Is depression real?

Amazon Vaporwave
Mar 27, 2018 39 Comments

In China, they used to say depression is for lazy kids. I struggled, got a bachelors in hard sciences, moved to America for masters in CS and landed a job at amazon. Did all the right things, been here 2 years (6mos in a new team) and now I got a pivot document and my appeal is Thursday. I felt appealing would help but blind suggests otherwise. Should I go into the pip or take severance and move back and reflect. I don't know what i did wrong. 12hr/5 days a week and weekend oncalls. did it all. gave it all. I'm feeling very low and don't know what to do. I'm even questioning my purpose, this seems surreal. This is the first time I'm facing a failure of this size and I'm inept to face it. Thank you blind community for your support

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TOP 39 Comments
  • Uber PropJoe$
    Fuuuk Amazon. Take the pip and interview until u get a new job.
    Mar 27, 2018 1
    • Facebook Narc123
      Agree with this and also would suggest finding a good therapist. You need help with your mental state before you can truly launch in other areas of your life.
      Mar 27, 2018
  • Oath Quake-AoS
    You need to smoke some weed bro and get some pussy.
    Mar 27, 2018 5
    • Amazon Vaporwave
      OP
      real lifeprotips are in the comments
      Mar 27, 2018
    • OP, are you virgin?
      Mar 27, 2018
    • Amazon Vaporwave
      OP
      No wtf. I use tinder and coffee meets bagel and go on dates. not a lot maybe 3-4 per month
      Mar 27, 2018
    • Amazon Gandhy
      3-4 per month?? Dude that's a fucking lot.
      Mar 27, 2018
    • Amazon 123raj
      Just FYI going on dates!= not being a virgin
      Mar 28, 2018
  • Tableau VkfW31
    Depression is very real. I suggest you go see a counselor (I’m aware that in China this isn’t a really a thing). I’m sure you can find another job, Amazon’s attrition rate is extremely high, and there’s reason for that. Keep your head up and reach out to people for help.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Apple / Eng
    ʞɹɐԀǝldd∀

    Apple Eng

    PRE
    Microsoft
    ʞɹɐԀǝldd∀more
    Every PIP thread I read is from Amazon. What the hell at they doing to you over there? And what is this about depression not being real? Of course it’s real. I can’t believe the Chinese would let such an absurd position to even become a remotely popular one.

    Your job sucks. To hell with Amazon. Find another one. But before you do, milk the insurance to seek counseling to discuss your depression. Understand what your actual passions are. I know lots of people who picked this field just for the money and not because they really like to code. That’s the wrong reason IMO. They say life is short...no....life is long. Especially if you make the wrong decisions. Find your passions and be happy.
    Mar 27, 2018 1
    • Amazon / Eng
      jdhwhicjeb

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      Morgan Stanley
      jdhwhicjebmore
      Amazon's insurance sucks.
      Mar 27, 2018
  • Microsoft / Eng 20% raise
    Do they really say that in China? ridiculous

    Depression is very real and a very complex condition.

    It is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, although these chemicals can be themselves influenced by diet, exercise, lifestyle, stress, etc. as well as by your DNA.

    unfortunately depression can then lead you to make poor lifestyle choices that lead to more stress and in general make the problem worse. (think infinite loop, or any other feedback system)

    Sometimes all you need is a good change of scenery, or a vacation. Certain medications can help, as can therapy.

    Its not a binary thing either, rather its more a spectrum. If you suspect you are suffering from it, you should take action as soon. as possible.
    Mar 27, 2018 2
    • Amazon GMEF40
      There’s no such things as mental health issues in Chinese culture :/
      Mar 27, 2018
    • TuneIn qpxktb
      In Darwin we believe
      Mar 27, 2018
  • Airbnb / Eng
    AirPower

    Airbnb Eng

    PRE
    Google
    AirPowermore
    Hi OP, it is not you. It is amazon. Chin up and fight, bro. 看好你。
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng
    jdhwhicjeb

    Amazon Eng

    PRE
    Morgan Stanley
    jdhwhicjebmore
    Since you're in Amazon, it's most likely not you.

