FAANG is love. FAANG is life

Travelport / Eng buttnpushr
May 31 14 Comments

I was only nineteen years old. I loved FAANG so much, I had all the Leetcode and CTCI. I'd pray to FAANG every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "FAANG is love", I would say, "FAANG is life". My dad hears me and calls me a wageslave. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of high TC. I called him a hobo. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Google. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my market". He grabs me with his powerful Googly hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my interview-cheeks for Google. He whiteboards my leetcode. It hurts so much, but I do it for Google. I can feel my yoe tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Google. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my TC with his RSUs. My dad walks in. Google looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all Googly now". Google leaves through my window. FAANG is love. FAANG is life.

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TOP 14 Comments
  • Amazon qwertyup
    May 31 0
  • New
    Uoseidon

    New

    PRE
    Yahoo
    Uoseidonmore
    you really need to go out more and have a social life
    May 31 1
    • New Fungi
      IT'S ALL GOOGLY NOW
      May 31
  • New Fungi
    It's all Googly now
    May 31 0
  • Cavium oage11
    See a psychiatrist A.S.A.P
    May 31 0
  • Cavium oage11
    Probably OP will ask for high grave to be built in Google HQ 😆😀
    May 31 0
  • Apple Meerajdhd
    Stay off the weed.
    May 31 0
  • Stripe exJX72
    👏 💯
    May 31 0
  • Microsoft rrcn66
    drugs are bad, mmmkky
    Oct 4 0
  • Amazon qwertyup
    I'm not that Googly, are any employees this high?

    Should I memorize this script for my googly portion of the interview?
    May 31 0
  • Salesforce / Eng yymG87
    This is googly gold
    May 31 0
  • BlackRock / Eng lowfi
    The fuck
    May 31 0
  • New / Eng cousin
    Wtf is this
    Jun 1 0
  • Credit Karma Vote Trump
    Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
    May 31 0