Living in Bay Area on single income ( should we go back to india)

New FzgP70
Oct 18 69 Comments

I moved to Bay Area two and half years ago .My husband is in tech ( non faang)!and on H1B. I waited for two and half years for my work auth based on my husbands i140 . i started interviewing recently , but the results dont seem encouraging so far. Are we better off going to india given our situation . his Tc is 150K ( 4 years experience) . we dont have kids . But with kids , its going to be more expensive . with single income , i feel like we are at the bottom of the pyramid here in the bay area. would like to hear thoughts from others . please dont do any negative criticism. i m trying my best to reach my potential and get a job . he too is trying hard to help me get a job and at the same time trying to improve his skills and raise his TC .

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TOP 69 Comments
  • Instasize cplus
    you have a realistic perspective, that’s always a good thing.
    You need probably 350 K household income to have a middle class existence with a child in the Bay Area. If that’s not realistic your quality of life will be better many other places. Good luck
    Oct 18 37
    • Instasize cplus
      Look you can mow my lawn if you need some extra income. I’m sure we can find someway to help you out
      Oct 18
    • Amazon real_bezos
      Lol you can’t afford us with your low TC
      Oct 18
    • Symantec GoRams
      With 400k TC, @cplus lives in homeless shelter. He/she does not have a lawn that needs to be mowed
      Oct 18
    • Amazon real_bezos
      Lol true that @GoRams
      Oct 18
    • Instasize cplus
      So much butt hurt. Sad
      Oct 18
  • Google / Eng dasgupta
    Screw US, move back to India, Bangalore is hot, even if you make combine income of 50L per annum you will live life king size
    Oct 18 2
    • Netflix
      apollo10

      Netflix

      PRE
      Google, Amazon
      apollo10more
      Is king size life possible in 3 BHK flat? I don’t see that kind of income getting you a nice single family house in Bangalore.
      Oct 18
    • Google / Eng dasgupta
      I mean you are not going to be living like amabanis but yes 50L puts you in top bracket in India and you can afford maid, driver, private schooling, rent a 3 bhk and eventually own one , get everything delivered to your doorsteps
      Oct 19
  • Cohesity wKrz04
    Single biggest thing that will help in this situation is not comparing to others in your circle in terms of where they work what car they drive etc. Agree that this is very hard to do when living among a big Desi community. Any time you meet any other Desi there is very high probability that questions like what do you do, where does your spouse work come up with in first 5 mins of talking.
    But if you take a step back and look at what is important for you to be happy, I think most of the things you think about will change. There are wonderful folks, working as teachers, police, etc, doing a lot more to the community and being paid a lot less than software engineers IMHO.
    Following TC race is never ending. Find the things that makes and keep you happy should be the guiding principle IMO
    Oct 18 0
  • Flagged by the community.

  • LinkedIn XVbs76
    Please don’t give up yet. You seem to have the right attitude to achieve the brinksmanship involved in interviewing for tech. It is really not that difficult to get ‘a’ job in our industry. It may seem hopeless, but it does get easy once you break through. Also the ROI on interviewing in tech and securing a job is huge in the Bay Area. Many magnitudes more than any other place in the world.
    Oct 18 1
    • New FzgP70
      OP
      Kind words , thank you.
      Oct 18
  • SAP tiipo
    Why not move to other cheaper city in US. Even seattle has lower COL and no state income tax.
    Oct 18 1
    • Amazon kmcY20
      +1 Bay Area or India seems like a false choice. There are many less expensive places to live where your husband's income won't decrease as much as the cost of living will. Probably more than 90% of American families would find it impossible to live in the Bay Area on their current income (myself included).
      Oct 18
  • Cisco glickkk
    Definitely get a job. You seem to be putting the effort and your husband supports it. Get a job, experience living comfortably in the Bay Area and then make a decision.
    Oct 18 1
    • New FzgP70
      OP
      Thank you for your support . I will certainly try .
      Oct 18
  • Amazon jeefff
    Hey,
    Going back to India is always a best option. There are plenty of opportunities back in India. Also you both would live a really happy and contented life back there than here on one income.

    But if you want to stay here make some money and then go back to India then I can may be boost up your confidence.

    Let me first tell you that there are plenty of open positions here in Bay Area. All you have to do is select one stream and figure out what has to be done to clear those interviews.

    That is the stressful part to figure out what should be prepared and from where. Because you never really are sure if you are on the right path or not.

    I was doing masters from a tier 3 university having fun until I realized I need to find a job. I had 6 months for my graduation and I had to start somewhere. Just like I told you I gathered information about the process of interviews in different companies for SWE.

    I started Leetcode I solved 400 questions in 6 months as I knew only that could help me. I was not sure if I was peeping the right way because except for Leetcode I didn’t knew anything.

    I put all my energy into practicing data structures on Leetcode for all six months. I interviewed around 7-8 of tier 2 and tier 3 companies . I failed miserably as they asked few technology based questions and I have never worked on them. I was only able to solve data structures problem that too only in Python. If they expected something else I couldn’t as I didn’t know. Also I had applied to more than 1000 companies on their websites.

