I am an Indian guy, who has been competing till now to finally land a decent job. My mental health has in the past 2-3 days absolutely tsken a turn for the worst. I am almost 30, And for the last 2 days I have not written a single line in a doc, and my office performance has taken a huge nosedive in a time when layoffs and pips are becoming more and more frequent. The problems I feel that have led me to this: The recent promotion, I got promoted recently and the work before it and the pressure was hell. Even the post promotion numbers are peanuts considering the effort put it and the pains taken. Constant clashes between my family, for some reason and around little things, my family just keeps shouting and fighting every morning, giving me headaches and making my work incredibly difficult. The ongoing construction work and the constant 9 hour drill that keeps running. The process of Arrange Marriage, and the rejections and ability to find someone to marry. I did not realise this was going to be this bad and this brutal. I massively underestimated this. I met had someone and had to reject her, and I have felt horrible since then. The pressure to lose weight, I've already lost about 4-5kg but to reach to a healthy level, the drop has to be 14-15kg and I am still far off. The constant dispute with my father and his uncles regarding inheritances, this is not as a frequent as the others, but when it comes, its usually a big fight having a major effect. And for some reason I've stopped brushing my teeth and taking a bath as well. I feel I am already depressed. Also being the sole earner in the family, having to support around 8 people and also helping with debts of my dad's business while they continue arguments with his uncle also makes my job with even more pressure. Its 8am and I wanted to show some progress on my doc before the standup at 12, but here I am close to giving up and cribbing on a post. I am not sure what has led to this, usually I've been able to overcome this but this time feels different and worse.
I know this may sound obvious but please consider finding therapy that resonates with you culturally. It was life changing for me. Also depression meds helped me a lot! I owe them my life and my current piece of mind and it was best decision ever. I'm from a different culture but depression hits equally hard across the world.
You really need therapy. If you're not able to brush your teeth, you're in a bad place mentally and you need therapy stat. I feel bad for you that nobody in your family noticed or seems to care. Your family seems very transactional. You need to focus on yourself first before you can help others
I managed to brush my teeth. So thats one task off my plate. My family themselves are a shit-show! My mom is already on meds for anxiety, my dad is always frustrated and my sister too seems irritated all the time. I am probably one of the saner ones, and there are times where I do not have power left myself.
Go to therapy, you don't want to wait till you are extremely depressed because the med will make you feel like shit first before you get better. You don't want to feel even more shitty in a full blown depression, that could be lethal
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Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. You need to make progress in some aspect of your life. Giving it all to your work is a good idea. Block out time in your calendar to simply work without distraction. If you’re working from home, change your environment. I’ve come to terms that I suffer because of me. Own your suffering, and you’ll be free from it.
I understand what you are saying. Apart from work, there is nothing else that will make me give good progress with a few hours of work. Documenting has always been my weakest point, even when things are good, and thats what I assume is taking its toll even more.
It’s important to make progress in one aspect of your life because it’ll give you confidence and energy to address other things. Make work your highest priority. You’ve identified a problem with your work - “documentation”. This is lingering in your and f*** with you. If you’re a religious person, think that you’re documenting this for “god”. And that, everything you do is for him. It’ll make things easier and you may develop a greater sense of calm and gratitude. If you find that it works, implement it in other aspects of your life too. Everything is for “god”.