Hey blinders I'm 29F. I have been a hustler and competitive until recently. Now I feel like not doing SDE anymore. Although I have 4.5 years of experience. I'm laid off in April. Lately, I am not wanting this career. I should want it as I'm on a visa. I feel like I can do something else to earn a living but not this. I do not feel like going into corporate. Hence I'm not trying to get a job. Ideally I should just work towards it but Idk why I'm not doing that. I considered SDE jobs to be cool and easy going but lately workplace has become such toxic that I don't feel like going into that setup again. I'm just a builder, I do not indulge into politics. That's the main reason. NW : 30k TC : 180k before layoff
What was your old comp? Do you want to make something close to that? It’s hard to tell you where to drive your career
Posted. You see, I'm a failed founder once before Amazon. I have that itch constantly to build something. That's where my NW is low. I burned it in my first startup. I just want to build and enjoy the process and earn from it. That's all that I want. But how do I stay here. I'm in Bay area fwiw.
And I'm someone who can work on something only if I want it. I can never work with this false pretense like visa issues. I don't feel like my world is falling apart. On the other hand, my close ones are asking me to get a job to stay in an opportunistic area. But the problem is I should want it genuinely to actually convert in job interviews. Sigh!
Every job will have toxic politics unfortunately
I'm on the same boat as you sis - totally get your feeling but please don't be jaded & have faith
You should try another company or two to make a more cohesive decision. If you make the same decision then at least you know it to be true. Would hate to see another female leave the tech space tho.
I know how you feel, I don’t want to do this anymore either. However, I already have so much momentum and education in this career path that changing is unwise. People say you can switch careers anytime but that’s generally untrue. A career is an arch and changing it has huge costs. You don’t want to be older but in a situation where you have to hustle like someone 15 years younger
Yea, that's why I wrote the age. I do not want to change a career but the set-up doesn't look enticing at all. I work my ass off if work environment is nice. Anyways I think I'm starting to realize. Thanks mate.
I did something similar... Was burnt out, lost the passion for what I had been doing... Took the leap of faith to chase a new dream... Build it from the ground up. Turns out, I just hated where I was at, not what I was doing. Still dabble in the exciting shinny thing and the dream still there.... But not relying on it to pay my bills helps keep me sane.
Just accept a mediocre life. You’ll be happier
Yea, I think about that like getting any any any tech job to keep me in status. But I can't move a needle in that direction.
I’m curious How come you are without a job since April and without a job and still in US, doesn’t the visa give you 60 days(h1b) and 90 (f1) to find another job??
Classic Amazon tale
Sounds like you just had a bad experience at Amazon. It’s a classic story. Try different companies and you’d be surprised by the difference in environment.
Exactly what my psych told me