Misc.

I think I have a problem.

LinkedIn / Other
Dang_IT

LinkedInOther

BIO
Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
Dang_ITmore
6d

If I start drinking, I don’t stop. I don’t drink every day of the week. Perhaps, once in 3 weeks. But when I do, I just don’t stop. I always drive back when I am drunk. I know that is terrible and irresponsible, but I still do it. That’s why I think I have a problem. After I get drunk, I try and chat up random women. With no sight on any outcomes, but I go looking for women to talk to randomly. I am married. Happily, at that. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I feel miserable the next day. What should I do? Should I see a psychiatrist?

comments

Add a comment
  • Uber ifk
    you are danger to society. seek help. also you are not happily married.
    6d9
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      See, this is what I was trying to get to. Is there a deep rooted psychological disorder which is the reason for my behavior!
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      Yes. But it's not a full on disorder. Go now. Be a man!
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Doing it!
      6d
    • Uber ifk
      yes there is defntly something broken but blinders cant root cause and fix it. see a professional.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      If you really do go see a therapist, I'm really happy for you. Believe me I know how hard it is. But once you start you'll be on your awesome path.

      And don't buy this once per week shit. At the start go as much as you can, even 5 days in a row. It's impossible to get going in a single hour
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Noted- I don’t mind seeing a therapist at all! I know some people have problems accepting the fact that they need to see a therapist. I take it that so much of our demons are deep rooted and invisible, that only therapy can help. I am surely going to go - but I also want to own the change and restrict my triggers. Drinking more than 2 drinks being one of them.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      There is no magic number. But that is awesome you're going. Discuss it all, including the drinking.
      6d
    • Microsoft Lsk4?
      Take the car out of the equation, Uber there and you have no other option on the way home.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Thanks for the support, Naively2 !
      @Lsk4 - That’s exactly what someone else suggested on this thread! Simple, elegant solution. Easily doable!
      6d
  • Morgan Stanley ninja007
    Drunk driving is inexcusable. Please stop. Just stop.

    Problem with drinking in moderation is alcoholism. It’s not just the frequency. So also seek help there - it’s not a bad thing to ask for help. Build a routine - 1 drink, 1 seltzer - paces you through the night.

    As for chatting up random women - as long as you’re not cheating on your wife, it’s kinda harmless. Do it with a friend/wingman - it’s more fun and will keep you in check and stop you from crossing your limits.
    6d2
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Thank you! Yes, Working towards fixing both the issues- driving drunk and drinking too much. I see it is turning into a habit now and I want to fix it before it is too late.

      Chatting up with women- that’s a weird one. I am curious to know why do I do it.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      Form of validation. Self care will allow you to supply your own validation and not seek it externally. You'll be healthier in every way
      6d
  • Teradata uvur74
    Take your wife with you. Ask her to spank your butt each time you flirt with random women and also be your driver. Hopefully she doesn’t have the same problems as you do !!
    6d4
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      No, she doesn’t have any problem at all! She is so much more responsible that I am. That’s what fucks me up the next day most. Why do I do this!
      6d
    • Teradata uvur74
      Take her with you to these parties / meetups. She will ensure you aren’t flirting and would also drive you back home safely.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      It’s a good point- but I don’t want to drag her in this mess. I want to fix it on my own. I owe her this.
      6d
    • Talend Unchipped
      So, you have a serious problem and you aren't willing to bring in the closest person in your life to help fix it - but you trust random anonymous strangers like us to give you the right advice?

      Get her involved. You'll have more success and fewer relapses with her involved from the beginning. She already knows there is a problem. Don't shut her out of the solution.

      You owe her that
      6d
  • Microsoft / EngCrashOverr
    You are dangerously close to ruining your life. Seek help
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      :(
      Doing that !
      6d
  • Microsoft / Eng
    Uh wat

