How to make yourself feel special?
How do you make yourself feel special when you're just another average software engineer out of hundreds of thousands working at big tech companies? It's even worse if you're working on some internal tools for Big5. You are almost as insignificant as it gets. How to differentiate yourself and rise above others? Atleast, some people get to work on Self-Driving Cars and Machine Learning/AI to make themselves feel superior but what about the others? I don't wanna retire like this. I don't want to be one of many. I want to be one of few.
In our specialized corporate society, just about everyone is replaceable. There are always some top producers that act arrogant because unconsciously they have come to this realization. Sure, if they left the team it would be a blow, but rarely would the entire project come to a screeching halt. Of course, dependent on niche and team size. This need to feel special, different, is a main reason why others teardown others in meetings, emails, etc. because it would be damaging to their self-esteem that their own skills/experience/knowledge might not be all that special. Anyways, to answer your question: - Develop a specialized niche, whether in a niche field or a combination of skills. Still ego-driven. - Work on yourself and reflect on your ego's need for self-validation through your job/skills. Really too long and broad to cover in a single post, so the above is a summary
Thanks for the pointers.
You are conflating scarcity of ability, employable skills and self worth into one cringy narcissistic question. Separate each one and evaluate the first two objectively. Place smart bets on where you develop expertise and technical ability. Career fulfilment will only partially contribute to personal happiness or self worth so don't think "being the best" at work will solve what seems like a bit of an existential void.
I guess I need to get out more, travel around, get myself a girlfriend and find meaning.
billions of people in the world have one or more girlfriends technically, it won't make you special
I was gonna write a nice post but I’m tired and fuck that noise. Look. You wanna feel special? Be nice to your mom, be nice to your gf. Help others and don’t expect things in return. This is being special and imo finding meaning. If you want to be “one of few” you’re in the wrong profession. Go be a surgeon and save someone’s life. Go be a corporate lawyer and close million dollar deals for your client. If you are special you will be chosen. There’s only one way to find out. Now get back to work.
Don’t try to feel special, be special. Do something remarkable. You’re obviously super lost and your job isn’t helping. You’re seeking approval from others when my money is on you don’t approve of yourself.
Accepting you are average is very freeing. I like to separate myself from my ego. No one is special. Not even steve jobs. Also being humble actually makes you better at everything because then you can focus on thinfs you like. Ego is just noise
Thanks for the tips. I think maybe being part of charities and stuff will give me purpose?
I guess. Honestly really depends. I just stopped trying to compete with everyone and just focus on my self. That really helped me