#NRI: How to avoid loneliness?
I have been living in US for 3 years now. I came all alone. Since, most of my college time passed in Covid, lockdown kind-of restricted from making/having friends. Though after lots of struggle from loneliness I made few friends. But soon I moved to a new city. It felt as if I started the whole "alone in new world" again. Since it was WFH, it was again impossible to meet people and make friends. I tried couple of things to interact with people by pursuing various hobbies but somehow people just come to classes, have a small talk and go back. It feels as if I am the only one in this boat. I have started doubting myself. If my behavior isn't good. I sometimes tried to be consciously over sweet or caring just so that people add me to their group but it is breaking me from inside. It hate being fake. I sometimes get panic attacks, I feel like just going back, but I know it isn't a solution. I am not able to concentrate on studies. Its been a while that I wanted to switch my job but I am not able to put good amount of effort. I tried to get these lonely feelings out of my head and study but every time after 2-3 days, I lose it. I am struggling with these "everything is going wrong" feeling. While I was in India, I had a lots of friends in every phase of my life and it was so effortless to have friends. It was easy for me to concentrate on my career. Now, I just don't know how to cope up, stay happy and have some good friends around me. #anxiety #mentalhealth #loneliness #wfh
Hobbies where I'm working directly with people to do something have helped a lot with building a friend circle - I rock climb a lot and you meet lots of people through belaying together. But really, adulthood isn't like college - you need to put in a fair amount of work to develop, strengthen and maintain friendships.
I have tried some classes, but yes I get your point. I will probably try to enroll in group activity type hobbies.
Start having random sex with strangers
the trick here is you have to be feeling not lonely and unfulfilled to find other people who will find your company interesting. there is a density problem in US where there are simply not enough compatible people around. for that one has to broaden one’s horizons.
Look at your stack of cash and feel blessed
Have a drink 🥃 buy a cigar 🚬 listen 🎧 to music 🎵 visit places 🌆 read books 📚 call ☎️ mommy Take free therapy sessions 🥰 from Visa Go for shopping 🛍 Attend burning 🔥 Man 👨 festival Take a road trip from Nevada to Las Vegas Go to Mormon church 😍 Talk to Mennonite 🧔🏼♀️ What more do you want from a Racist country! What a Lazy slacker!
Toggle between Netflix & porn.
Why can't you come back to India? You can go again after you are married and/or have kids.
Join meetup and explore groups of your interest
Only way to do so, going to office speaking with colleagues, go to indian religious places where some activity happens such as kirtan in iskcon Join meditation groups and go to library and some little bit laid back cafe Go to bar in the evening sometimes. When you go to same bar same cafe same meditation group same temple. You will be good after 3-4th visit. The waiter or the cafe person will be friendly with you Don’t expect deep meaningful relationships, it does not work in Abroad. Most of the natives does not have meaningful relationships. Find opportunities to help, it opens up places
I tried the religious group thing too, but like the classes, people just greet and leave. How to make a company with whom I can go on trips or hangout in free time
For this you have to find Meetup group wo goes for hiking and trekking in a group. There you exchange contacts and start with a coffee or drinks in a bar may be once in a month, then it gets better. If you expect everyone will be dear to you from the first day. It will not work out. For me library and cafe worked best. I simply asked what book are you reading. Simple things. Also if your insurance allows get a therapist, it would reduce your desperation What is your TC?