A very tricky situation
I have an interesting issue and need advice. Will keep details to minimum to ensure anonymity. I recently explained to my manager why it’s so difficult to work with person X. Person X makes inappropriate sexual comments (not towards me), has highly inappropriate sexual behaviors and generally speaking - is a very difficult person to work with. Person X is also a bully. My manager was aware of a previous issue with this person, but didn’t feel like it’s enough to submit to HR. He now has decided to submit to HR and told them my name. They have opened an investigation and want to talk to me. The problem is that I do not trust HR, I do not want to be put in this situation without my consent and I am terrified of the reaction person X might have and how this will impact our future work. I was 100% honest. But do I have the right to refuse having HR conversations now that my manager has submitted it? I never wanted to do this. I know others are unhappy with person X but no one has done anything. Why me? Why does my name has to involved? If I refuse to talk to HR will they assume I am not telling the truth? Will this somehow impact me or my manager negatively? I’m very frustrated. I’ve heard It’s never a good idea to be in HR records in any capacity. I’m a stellar employee and all I’m trying to do is do my job well. My manager said he needs to be kept out of it until an investigation is completed and that’s all me from now on, but I don’t want to do this! He reassures me retaliation is being punished but I’m worried... What are my options? Thank you.
You've probably found yourself a sociopath. Document everything you know to be true because they are exceptional liars. Collect data personally like a diary or a daily log. Read up on how to survive sociopaths and their cult followings (yes, you read that right. They have an army of supporters they've charmed to protect themselves from getting fired). If you're not devilishly smart or don't have the stamina for the emotions this person will inflict on yourself and your team, be prepared to leave this job. People like this are incredibly hard to take down. Good luck.
Thanks. Not sure what this person is. What I know is that they are not liked by anyone on my team and there are many similar issues that are casually discussed. I’m simply trying to understand if I can refuse to talk to HR now that my manager has shared this with them and how will this impact me? What are my options, do I have any?
I was able to successfully get my sociopath/bully ejected from my company after I told HR. HR told me the procedure for them to conduct a successful investigation, such as asking me to not talk to witnesses or the bully about the investigation. They also asked me what he did or said. They said that they would tell me the disciplinary action after the investigation. Within a few weeks, the bully left the company. I’m not sure if he was just coincidentally laid off or he was actually fired; HR never told me.
Honestly HR will not fuck you over because person X is a small fry / your team mate . You can tell Hr to keep your name out of investigation as a Pre condition and just get their commitment . I see no problems here , I have dealt and helped friends deal with similar situation in the past . Also you should suggest names of other people who dislike person X. However if X is a woman then no one will believe you about sexual jokes
I think by posting here you’ve already told HR
A crazy idea that would cover your ass.. Assumption: You want to stay on that team with that manager in that company in the same capacity but without Person X bully around to make you uncomfortable. Schedule a free consultation with a plaintiff side employment lawyer. Explain your predicament to them and likely options: they'll advise you on steps forward (free or at some cost), they'll encourage you to work with them to formally respond (unlikely). Do that with a couple lawyers and if they have similar opinions, it would be wise to follow their recommended path. It's free to you (most likely), but if not that lawyer will be on your side to ensure no fecal excrement hits the proverbial fan.
You do not need to talk to HR. Likely, nothing will be done, as a result, and your credibility will be shot in both your manager’s and HR eyes. No retaliation of any kind should come of it, but if your org has long memory, you better not complain about anything else. If what you shared has even a shred of harrasment, HR has to investigate. Does not look good if you will not cooperate.
What is the definition of harassment?
Managers are mandatory reporters in California. When you told your manager they had to report to HR by law. They don’t always but they are supposed to
Op- what ended up happening?
Look at Google recently. Don’t escalate to the HR. Just call the cops.
I didn’t escalate. My manager did on my behalf :(