Career of a less-than-mediocre and unmotivated software engineer
I'm a less than mediocre engineer in Amazon with TC ~150000 with 8 years experience. I never feel talented or strongly interested in software engineering, or engineering in general. I just memorized the questions, cracked the interviews and did the minimum to complete the tasks. I didn't develop interests diving deeper into technical knowledge. I'm not interested in taking more ownership or responsibility. When I have spare time, I usually find more fun or urgent things to do than enhancing my technical skills. I can't understand why my colleagues are so passionate about technical problems. I once doubted about my IQ and if I have the science/math inclination at all. I spent dollars on testing my IQ and mental health, and some medicine enhancing my cognition ability. None seems to really help. I tried to switch companies and teams but the excitement only lasted for about half year then it is replaced by boredom. I stayed in software engineer position because I'm stuck with green card process. However, I don't know what else to do once I get a green card. Am I really the material for software engineer? Or is corporate life/technology sector even making sense at all?
Unlock yourself. Nothing is worth living a life of boredom. Are you from an old world culture that values careers and titles more than individuality. Forget that and settle for less prestigious but has more work that interest you. For example you can become a manager if you find mentorship rewarding. Quit and join a small relaxed company as a manager of a small team. You just provide guidance and direction. No coding on a daily basis.
You are in good numbers in most companies. Don't feel exclusive here.
So you’re not interested in software engineering... big deal. I used to be super passionate about programming, but then I found a new interest and I don’t care for software engineering at all anymore. I see it as super boring and lame. Forcing yourself to like something, to be passionate about something, is completely counterproductive. If getting passionate about programming is your goal, then you have to first figure out what it is that you’re passionate about already (maybe you like to stack cups? Or play competitive beer pong?) and transfer your passion to programming through the process of self-discovery. It is fun! If you choose not to cultivate passion for software development, that is OK too 😉. Maybe it is time for you to switch the nature of your work, like becoming a PM.
So you became a PM ?
Nope. Quit my job to focus on self-directed research and study in the field of cognition. For now.
Big head ??
What was your iq score?
given what you described, you are definitely not material for software engineer. if you are close to your GC, just beat with it a little longer; if you still have a decade to wait, fuck it and find something you love to do.
"Medicine enhancing my cognition"...unless that means coffee, please stop.
What do you find yourself doing or reading every day? Track it for 30 days. Then DM.