeah looking at real estate in SF makes me wonder how people afford to not have double income
      Feb 10

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