Manager threatening to terminate over visiting terminally ill family member
At the start of the year my mother was in critical condition. I wasn't sure if it would be the last time I would be seeing her. I was in the hospital with my family from the day I reached India for 2 weeks straight. I did not have access to internet for these 2 weeks. I explained to my manager about my mother's condition and the urgency of my travel prior to leaving. Fortunately my mom was stable after the 2 weeks and was discharged from the hospital during the 3rd week. When I got back home to check my work emails. I saw some emails from my manager threatening to tell HR that I have abandoned my job and initiate termination because I didn't file my FMLA paperwork yet. He cc'ed his manager and a few others the email as well. When I left I told him I would be using my vacation days and would TRY to work from home in between(only because I was leaving on short notice didn't was to inconvenience the team). I cannot imagine taking another leave to see my mom no matter how critical it is until I can move to a different team. I have some offers but I'm trying to get a release date from him before those expire. Is there anyone I can talk to about this issue and find a way to resolve it? The HR is obviously in bed with these managers so there's no point in talking to them.
Amazon? Something similar happened to me at Amazon. I quit soon after.
No it's not Amazon..
No this reeks of Microsoft
Ah Amazon... definitely heard this while I was there
Family is more important
Crazy manager
Reply to the email explaining the scenario. Don’t argue or send multiple emails... end with - thank you for your understanding and will like to chat when I get back. Once back, Set up a meeting with your manager and discuss in person. Listen more and talk less, focus on problems issues and how to solve them. This has to be talked about. Changing jobs is not the solution as this can be a situation in any job that you are.
This happened a few months ago. I calmly replied and explained the situation. He said he understood and asked me to file for leave of absence immediately so that after the first 2 weeks of vacation days my third week would be counted under leave of absence. I filed for leave and submitted all the paperwork from my mother's physician and the leave was approved(although after it had started) but once I got back he's been making things very difficult for me. I understand his position as a manager but this isn't something one goes through everyday. I'm single and have no support system so handling everything the way he expected me to while taking care of my mom and barely sleeping 3 hours a days sounds unreasonable to me. I would expect him to know how to handle this better.
I agree that it was horrible. He is not a good manager. I am so sorry for you. However if you are still getting the cold shoulder from him, you should set up a meeting and talk about it. You should proceed like this —- “I feel like after my family incident, there is still some misunderstanding between us. I want to make sure I understand your expectations and continues to deliver the best per my abilities and I need your help in overcoming this challenge ... what can I do..?” When you say “I feel like...”, then you are not alleging that he did something wrong. You are merely telling him that this is how you feel...he cannot tell you that you are wrong and that he is right cuz you are talking about how you feel .. this is an important way to represent your views and thoughts and have difficult conversations. I have successfully navigated my way through similar situations. Practice practice practice ... think about how he would respond ... again practice! I can help you prepare if you’d like. DM me if you want to talk over phone l.
Salesforce?
With certain companies like yours, it may mean you need to make these tough calls -- to quit or wait to get terminated. It's an unfortunate situation but you need to make these tough decision. I can see why your manager would be frustrated with you due to the short notice and the inability to check work emails. Manager's main responsibility to have all his/her ducks in a row to be able to manage people. But at the end of the day and if it comes to it, a job is a job, and you'll be able to find another one, but time with parents is limited.
A decent manager doesn’t flip out of one employee is MIA for whatever reason. What if Op was incapacitated and wasn’t able to answer? They make the big bucks to because they’re supposed to be able to handle tough situations. That person does not belong in management
@2CH before I left I informed him that I would be using vacation days and would try my best to check my work emails if possible. It wasn't. The situation at home was very bad. There was also no urgency at work at the time that I had to be present for. There was no reason
Sorry to hear about your mother having such a tough time. If you have offers then get off that team as soon as possible. There’s no way they are going to ignore this when it’s review time and they might even fire you anyway. If you take extended leave without doing the paperwork the it is technically job abandonment. They will be within their rights to fire you easily so you need to protect yourself and leave ASAP.
It wasn't extended leave. The first 2 weeks were vacation days. He expected me to have the leave for the third week approved even before it started. The leave management company itself gives 20 days to submit the documents. But yeah I agree they will find something else to use against me if not this.
Jobs will come and go, mom is just one.
Change your job
I took 2 weeks off at the start of the year. According to my manager I don't have any PTO left since we don't track it. From the time I got back from home he's been saying I need to do way more than my peers to get the same rating as them. Job search has been difficult since I can't take time off to attend interviews without coming back to hellfire. I have a few internal offers(still interviewing outside) but I'm more interested in taking action against him after I leave the company.
Once you've left the company, share his name and company publicly. These SoBs need to be exposed for all to see