Depressed/Stressed about debt/income
I know it's not good to compare myself to other people, but seeing posts here on Blind makes it hard not to. Turning 31 this year, and I feel like I'm drowning in debt (~$175K). Most of it student loans, but a significant amount of credit card debt as well. Given my circumstances (had a kid at 19, pushed myself through school while working full-time minimum wage jobs to pay the bills, five years of grad school, having second kid, and being underpaid/unemployed for a year after graduating), I know I'm actually doing pretty well. I make $100K/year, only a year and a half after graduating (in research), am able to support my family while my spouse is unemployed and waiting for grad school to start. But man, it's depressing sometimes to see others my age or younger talking about having more money than they know what to do with. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever be debt free or able to buy a house. I'm working to start consulting or teaching on the side in order to pay everything off faster, but I'm losing hope it'll actually happen. At the rate things are going, it'll be 20+ years before I'm able to pay off my student loans, at least 3 years to pay off the credit cards, and who knows how long to pay off my spouse's student loans after grad school. Which means I might as well forget ever buying a house. I really do know it's all a matter of perspective, and not as gloomy as I might think. That things can change (new, better paying job in a few years, etc), and get better. But this was not at all where I'd thought I'd be at this stage of my life. And seeing other people where I want to be already... it's hard not to give up. Like I said earlier, I know it's stupid to compare myself to others. That there are people who have it worse, that things won't always be this bad, or even that it's as bad as I think sometimes. But sometimes knowing that isn't enough to stop the thoughts of dismay. At least there are 'anonymous' forums I can vent on, right?
Breaking 6 figures is excellent, whether youāre living in Idaho or the Bay Area. There will always be someone that makes more or less than you and be in a better or worse situation than you. Tackle down that debt in chunks. Yes, folks post about 200-500K TC on these boards, but most people in the US are not living this way. Itās depressing to see what others are making, but itās also normal to to see the working class pulling in 20-40K/year. We have it good.
My god relatively speaking you have a lot of your shit together.
Boo hoo life is hard. go offer people something of value that makes their lives easier and yours will be too.
Karma exists.
Your point being?
No sympathy from me. People who make dumb decisions deserve whatever the consequences of their actions are. I can't even fathom why you would go 5 years to grad school and have a second kid when you're struggling to pay your debt. On the bright side, I hope what you're going through right now is a good lesson for you to make smarter decisions in the future. Another thing, if your wife is planning to get a useless major and you have to go into more debt for it, I highly recommend you persuade her not to do it.
It wonāt be useless to the bank that funds the loan :)
Those art degrees with negative ROI need to go away. OP DO NOT DO IT! If your wife wants those kinds of knowledge, let her take cheap online courses or get her a library card.
No hopes of finding it? Now thatās dark.
Dude Iām fat as hell and I got a bombshell, just gotta stop giving a fuck. Works like a charm.
The bay area job market has never been hotter in recent times. Do leetcode and system design for 2-3 months and start giving interviews. In fact you should start giving interviews at places where you are not too keen on joining right away. Your problems may not go away but once you get a 200k+ TC, your problems will at least be halved based on your current TC :-)
you are so young. why feel depressed?
31 is young in this game?
Student loan debt is a sign of the times unfortunately, that and ridiculous housing costs. Spouse should focus on generating income and not adding debt.
What are your majors that convinced you both to go to grad school with gaps taking in tons of loans? Also, 2 kids before either of you are starting your career??? And you have credit card debt which has insane interest rates! I would expect a couple who both made it to grad school would understand the massive financial burdens that your decisions would entail.
Iām sorry that you are going through such hard time. Kudos to you trying your best and support your family. Iām mid-30s and not like those Blind posters who easily make 6 figures. Iāve been studying hard and Leetcoding to move to a better job/company. Itās not easy and takes time butI believe that I will be there. Donāt give up. Sending you all positive energy and good thoughts.