I grew up in a post-communism family with the added bonus of an alcoholic father who literally gambled away my small college fund. Money was always on everyone's mind and is a frequent topic or discussion St home even as we've moved up across three generations. People give me funny looks when I ask what they pay for rent though? Or what their salary is just so we know if either of us are being unfairly compensated. Why is talking about money taboo? TC:$210k and some change. 4 YoE. Went to a state school that offered me a nearly free education.
Because people are insecure and one of the primary insecurities all people and couples face is financial.
BINGO: Reason #1 for my parents' divorce was that. People give me strange looks when I say I want my partner to be as good or better than me financially.
“or better than me financially.” - so you allow yourself to be worse than your partner financially, but not your partner?
TC?
Updated
Talking money is as bad as politics or religion; some people assign value/worth.
No value in discussing something that can only lead to arguments, jealousy, or envy.
Is it more information better than new information? Painful as though it might be
Usually not. How would knowing your friends rent or salary help you? The market is never fair, and someone will always be a better negotiator or luckier than you. If it turns out you are the luckier one how will that help your friend? There's no value to either.
What post communism family are you from with FOUR years of experience?
Former Soviet Union. Was literally born on the way out.
Why did you start working at 23?
My two cents. Instead of asking for friend's rent, you can ask for the range of rent in friend's area. That way you get a better and useful answer than just one data point. Also, if the friend is open to sharing his rent, he will pretty much reveal how much does he pay to you give you an example. You can do the same with salaries. Questions like asking for salary range for some role with some years of experience at some location- will not offend anyone.
That's what I do but some people get really touchy about it.
Ask yourself why do you need to know your friends rent. What functional value will this provide to you? Or your friend?
When you don’t have a lot of it, money is hard to talk about. It represents a future that is out of reach, and forces you to re-examine decisions you’ve made in life. When you make a lot of it, you want to talk about it all the time. It’s triumphalism and quite natural. An option is to just look for like-minded high earners. Talk about money all day. Dunk on each other. Start with /r/fatFIRE. Or, join a country club. Just don’t be a jerk to your friends & family.
Dude. This is some immigrant mentality that dies hard. There are also many Americans who are clueless and grew up in a barn too. You DO NOT ask anyone - even friends - about their TC and - a lesser taboo - you DO NOT ask about their apartment rental rate and especially about any terms of their home purchase unless that person initiates. It is considered rude. Take note. Hope this helps.
I hate when ppl ask about my rent. How does it affect you and your life? I've had folks leave and grab a brochure from the leasing office to see. Typically, if I do answer, I'm told how stupid I am to pay this much and I could get something cheaper in some random ass neighborhood...It's their money and their life, they don't need to share it with you. You don't pay their bills.
Born in the US but I think the taboo is really strange. I feel at some level everyone here is insecure about their position in society. I would rather have an open society where I can talk about my shortcomings and get help as needs rather than always trying to hide in case someone will judge me.
It’s been done before. Go on Wikipedia and search for “German Democratic Republic” or “USSR”. Surely you can get to rental cost equality this way too...
I don’t know what you are talking about.
All this and no TC reveal?