How do I find Motivation or meaning in my life. I'm not sure if I'm depressed or not. (Def not suicidal because I look forward to raising kids in my 30s) Each morning I need to jerk off to get myself out of bed. I'll then go for a walk before work. When work starts it's fine, nothing too interesting. I have avenues for growth and design. Around noon, I'll have a before or after lunch jerk off sesh bc of stress and to calm the coffee rush, followed by another 15 min walk break. Wlb is good, manager is great and understanding. After work tho I'll drink maybe 3-4 times a week, half the time alone or with coworkers/friends. Alc makes me chill and numbs the mind after thinking all day for work. Outside of work and friends, I do have a gf of 4yrs. We love each other and she's honestly my best friend, we have great conversations, same interests, but my gripes are she's not super smart when it comes to attention to detail. (When travelling, if I'm not routing, she'll route to some random ass place instead of where we want to be.) She's also not super sure what she wants to do with her life/career. Also her family isn't too keen on me bc our different cultural backgrounds and her parents don't speak English. Her parents want her to marry her own kind. I work out 3-4 times a week (225 bench, 295 squat, 305 dl) on top running a weekly 5k around the park (8min pace). Only running to keep cardio and I get the runner's high after like 2.5 -3 miles in On top of hobbies like working out, dance workshops, and learning a new language. Leetcoding 3x a week (trying to move jobs within 6 months - yr). Why the fuck do I feel so aimless in life, unmotivated, and just going thru motions of life. Will I feel better later? Is this just a trough rn. I travel a lot as well hoping to feel better, and it does make me happier, but it's fleeting. A week or two after a trip, I'm back to reality. TC: 200k, 4.5 yoe
Have you tried the stuff huberman podcast recommended? Probably the morning jerk off is causing a crash in dopamine. https://youtu.be/vA50EK70whE?si=2SMZeJYQQYKrpr0M
I will look into this
There is no meaning in this dumb fuck life tbh. I have just accepted that. Gotta find something that keeps you excited and keep chasing wherever it is until you die.
What’s the purpose of your life & existance? When life itself is said and done what will be your biggest regrets? Find a higher purpose in life and things will start to fall in place. Meaningless grind of life will become a lot more flavourful
I'm not sure of a solution to your problem. But I hope you eventually find happiness
Thanks man I appreciate it
You sound perfectly normal to me. In fact more level headed down to earth type than average.
Thank you for the kind words
Happiness in life comes from solving problems. Direction in life comes from having a routine which solves smaller chunks of that problem. 1. To stop the morning jerk off, have a morning routine such as seeing the sun rise, cleaning, cooking, stretching etc. 2. To stop office jerk off, play some game in the game room or your phone. That will give you a dopamine hit. 3. Make it a point to cook upon returning home. That will take you away from the post-work drinking. 4. Keep doing more of leetcode and join an evening dance class. You'll probably get someone better suited for your situation. 5. Talk to more people and try to solve their problems. There's a reason why some people regularly comment on blind and give pointwise answers to questions 😉
Thank you for the advice
Any advice would be helpful