I am having a really hard time with our newborn who is 4 months old and getting my husband to help more, I’m pretty burnt out. I am still on maternity leave, but the most I can get is an hour or two of help a few days a week after his work day ends. We have no family here. I do all the night wakings and the care during the day. In four months I haven’t had a night off or a break more than 4 consecutive hours. Curious - is this the norm for working parents? Can’t tell if I just need to toughen up here. He wants more kids but I’m not sure I can do it. #workingparent #parenting
I can’t respond because I only work the job, the other takes care of the kids (most of the time).
Can your spouse get a paternity leave? Or could you afford a nanny? Idk any working parents who don't have either family or nanny helping with the baby, or sometimes - both at the same time
This is pretty much the norm unless you can get family members to help or hire a babysitter for couple of months.
Unfortunately it is probably closer to the norm than not, but he can and should be helping out more. Should be a 50/50 split at minimum in the times he isn’t working. Night wakings are a bit tougher if you are nursing, as not much he can do there to help. If not nursing or if you can pump enough for overnight bottles, then he should 100% take one of them for you. Also could get up early with the baby to let you sleep in as well some days.
We are bottle feeding. After many months of trying to get nursing to work, she wasn’t gaining weight properly. And that’s what I was starting to think… why can’t he help me on the weekend one night, right? We will need to talk about it, thanks for the input! Right now he sleeps in a separate bedroom even on the weekends.
Yeah that’s ridiculous. Should be taking at least one of the night wakings every night if that’s the case. Certainly talk to him about it, he needs to pitch in.
No splitting if the kid wants you most of the time. Some kids are clingy to one parent. With our first, he took care of bath, and naps during weekends. Also did grocery shopping, dishes, laundry and other outside chores. I was on baby duty and and cooking. Our kid didn’t sleep through the night for 1.5yrs. So zombie mode most of that 1.5years.
Good question, so money doesn't buy everything. Have a daughter and we both are working, I can say be on the same page with your partner to make life easy for you
That’s normal, you are breastfeeding he isn’t, you can take a nap during day he can’t. This is a curse and privilege of being a mother at the same time. If you are ok with formula, he must help you then once in the night. Ex, you put baby to sleep when baby wake up you hubby must feed baby and clean baby and sooth it to sleep. If formula not an option, he can help you to clean and burp after breastfeeding. But keep in mind he still need to work and have clear head to provide for the family. Abuse him during Fridays and Saturdays. P. S. Father of 2
Have you tried the Merlin magic sleep suit? At 4 months they should be able to sleep through the night. The sleep suit worked wonders for us. As long as the baby is 10 lbs, that's the minimum size. Talk to your husband, tell him youre burnt out and you need help. Try to have some things in mind that he can do- like make dinner, clean the kitchen, wash pump parts/bottles, go pick up a Merlin magic sleep suit at target or Amazon. Feed the baby while you shower. Tell him it would be so helpful and that you need some self care time. It's normal to feel like you do, it's a big transition. You are not alone, mamas all over making this sacrifice. It does get easier, you will get a groove, be nice to yourself.
That sleep suit is magic. Went from sleeping 2hr at a time to sleeping 8 then 10 then 12hr per night within a couple weeks. Buy at least two so one is always clean. Zipping my daughter into it was like pressing a power button on her, she just turned off and slept.
Yeah, it's tough especially during the initial days, when you start Introunce solids it gets better with the sleep, also remember to sleep train early, if you get a good sleep your day will be better also remember your life is never the same as before. Father of 1, we had to choose formula, so initially we choose alternative nights to take care but I couldn't focus on work so I shifted to weekend.
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If you think a four month old is hard wait until they start walking 😉
Ahhh!!
I had an easy firstborn and then my second born was born! Don’t even ask🙁