EDIT: for all the assholes who said i was a troll / it was my problem. i confronted him this morning and told him to stop. he shrugged it off and went about it as usual later in the day, a pat and arm squeeze. (I’m a woman) Male co worker tends to squeeze my shoulder/rub my arm/pat my head. He doesnt do this to only me but other women as well (ive seen it and heard complaints). How can i bring this up? i find it uncomfortable and demeaning. Especially when he pats my head like what am i, your pet?? He’s friends with his manager, they used to work at the same company together so not sure how to approach reporting(?) this. To his manager? To HR? I just want it to stop. Edit: never been in this type of situation before so appreciate all the advice.
WHAT YEAR IS IT?!
I know, people find the lamest things to complain about nowadays. Too spoiled
What’s the matter? In America, it’s not okay to touch coworkers. It can quickly turn into sexual harassment. I can’t tell if you are being sarcastic.
Only one way to fix it. Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and that he needs to stop doing it. Sometimes in life you gotta have those difficult and awkward conversations.
This. Will help make it stop not just for you but everyone else
Report to HR. Once he gets reprimanded, touch his dad to regain dominance. But seriously, just report to HR. Everyone should be comfortable at their workplace
There is nothing to report, just tell him first, don’t be a dick to a colleague
Netflix, what? He’s invading her personal space and touching her and other women inappropriately but she’s the dick?
Start by telling him politely in your 1:1. Take a note of the day when you tell him in case you need to go to HR in future for this issue.
This
Pull him to the side. Very privately. Tell him he’s violating your “religious beliefs” when he touches you without your expressed specific permission. Apologize for letting it go unaddressed this long. This should register heavily on him or anyone and they will remember and not take it personally.
Yeah, unless you're getting truely harrassed, it's always better get things worked out with the person before HR. First document things (just so you remember later). "Hans was uncomfortably touchy with me and (other females names) since at least (date). I talked to him and he said (blah)." If things clear up, you are done. If that doesn't work, come with 2 other people. If that doesn't work, involve HR and use your notes as a reference.
This is very helpful. Thank you!
gently but firmly move his hands towards your armpits; repeat as needed
This made me laugh too hard 🤡
Have you tried telling him? Depends on your personality, but if I was uncomfortable, I'd jokingly say something like "hey, your touchiness might result in a bald spot on my head. Let's switch to words instead" I prefer to first give a benefit of doubt, and just let the other side know I'm not comfortable. Maybe he's really not aware of that. If the above wouldn't work, then I'd politely ask not to. My previous boss used to hug everyone (it was a small team) and one guy was turning red every time he did that, but would never drop a word.
I’m a bit introverted so it’s hard for me to confront it sometimes but this is a good idea thank you! It’s just most of the time I’m caught off guard, he’ll come up behind me and squeeze my shoulders, say hi and walk away and I don’t have time to react 😰
I'm quite comfortable asking questions within my team, so during lunch we chat about cultural differences and other things. I'd bring it up as an "interesting" topic. Like say how differently people perceive the same thing. As an example would bring the manager's behavior and say that it's not common for me and for some cultures it is a common thing. But this would have to be a genuine conversation, because people feel when it's fake and it won't look good. In my culture it's actually a norm to hug coworkers, but I understand how it looks here, so don't do it🙂
Wtf
Really sad. When I was an intern in my previous life I saw this happen and the women just shouted at him in front of his manager. Those guys just awkwardly laughed and not sure what happened after that. A few months later she was forced out(she wasn’t a great performer but can surely say this was the main trigger). I’d suggest not confronting that cheap fuck, but rather casually (and carefully) bring this topic to your other colleges. Most likely folk like these piss many off and you’d have some support to report to HR in group. I’m sure it’d be a big deal in Apple..
Contact HR and ask they tell the manager and/or employee anonymously. “The reporting employee wishes to remain anonymous but insists she’s not the only one.” - if it’s not just you then that’s unidentifiable.
This is a bit tricky if he just started doing this to you and you report to HR. He can call you out and I am worried that you might experience some sort of retaliation. I would suggest talking about this to other female colleagues in which this js happening as well and collectively go to HR. That way you have a strong case and can get immediate action on this guy.
Can u ppl have balls to tell the person first?? Oh, wait.. nvm