So a new member joined my team and of course he has lots of questions and issues. So I gave him all the documentation links, answered questions, and hopped on a call to take a look at problems and walk through projects, and at the end of slack exchanges and calls he just says “Ok good, bye” or “got it” and that’s it. No thanks for help or gesture to show gratitude. Is this normal? For context I don’t sound intimidating at all and talk naturally, and use emojis in slack so no cold messaging or nothing AFAIK.
Work is work. Don’t *expect* thank yous or pats on the back or you’ll end up having a very unhealthy co-dependent relationship with work and it will lead to your demise (burnout). Not to mention in some cultures it is not appropriate to be overly emotional with thank yous, so you’re most likely creating a micro aggression over cultural assimilation — not very empathetic — person could be from troubled past, grieving, or has something else going on so long as it’s not impacting work performance don’t bother them over nitpicking their emotions. It’s not illegal to silently demand etiquette but it’s not empathetic when you don’t know the person very well. Yes you can get fired for a sour attitude but is that what you want to happen? Take the person out to coffee or lunch and get to know them better. Detach emotionally from work immediately. You’ll feel better. For instance native Americans are introverted and you’ll rarely see them smile at you or wave hi like mainstream Americans. Do you want the person to suffer because they don’t fit the culture you’re used to?
I believe thanking has nothing to do with culture at all lol(maybe I’m wrong, I dunno) but that’s fine. And I never said “hey you should say thanks” or anything. He can keep that “culture” and I’ll probably just distance him and that be it.
Work is not work. Saying thank you is a basic thing
Sounds like lack of social skills or he’s from a different culture
I don't expect a 'thank you' for hiring someone. They thank me after onboarding once they realize they're in a good team
it is a mind game for you to think about the new hire and it works. so play the game too. ignore the new hire and don't give praises either. #betoxictoo jk.
The thanks just aren't necessary. You both know you're there for work and helping him is part of the job. You didn't actually do it as a favor, so why would you want him to pretend you did? He's not being rude, just matter- of-fact
If that’s your mentality then your colleague probably hate you.
it's your job, no need to thank
Yes it is, but you aren’t seeing the point at all. Shows what kind of person you are lol
baseline is no thanks. anyone who says thanks is a bonus
Just stop helping him. Then next week, he’ll make a post about how the senior engineers aren’t helping him and wonder why
if its indian then yes
Sometimes new hires are so overwhelmed with information, they forget basic social skills. Go easy on them, and let them build confidence. They'll acquire more skills as time goes. As for you, you obviously shouldn't choose not to mentor someone based on this. It's silly. Think of other things to fill your day.
Some people just talk like that, I’d frame people saying thank you as a nice gesture rather than people not saying thank you as a shortcoming to avoid frustration. Thanks for the post.
I see what you did there. Thank you