    MicrosoftEng

    BIO
    Sup, brah?
    Uh watmore
    Sorry for being blunt, but you shouldn’t drink if you can help it. If you can’t help it, then yes, consider counseling. It’s especially concerning that you must drive when drinking. That’s incredibly dangerous and could take the lives away from multiple people. Not worth it. Agree with trying AA. Might be a good option for you.
    6d3
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      I am a bit hesitant with trying AA because I think I am not an alcoholic. I know that’s what every alcoholic would say, but I don’t have the urge to drink everyday. AA is very depressing too, right? Not judging anyone- just saying that probably I am not that into the abyss of my life.
      6d
    • Microsoft Lurch
      Go try a few meetings. Just for information. Then decide.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Ok, I will keep an open mind about it and give it a try..
      6d
  • Microsoft Lurch
    Try going to a few different AA meetings. See what you think of them and if you hear anything that makes sense.
    6d3
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      AA might be an overkill, don’t you think? I don’t drink everyday... neither do I have an urge to drink everyday...
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      I don't think there is anything magic about AA. It's just a tool to enable your self control. You can do it with or without
      6d
    • Microsoft / Product@zzz
      Aa is a religious cult. Sure it probably helps a few but I read somewhere more than 95% relapse. Fear of God doesn't work any more.
      6d
  • Gusto WtfBecky
    Apart from driving drunk, this all seems ok and normal. It’s natural to be attracted to other people.
    6d2
    • Uber otkdb
      Yeah just don't fuck them
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Lol! Thanks! Noted!
      6d
  • Amazon
    IamAWalrus

    Amazon

    BIO
    Doin walrus stuff.
    IamAWalrusmore
    Download Uber, asshole.
    6d5
    • Autodesk Hshsbs
      Language
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      ^ Thanks, Autodesk. Appreciate you trying to keep this conversation clean. :)

      @IamAWalrus - I prefer lyft. But, I see your point. However, you don’t see mine. I am saying I have a problem doing the right thing when I am drunk. I know what is the right thing to do. Driving drunk is NOT acceptable. I am working towards fixing that problem.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      I think what he's saying is you should take Uber both ways. Then you don't have the issue
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Yes! That seems to be the simplest solution!
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      Good luck buddy. And in the mean time look up self care. You'd be shocked how important this is to fixing yourself. Also join the r/NPD and r/narcissism subreddits and see if anything there triggers something for you
      6d
  • Apple NoName!!
    Drink as much as you want just don’t drive. Take a Uber . Be a problem for yourself , don’t be a problem to the society .
    6d5
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      That’s what. I know that- Problem is I am not implementing that. And I don’t know why! I promise you, I am a very smart guy. It’s funny when I type it out- but the issue is I don’t know why the fuck do I drive back drunk!
      6d
    • Uber ifk
      also you are not smart. am just mad at you for risking people lives by driving drunk. i have known good people who lost their lives because of smart idiots like you.. so stfu and see a doctor.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      You make a valid point. I was just saying that I know what ‘should’ be done. However, in an inebriated state, I don’t quite follow through. You are right about being irresponsible towards others. I am going to fix it. I promise.
      6d
    • Uber rfPB87
      Just don’t drive to places you expect to be drinking.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      That’s a pretty simple strategy! I can easily do that!
      6d
  • Microsoft 0xdeadbeet
    My neighbor was crossing the street with her in laws and week old son. Whole family Got hit by a drunk driver. In laws both dead. Baby disabled. Mom disabled.

    Get a handle on your shit. You don’t want to be responsible for something like that.
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      I am so sorry to hear that. Reading this just magnifies the importance of correcting my attitude. I promise I will rectify my attitude.
      5d
  • LinkedIn / Other
    Dang_IT

    LinkedInOther

    BIO
    Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
    Dang_ITmore
    OP
    Agree with all of you above. The driving back drunk is something I just don’t know why I do it. Yesterday was the latest. I drove into opp way in a one way lane- Thankfully the traffic wasn’t too heavy and I was able to quickly maneuver my way back. I don’t know who should I seek help from!
    6d8
    • Amazon / Engʘ‿ʘ
      Just stop drinking.
      6d
    • Gusto WtfBecky
      I’m sure your health benefits at LinkedIn include this type of counseling.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      Dude. A THERAPIST!