    I was depressed and someone told me that people are getting amazon calls easily as they have lots of openings. I was not even confident to crack the interview but I just applied as getting calls is really tough just wanted to try my luck.

    I got a coding challenge on 15th May and I cleared that as it was already floating around on internet as amazon question and I had prepared for it. I had a phone interview after that I cleared that too. Again it was a famous amazon question you can find on Leetcode.

    Unexpectedly I got onsite call and I cleared it. On 30th May I had offer.

    The whole point of telling you this was one step before I quit working hard I was so close to success. It’s just know what you are doing . Just believe and do it . Job hunt done well for 3 months is sufficient for preparation and applying. Just know what you want and what is required for that.

    You will find a job it’s not that hard.
    But if you still feel like going to India. Believe me staying in a city like Pune, Bangalore, Hyderabad will give you much more happiness along with all the luxury you need.
    Oct 19 0
  • Fastmail ey12
    Well, why can't you move away from the Bay Area and look for a job in Texas or some place else. Plenty of Indians doing so all over three place
    Oct 18 0
  • PayPal YFIn28
    You can do it on one income, the biggest expense in the Bay Area is housing, if you can find something for under 3k u can make it on one income.
    Oct 18 1
    • New FzgP70
      OP
      I see . Can we have better standard of living in India as compared to the situation here . Like being away from every one , poor standard of living and even then not winning it and being at the bottom of the pyramid.
      Oct 18
  • You cannot have a winner mentality and at the same time look down upon yourself for being at the bottom of the pyramid. It’s sucking up any remaining motivation you may have out of you to try harder. And like others have pointed you are not really at the bottom anyways. If you go back to India because you think you failed here, you’d probably regret later with because I am sure you’d find many people who are already doing better there.
    Like someone said, the ROI on trying to get better at interviews is just to high.
    Realize that a even a 120k TC job at a scrappy startup would make you guys a power couple. Of course, someone will comment $270 household TC is below poverty line in the bay area
    Oct 19 0
  • Goldman Sachs PJfF76
    The opportunities are in both places, it is about how likely and how fast you can get it. So make a candid assessment of how likely you can succeed in both places and the level of happiness and make a choice. A low performing/low EQ coworker in my team was forced to return to his home country after being laid off. It turns out to be in his favor as he found a good job, thrived and leveled up quickly. His weakness in the US corporate culture does not apply back home.
    Oct 19 0
  • Oracle alwzangry
    There are people who make less than $150k with 15+ yoe in Bay Area. Blind has other posts about people making $100k in Bangalore.

    If you're not stuck on visas, save on living expenses by renting cheap and make the most of it (travel, longer work hours, consulting, etc.) before you have the responsibility of kids.

    Many places around the world, where Bay Area companies off-shore their work, have better quality of life, especially if your lifelong friends and family are near you.

    Make the call based on your personalities and never regret.
    Oct 19 0
  • Expedia Group owlette
    Keep trying, you will find something. You could also move to other places with low COL.
    Oct 18 0
  • Cisco / Eng
    tinkori

    Cisco Eng

    BIO
    Distinguished engineer (senior director), build teams and incubate products in systems and AI. Visiting scholar@Stanford. Recent work: Kubeflow.org, mlperf.org
    tinkorimore
    First of all believe in yourself, define your goals and don’t give up. 150k tc is not high but it’s also not too low to give up. Bay Area is a crazy place when you start comparing. Train yourself and interview. Good luck
    Oct 18 0
  • Instasize cplus
    https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/04/14/feeling-strapped-on-a-400000-income-thats-the-bay-area/

    My households around the 400 Mark and I certainly don’t feel super comfortable. Good luck
    Oct 18 0
  • Microsoft techladki
    With only 4 yoe you don't need to be in a rush to have kids. You can be happy for a little longer!

    His TC is low. And you don't yet have a job .
    So you clearly have a lot of room to improve, perhaps even more than double your total income. So it is probably too premature to quit.

    A few more details will help:-

    Just curious, why are you finding it difficult to find a job (I assume tech)? Have you tried non tech?

    And 150 is pretty low by Bay area standards. Why not job change? Need but be Facebook or Google, anything that will give a decent TC lift.

    Feel free to DM.
    Oct 18 0
  • Symantec GoRams
    If you have EAD, there are non tech opportunities. Have you considered those? Example: pre-school teacher, instructor (math/lang arts), admin jobs..
    Oct 18 0
  • Juniper mzsN77
    Try hard, if not try contractor positions for gaining US work exp! Don’t know how worth it is though, new grad here
    Oct 18 2
    • New FzgP70
      OP
      I interviewed for new grad role in juniper , never knew why I got rejected .
      Oct 18
    • Juniper mzsN77
      Well you can do better trust me!
      Oct 18
  • New / Sales BOOL37
    No you are not the bottom. There are people making only 75k/year with MBA degree, just like me. Too bad that I didn't choose engineering...
    Oct 19 0

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