So I called out a coworker for making sexist comments at the workplace and provided some witness. Later the witness started to retaliate against me and made working at the office a lot harder. Has anyone encountered this at the workplace? How do you deal with it? I can’t record what they say because that is illegal here. Any advice? Updates for Clarification: So say you are in my situation and this happened. And so you go to your manager and you talk to him. Your manager by law has to talk to HR and they immediately contact you to follow up and ask to provide witnesses. And they end the conversation saying that you have to keep this confidential. I highly doubt that talking about a women’s body part is appropriate. But that being said all you want to do is to work in an environment where they are mindful of your presence. Its not fun being on either end of the situation. Many are asking for the comment that was made, here it is: “Girls are known for their succulent p***y. And then did the hand and mouth gesture and I was sitting across. Then they looked at all the girls that passed by and commented on there ass”
I encounter this every day on blind too
I'm confused on why the witness would retaliate (rather than the coworker you called out).
Yeah I don’t get it either. That person was called out so they need to grow up and not do it again. But why does the witness need to retaliate. It doesn’t make any sense. They just need to grow up understand that people come from different backgrounds and learn not to do it again. That is all. It is really as simple as that...
We need to know what is the comments and what is retaliation in your case. It can be that they are weirdos. Or you are too sensitive.
Comments are about women body parts. Retaliation is refusal to cooperate and work with you
Did you discuss with the witness before hand that you were going to report it and that you need them to be a witness? Did that witness agree with the inappropriateness of the comment? I’d be pissed off if I got roped into something that I didn’t agree with.
Firstly, the two party laws that says you can't record are the most misguided laws ever! Who ever came up with that is a moron. I'd still record it anyway, you can always play it to your manager (but don't admit on paper that you have a recording), or "accidentally" turn on the camera and let it run a bit after the conversation so it looks like an accident
OP, there is a reason Blind is anonymous. If you can't say what the comments are, even if not the exact words, no point posting here. No one can help you
Yeah doesn't seem like op has any real stuff . Or spoke with witnesses before hand. Quite likely you miss heard something. Given you have no proof you have no case. Sucks but that's the truth. Quietly possibly in this whole scenario you ruined some Innocents career.
I don't think you should just call out someone at work, even if they are in the wrong. Work with your manager and the witness first before making any move
Yeah. I spoke with my manager first. Its in the reply of the previous post
After reading this... OP keep mentioning that the person in question mentioned a women’s body part. I will assume in the middle of some friendly conversation, the person in question said something along the line of “Stop being a pu**y”. And OP got offended from that. With no disrespect to women and this language is certainly not appropriate in a working environment. But OP overreacted. It is easy to get offended if you want to be offended. The fact that you looked at my jeans can be sexual harassment if I think you are a pervert. And whoever I don’t particularly like tap me on the shoulder is by law an assault(at least in Washington). You need to talk to that person in question that you don’t feel he should say those kind of words in a work environment, instead of reporting it to HR and potentially screw him really hard. You only report it when he doesn’t change his behavior. I guess in conclusion you need to grow up too. Which kind of adult gets offended at some word not even directed to you and escalate out of proportion before a face to face conversation. Don’t think just because the other witness didn’t retaliate against you that they don’t think you are a complete weirdo. It will be hard to have a conversation around you after this incident. Who knows when you will feel offended again.
I feel sorry for you. Thats not what happened and it was a disgusting comment. And again asking for next steps. If they feel that insecure that sounds like a them problem. I just need them to behave in a professional manner. And I feel like a broken recorder, bro HR isnt there to fuck you man. They are there to make sure its a OK environment for people and that engineer knows. Why cant that fucken witness learn?
Many people asked what was it. If you don’t say it, then we can’t judge it as well. But in general you should talk to him first, tell him to behave professionally instead of escalating right away.
I was hoping op would try to convince us more how she is right. Looks like we convinced her...
I updated the comments. You can learn to read. There is also another post in women in tech group chat. That went into this further. And the comment that the colleague made was very much inappropriate. I can send you the link if you are interested :)
Sure go ahead
Depends on how ‘sexist’ that was. Are you one of the over sensitive SJWs?
So I don’t think its necessary to say what the sexist comment was. That person was called out so they need to grow up and not do it again. But why does the witness need to retaliate. It doesn’t make any sense
Hey Krepton. I identify as an SJW. if it pisses you off, I suggest you fuck off.