    Amazon's a shitty place. My last team kicked 1 guy out cause we were over hired. He wasn't that bad, definitely not bad enough to get fired. Amazon doesn't give a shit about employees. Get out. It's not you. This is a good thing. Don't work any more, prepare and get out of here.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Amazon fridays
    Very sorry to hear. Since you’re already in Amazon, it should be fairly easy to line up interviews. I’d say be prepared and move on. This ain’t end of life. Once you move on from this situation, you’ll gain lot of confidence.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Amazon qPNw05
    It’s not you, it’s the company. They need to get rid of certain number of people to meet quota and people like you who is hard working but don’t talk too much (maybe) end up as easy target. Don’t let them destroy you. There are many places that are better than this and you deserve to be valued by people who trust and support you.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Depression is real - it has nothing to do with YOU, it’s just you are depressed. You are seeing things behind colored lenses, know that the low you are feeling now is temporary and biased.

    Secondly, how you are feeling is pretty common for people at Amazon. Amazon is a slave machine. People on my team used to be depressed and dread the arbitrary deadlines and 4am Saturday morning on-calls. Most people leave in less than 2 years. Don’t let you bad experience with one company generalize to your whole life. Start interviewing (you will get plenty of interviews with your background), and just WFH since you are on PIP anyway. Tmr is a whole new day, and another company is just a month away!
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Amazon GMEF40
    Because it’s not all about hard work, it’s also a factor of if the right people like you, etc.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Tesla / Other
    iamtree

    Tesla Other

    BIO
    Non tech launching @worldcontrolled on the fly to increase awareness for #mentalhealth month - keep getting frozen out by YouTube fb and insta. Help?
    iamtreemore
    Failure makes us stronger my friend. Accept that you’re depressed and don’t judge it, but also don’t let it be your identity.

    Would going back to China be that bad? You worked at Amazon I’m sure you can get a job at a lot of places.
    Mar 27, 2018 3
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Facebook enginear
      Really?? I assume both are super easy to get in China. Also a shorter fight to Thailand
      Mar 27, 2018
    • Airbnb / Eng
      AirPower

      Airbnb Eng

      PRE
      Google
      AirPowermore
      It is super easy there
      Mar 27, 2018
  • Twitch YsvQ52
    Why did you stay so long under this condition? Even companies in China won’t treat employees like this. Didn’t you try to interview with other companies during this two years?
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Amazon goosebumps
    I went through PIP in 2016 and cleared it..I had good feedback this year. If you want to talk personal messge me.

    I went through stressful times as I have family and mortgage, but then I looked up all that got me into this situation and started working towards it and got back and cleared it. Luckily my manager supported me and I ensured I did frequenct interactions with him as well. I dod lose a lot on my pay hike and grants though.

    Dont get taken away with this, there are things you can control and things you cant.

    Believe in yourself and find another job or role.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • IBM ucft35
    It’s not you, it’s Amazon. There’s a reason their employees are known for being miserable. Depression is real, and I’d bet it’d be different if you worked somewhere else.

    Chin up, prep for your interviews, update LinkedIn. You’ll find yourself at a happier, better job soon
    Mar 28, 2018 0
  • Adobe Adminh
    Are Asians being targeted so as to make space for #diversity? Irrespective, I agree with most that you should start taking interviews. PIP would affect less that way.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Huawei is still hiring like crazy despite their products getting banned. Support your motherland.
    Mar 28, 2018 0
  • Avvo ooooool
    Good luck and you will get through this time
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Google pn3608
    Depression is real but take it easy. Accept failures and move on. Don’t bother what others would think about you. Fuck Amazon, Relax, take a step back, get back to interviews, I know you will come back even stronger.
    Mar 27, 2018 0
  • Google jVPB38
    u
    Jul 13, 2018 0