Bitchy partner

Give him/her a lollipop 🍭 to suck on. Helps keep them quiet for a while

Before even discussing the matter with my partner, I'd first stop calling them bitchy.

Well, are they bitchy for a good reason? We all have a cognitive bias where we think more highly of our actions than is really deserved. One of the great things about having a partner is you have someone you can trust and respect to honestly tell you when you've been out of line, with the benefit of developing a more authentic view of yourself and the world. Or you can't trust & respect your partner to actually listen when they tell you this, in which case why the fuck are you with them? Or maybe you are incapable of admitting you're in the wrong, in which case why the fuck would they want to be with you?

go day dreaming a bit. but not too overboard. it happens to everyone.

Hit the vape pen. May not change their mood but yours will and that positive energy tends to be contagious

If they are being totally unreasonable, firstly ensure that you do not use that as an excuse to mirror the behavior and stay respectful. Point out the fact that none of your points are being taken constructively and you need more information about any grievance that may be at the root of the upset. If the tone does not improve, distance yourself until they have calmed down. They may not want to broach the subject but do not let them avoid a discussion about the behavior even if it was a way to communicate a legitimate grievance. Be constructive. If they cannot appreciate this or work with you to resolve the matter consider your options.

Get a divorce