Why has everything just become a big fig comparison competition?

Background: I'm in my late 30s, more than 15 yoe. Been around the valley for more than a decade. Seen my share of IPOs and high TC years. Moved to a lower TC and higher WLB position to raise kids. Over the last year decided to move back into a higher TC position. (College tuition ain't cheap). Interviewed a ton, got a bunch of offers. Decided between two FAANG companies and a big startup. Decided with the startup. Future TC: 400k, current 250 Now it may come off as me just whining about non existent problems, but I'm just sharing my experience over the last year or so talking to people and interviewing. But just hear me out. When I started looking, the first thing I did was try and reach out to people in my network, take them out for coffee, and know more about the companies/positions they're at. No strings attached, if they offered to refer me it was okay, but otherwise I wasn't pushing anyone. I just wanted to evaluate the market before I started. What I realized was most people just weren't nice about it. Mind you some of these folks were ones who reached out to me in the past. People would downright not reply to messages, if they replied would say they can't meet because they're too busy, the ones that met would try and act as if they made it because they're crazy awesome and that I'm not cut for it or won't make it, some would judge my current workplace/role and make unpleasant remarks about why I am still there etc. There were a few good people who were genuinely good and this post is not about them. I am thankful for having such great people in my life. Once I navigated this and started applying for positions, the next set of people was recruiters. Ohh boy. Most of them would just look at my yoe and current company and reject my resume without even looking at anything else, thank God for referrals. Getting on a call wasn't that great either. Some were great. Really polite, would listen to you and understand everything you say. Others were just completing their checklist, not listening/understanding. Some would just ghost me. Others would not follow up for weeks. Some would act as if their company was the shiz and they only hire the most bestest of the best on the valley. One or two of them got nasty on negotiating offers, low balling me by hundreds of ks and suggesting I should be thankful because at least I'm getting more than what I get currently etc. And the last set of people are the interviewers. This was waaaay worse. From highly paid kids fresh out of college interviewing you on that one leetcode hard that has nothing to do with your job, to other veterans wondering I must be incompetent to have not be making as much money as them. Some just plainly not interested in talking to you because they have other candidates from Google applying for the position, to the ones who would just be on their phones because clearly I'm not worth their 45mins. One mid 20s JavaScript developer almost blurted out that I must not have enough skills (in cloud infra) to be a software engineer at their company because I'm working at my current company. Ohh the horror stories. Tldr; why do we have to decend into this big fig comparison competition when talking to others? Everyone in the valley is talented. Maybe differently, but the TC or the company you work at has nothing to do with it. Why can't we just talk to other human beings with a little respect? You know maybe one day you'll be at the other end.