Career of a less-than-mediocre and unmotivated software engineer
I'm a less than mediocre engineer in Amazon with TC ~150000 with 8 years experience.
I never feel talented or strongly interested in software engineering, or engineering in general. I just memorized the questions, cracked the interviews and did the minimum to complete the tasks. I didn't develop interests diving deeper into technical knowledge. I'm not interested in taking more ownership or responsibility. When I have spare time, I usually find more fun or urgent things to do than enhancing my technical skills. I can't understand why my colleagues are so passionate about technical problems.
I once doubted about my IQ and if I have the science/math inclination at all. I spent dollars on testing my IQ and mental health, and some medicine enhancing my cognition ability. None seems to really help. I tried to switch companies and teams but the excitement only lasted for about half year then it is replaced by boredom.
I stayed in software engineer position because I'm stuck with green card process. However, I don't know what else to do once I get a green card. Am I really the material for software engineer? Or is corporate life/technology sector even making sense at all?