      Go to Google maps. Find the search box and type therapist. Maybe include marriage but it really doesn't matter. Go do it now!
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Yeah- This is what I will do. I will limit my drinks to 2 TOPS. And then drink water after that instead of pounding more drinks. Also, I will see a therapist. I can’t afford to fuck my life up. Specially, when I realize that what I am doing is fucking wrong
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      One thing to remember that might make you feel a little better is that you realize that you are doing something wrong. If it was a full-on disorder then you wouldn't realize it nor would you want help. I don't know if you should trust yourself to just have two drinks at this point. You should probably avoid the drinks all together until you start talking with someone and then feel it out from there.
      6d
    • Uber rfPB87
      Just don’t even put yourself in a situation where this is possible. Uber, Lyft, friends and public transportation are all reasonable ways to force yourself from doing anything stupid.
      6d
    • Redfin lisafrank
      Bro you are going to kill someone or end up in jail. Go to AA before the law forces you to.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      I feel all of you- it’s a pretty shitty life choice that I have resorted to. Fixing it ASAP.
      6d
  • T-Mobile Naively2
    Yes it's an issue. Immediately go to a therapist. You seem to maybe have some attributes of NPD, but not on full. It's fixable. But go now. Before you hurt someone and while you have a chance to pull this out
    6d6
    • Gusto WtfBecky
      How do you know about NPD?
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      Too many ways...
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      I looked up NPD right now. Looks like a super rare condition. I don’t think it is NPD, but what do I know.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      NPD is rare. Like I said, I don't think you have the full blown disorder. Just some traits. These are picked up in many ways growing up. Things like driving drunk and hitting on women while happily married are textbook narcissistic traits.

      Check out those reddit groups I mentioned
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Doing that now.. Thank you!!
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      Hang in there
      6d
  • Amazon / Engʘ‿ʘ
    One wrong move and you can ruin your life. Or of others, even strangers. Not worth it. Just quit drinking. Edit: also just realized I'm making an app to help people recover from drinking addictions lol
    6d4
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      That’s my resolve. Even if I do, I will limit it to 2 drinks now.
      6d
    • T-Mobile Naively2
      You need perspective from a neutral third party. Go now
      6d
    • Gusto WtfBecky
      LOL
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Haha! Perspectives are important! Never driving drunk EVER again.
      6d
  • Teradata uvur74
    “After I get drunk I try to chat up with random women with no sight of outcomes.
    I feel miserable the next day”.

    Sounds like you are doing more than just talking !!
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      When I am drunk and I chat up random women, I am so fucking drunk that I start slurring. Women are drunk too so it doesn’t really matter then. Next day, I question myself for such a weird behavior. I seek women to talk to! I don’t know why!
      6d
  • Teradata uvur74
    Why don’t you drink / pass out at home. Drink as much as you want. There aren’t any other women around. And you aren’t driving back !!
    6d0
  • Google CbvQ46
    I am like you. Frequently I black out. But I drive only if I had <4 drinks.
    6d3
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      I think that’s still over the alcohol limit, right? I believe one shouldn’t be driving if you have had 2 or more drinks.. irrespective of how much control you feel you have
      6d
    • Google CbvQ46
      Yes, it is over legal limit. It's a limit under which I feel I'm not danger to myself and society... If I'm driving I have <4 drinks, otherwise I take a cap even I'm feeling in control.
      6d
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Got it! Fair enough!
      6d
  • Cisco Wakeup
    Next time you have to drink.. take an uber
    6d1
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      Uber there and Uber back. I went to a wedding celebration earlier this year and the couple had intentionally blocked off the parking lot so people had to do this.
      6d
  • eBay / Eng
    seat

    eBayEng

    BIO
    Why did you click on me 😡
    seatmore
    You sound normal
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Lol! Okay!
      6d
  • Dexcom xXhT11
    You at least need to uber after you've been drinking
    6d0
  • Akamai Technologies <here>
    U need

    1- drinking buddy : responsible for each other, or
    2- a diversion , hobby, meetup
    6d0
  • Google / MgmtLovedoo
    Naah. Talk to your wife. She’ll reattach the noose around ya bollocks
    6d0
  • Intuit Nulla511
    Alcoholics don't drink every day. Alcoholics can't stop when they do drink though.

    If you regularly drive drunk you absolutely will kill someone at some point.

    Accept that you are an alcoholic and find help.

    I'm not ducking kidding.
    6d2
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Fair point. I was finding it hard to accept. But, I have been attempting to self reflect and introspect. I want to make sure I am not making bad decisions. But, I also want to make sure if there is a need for me to get help. I will explore all my options and fix this mess.
      5d
    • Intuit Nulla511
      Think of it as a discipline issue. Try going out with a friend and give them instructions to not let you have more than three drinks. See what you can do with help/coaching. But at the very least... FFS stop driving. There is no excuse whatsoever. But accept that you have a problem and try to tackle it.

