How do you, ladies make it? With 3 kids that ~2-3 years apart of each other. How you manage time and staying sane. It is a constant process of teaching them( how to play, share etc), put them in the car, get them out, childcare, schools, other activities. When do you have time for yourself and your partner? When do you live? And how do you do that? Especially when both work full time. Another question is how to bond with everyone equally, how to build that relationship with each and don't lose it?
TC?
220K how would that help you to answer?
220k will let you outsource all of that pretty easily. That's what they do in rich families.
I only work part time and I struggle too, I don’t think it’s always possible to stay sane! And it’s not about not being good enough or anything, it’s exhausting! I’ve found that I have to personally accept and remind myself that we can’t do it all, and it’s ok to just do your best. It’s even ok to lose it sometimes, because we are human and burning out when you’re doing so much is kind of inevitable. With bonding, I try to spend time with the kids individually or playing together when I can. A special bed time routine? A family outing on a Sunday? Or a one on one “date” with a kid to do something. I always do my best to make sure to spend some time snuggling while watching a cartoon, playing with a toy/game/coloring a picture together. Little things I can do when I’m home and have a moment, but you’re not doing anything wrong ❤️❤️ worrying about it already shows you’re an awesome mom too
Just as different perspective: There are single parents, both men and women, who manage to do this. Advise you seek them out and ask how they do it.
Do you have help from your family/your SO's family? Also try to outsource using care.com or other nanny website ? I personally don't have kids but have talked to friends who do. It's a give and take game, social life and luxuries are definitely out of reach. My friend's career was taken a hit.
You right. SO’s family on another coast. Help when visiting us only. Social life is circling around kids activities even if there is only one. We doing not bad financially, I can get almost whatever I want, but not sure what kind of luxury you refer to. Not sure I care about career, work only because of money. If I'd win 100500$$$, would not work at all
You are a champ!
One idea I suggest is hire an au pair that lives with you if you don't have family nearby. Forget about care.com, usually those nannies are looking for long term full time and cost more than a daycare, by providing less flexibility than au pairs do. Besides this advise, it gets better once your kids go to school and you can also get some after school care for them. But don't expect the burdens to vanish even then. Stress tends to move from physical to mental challenges the older the kids get. I tend to agree that both parents working full-time ain't going to work out for the longer term, especially when school kicks in expect to be very flexible and also consider 70+ vacation days per year to entertain the kids during breaks. Welcome to the club :)
Thank you. Good advice
I second the au pair route. If anything it helps with the "taxi driver" syndrome and allows for having one on one bonding time. My other advice is to do more activities together as a group, the more you and the kids spend time together the better they will learn the message you are role modeling about sharing and working as a team. Hang in there, it's hard but gets easier when they get older.
Kudos to you.. can Imagine how crazy it is for you.. as I am struggling with just one kid and lots and lots of help and super flexible job.. what helps me is.. Try to build a routine, squeeze atleast 10 mins per day to do whatever soothes your soul..like just some meditation, reading a book in peace or just enjoying that chocolate or coffee.. and give some undivided attention to each one daily.. for atleast 15 mins.. that helps you see things through from their perspective and gives you peace.. trust me.. just wait.. everything's gonna get under control
How old are your kids? This matter most how you manage your kids and your time.
4, 2.5 and 6 months
Do they all go day care/pre school? Do you need to pack lunch/snack?
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I agree with bl@ckmamba. We just had a conversation about that topic with my co workers