@women - gender discrimination + talking to HR?
Hi - I’m currently considering speaking to HR about being discriminated against for being female. I think that my manager has biases. I don’t want to get into the specifics of my situation for anonymity reasons, but I’m wondering if other women have had experiences talking to HR or dealing with this in the workplace. Once possibility is that I talk to him directly instead of HR, although I’m not sure that would go over well. Looking for lessons/wisdom gained from experiences in dealing with this issue. Thanks!!!!
You thinking your manager has bias may be bias itself. If you go to hr saying your manager is biased against you, there isn’t much they can do. Document facts , leave out subjectivity and your feelings. Then go to HR with the documented facts so that they can take action if your manager is in fact biased
Consider this very carefully before you pull the trigger because there is no going back if you later change your mind or other facts come to light. You are probably going to besmirch someone’s record permanently. If you go to HR without first discussing your issues with the manager you’re not giving them a chance to fix whatever it is or offer you an explanation. You always have the option to go to HR if there isn’t any improvement in your circumstances. If you’re worried about your manager burning you because you brought it up, don’t worry HR will see it as retaliation and will protect you. If you don’t mind disclosing what are these biases? Everyone has some bias. The question is what are they doing about it.
On the other hand, I’ve been in her shoes, I talked with my manager about it and he did retaliate so she is right to be cautious here. Also he may hear it better from someone else.
Yes it is a fine balance and that’s why I asked the OP for the nature of biases. It doesn’t seem there were clear cut violations. When you involve a 3rd party, it tends to get messy fairly quickly as they bring their own agenda. It doesn’t always solve the problem for the individuals involved. It probably will solve the problem for the company.
I would find out if your company has an employee relations team and if they are not part of HR.
Document everything ! leave emotions out . You may think anything you want, but once you involve HR you have to prove your point. Many times it’s hard to prove certain bad behaviors and biases Speaking from my experiences in the past.
Document everythingggg.
HR is not your friend. Their job is to protect the company. I reached out to them for help and it did not end well. Maybe try reaching out to the head of global diversity for suggestions or a mentor or someone you trust in your organization.
Also, I would suggest talking to an attorney now.
Thank you everyone for all of the thoughtful responses. I really love the one about reaching out to the head of diversity for a mentor and will try that. I did talk to HR, and the case is being investigated by the employee relations team. Any suggestions for employment lawyers in Seattle?
Just messaged you
Document every incident, time place and possible witnesses. Save all email/chat correspondences that can prove your case. HR will not do anything without sufficient evidence. HR is there to protect the company from lawsuits and bad PR. So by default they will side with manager unless you have strong evidence. Retaliation should not happen normally. Best they can do is probably move you to a different team.