TC: 230 YOE: 3 I lost motivation and desire in life. After college I’ve chased after being a fang engineer in SF so that I can learn skills to build a startup. Now I lost all ambition even though I now have skill to create. I’ve worked hard for the first few years and got GC and promotion. Work is challenging but no longer intetests me. i feel like ive achieved what i wanted at work, but i dont know what i want to achieve next. i see more people at work that i dont want to be like than i want to be like. I’ve traveled in between, but i feel like i didnt build my life. My life only looks good on Instagram. I dont have sex as much since i moved to SF. i feel like ive grown myself spiritually here in SF, but lost empathy towards others. I thought about moving to a bigger city or move abroad, but I don’t want to lose my green card.
Move to NY or LA
Agreed. Much better sex ratio.
You seem to have great level of self awareness. Come find yourself in NYC.
u should change the way u look at life. Life is just not achieving goals and earning money. Life is just a survival, boring life is a part of it. If you feel boarded and not motivated just try different things until u find the one that interests you. and the cycle continues. According to psychology people who achieve success quickly tend to be less happy in their life. Don't expect too much out of life, boresome is part of it.
Thanks I keep telling myself this but it’s hard. I guess I need to keep trying different things until things spark again.
This mostly happens when you don't believe that whatever you are doing or will be doing is going to be meaningful. I was there sometime back and it ain't a fun place to be in. You need to find that vision which will make your work/life meaningful again. I did a search inside yourself workshop and that helped me realize what I was missing in life and now I feel the spark back that I had when I initially started my career. I actively work with children's groups. This has given me an additional identity. I am no more just an FAANG engineer working for money but so much more than that. Ping me if you want to connect or want more pointers.
Thank you. This really resonates me. I used to have faith in my direction in life and believed in it. I think that was what drove me. I now feel that I lost that direction that makes my life meaningful. I’ve become too comfortable I guess. Maybe I need to step outside of my comfort zone to keep searching for that vision.
I feel defeated climbing up the social ladder in SF. NYC sounds interesting. I wonder myself if I’m just blaming the environment. If I can’t make it here why could I make it somewhere else.
Welcome to the life of a paper chaser. Maybe stop being so shallow and go find some meaning in your life. Expensive cities, big incomes, drinking expensive lattes and buying useless luxury goods doesn’t add meaning or value to life. Go hiking, pick up a sport, learn an instrument, read a book, buy a 3K sqft home with a pool and throw parties with friends. Find meaning and value
Yeah I feel that too. I do all these regularly except for buying a house with a pool and throwing a party
Do you actively play in an adult league/ pick-up league for a sport? What instrument do you play? What kind of books do you like? You will have to move out of SF/NYC/SEA areas for the home purchase. Not chastising you, trying to get to know YOU and not your resume.
Take responsibility for someone. If you’re not into having kids then build schools in 3rd world countries, educate, mentor, provide for food. In the US so many kids are being abused for being in families with addiction, violence, poverty, homelessness. Take responsibility for 1-5 kids. Kids are the future. Those who are already born in shitty situation didn’t make the choice to be born. Yet they suffer w/o knowing why!
Move to a growing city where you have a chance to be the one to drive business. I'd look into Portland Maine, Plano TX, or Detroit Michigan.
Portland Maine and Detroit sure. Plano is just a Dallas suburb.
Lack of sex is doing this to you. Spend a month in Bangkok banging koks and you’ll get a perspective.
Go watch some porn or something
Lol
Or get an Occulus Quest and Porn will be even better?