      Good luck.
      5d
  • LinkedIn / Productgassoup
    I would look into that, sounds like there's some issue you haven't worked through yet. Seems like some kind of counseling would help
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      You think so? That’s been on my mind since morning. I will set up sometime with a therapist to get through this.
      5d
  • Microsoft UrPal
    Bring only $40 bucks to the bar and Uber home
    6d1
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      And leave the credit card at home.
      5d
  • Microsoft 80004003
    Don't drink and drive, do you really want to put other people's lives at risk ? And not mention the potential trouble you can bring upon yourself such as DUI etc. etc.
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Completely agree. I will get a handle on my choices.
      5d
  • Microsoft / Product@zzz
    Drinking is fine, but please please please don't drive. You get caught, you are fucked both financially and otherwise for a while, worst case get into an accident and kill someone.
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      I will ensure I don’t repeat this ever again.
      5d
  • I used to be the same to some extent I still am (though I never drove drunk). I drink way less often now but when I do I'm often out all night. Part of what saved me was simply moving to Seattle where there is less of an all night party scene than where I lived before. A big part of it was also that I simply made new friends when I moved here, and I chose friends who do other activities besides going out for drinks.

    It is nearly impossible for me to go to a bar or a party and have only one or two drinks. You can say you will, but two is enough to impair your judgment enough to make it three, then four, then...

    Now I only drink when I have planned in advance to drink. If I planned to be drinking then I know who I'm going to be with, I have nothing I need to do the next morning, and my car is at home: I took Uber to come out because I know I'm going to be drunk.

    My rule is if I didn't plan to drink I don't even drink one. I order a coke or an ice tea or even better make plans that don't even involve bars in the first place.

    If I do plan on drinking then I already know before I go out that I expect to get drunk and I am set up for that to be ok.

    Turns out that I don't very often really want to get drunk so it's pretty rare. Now and then somebody will invite me to a drinking festival and I'll come prepared, like a New Year's party.

    You need to realize that you are only in control when you are sober and let your sober self be the one to make the responsible decisions. Doesn't mean never drinking, it means planning in advance.

    Also I can't emphasize how much it is about choosing your friends. There are certain friends I have broken off with because really the only activity we ever had in common was drinking.

    Now I have friends that I do other things with like dinners or sports or movies or shows or events and stuff. I have a lot more friends now that get up early to go to the ski hill than friends who stay up late to get drunk.

    It's a lot easier to replace drinking with a different activity than it is to refrain from drinking at a drinking event. If your life and friends revolve around bars it's pretty tough to feel fulfilled without drinking. It's really hard to drink less, it's a lot easier to do something else instead..
    6d1
    • LinkedIn / Other
      Dang_IT

      LinkedInOther

      BIO
      Product Management / Business Process Re-engineering / Solution Architecture
      Dang_ITmore
      OP
      Appreciate you sharing your experience! I was thinking the same- Need to exercise more
      6d
  • TriNet AYwy24
    I can call 911 for you next time you can’t stop yourself from driving when drinking. Just send me your location and then number. They should be able to help
    5d0
  • Amazon OvBd68
    Drink to get drunk
    6d0
  • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
    First off, don’t drive to the bar. Take an Uber/Lyft/Cab. Keep the number for the taxi cab in your wallet just in case you need it (something my dad told me to do when I was in HS in case I wanted to go to a party - at least I’d get home in one piece). It will force you to get a ride home and not drive home drunk.

    In terms of drinking, for every one alcoholic beverage, drink 2-3 glasses of water. It’ll slow down your drinking and prevent you from getting a hangover next day. Also, you’ll need to pee - a lot - which will also pause the drinking.

    In terms of talking with women, it’s totally fine as long as you’re not flirting/risking your marriage.

    My guess as to why you do both activities is that it’s risky and exciting. Your brain may be biochemically seeing it as a reward and not something stupid (which you do realize before and after the fact).

    In terms of advice, be someone else’s wingman. Don’t get drunk, have one drink and help a fellow guy meet a girl, find a date/hookup. There are lots of lonely tech workers out there. He will help you not fall off the wagon, and you’ll support him in his quest to meet someone.
    6d0

Download the app for more exclusive content.