it's been 20 years since I moved from a remote village to US, and I still struggle with the American way of artful bragging. Is there anyone here (especially Asians, Indians, desis) who had to overcome a similar struggle? How did you do it? (please be as specific as you can) Context: I am unable to effectively match my internal confidence & accomplishments to credible storytelling, and corroborative external body language. So in professional settings which need tooting my horn (taking credit for my accomplishments, job interviews etc), I have not been able to find the right balance, and either come off as overconfident, inauthentic (lying), or a super aggressive, cocky confident type. It is not my intention to be awkwardly humble or threatening over-confident type. How should I learn this skill? I blame my parents😜, One of the values they instilled in me was to never brag, and win people over with hard work & dedication. That alone does not work in the US.
Could you write whatever you wrote in simple words.
Wow. Save your breathe.
Don’t be like all those things you believe you need to be. Those people are very obnoxious and insecure. Be what your very smart parents instilled. That’s winsome.
Read 48 Laws of Power. You’re welcome.
Trash for product managers lol
Don't brag. Use the STAR method (Google it) to break down your past work. Write it down. Work on it until it feels right. Memorize the stories when you need them to interview, make a case for promotion, etc.
Don’t try to be anything. Be yourself. In job interviews, simply replace ‘we’ when you speak with ‘I’. You don’t need to do that substitution any other time.
Oh man. This is universal in lots of parents I guess. I had to learn that confidence is not the same as bragging. - Use facts to build your story. This works in most companies. - Practice behavioral interview questions. Record yourself doing them and watch it to critique yourself. - Get a buddy (or a group of people) who can give you honest feedback. It can be someone at your same level but a different team. - Get a few mentors. Select people that seem confident and who would be open to meeting with you 1-2x per month (set it up as lunch or dinner and have it be your treat). While you’re meeting with them, tell them what you need advice on. Observe their demeanor and body language. - be a genuine & authentic human being. After you practice long enough, this becomes 2nd nature.
Ghost masters, improv, theatre club
Did you mean to say Toast masters?
😱💀👻
Thanks everyone!
Focus on facts but speak in a detached manner about the impact you had on broader contexts. Imagine the feeling of walking onto a superluxury yacht or jet: you should act impressed but as if you’ve seen this before. You appreciate it but aren’t awestruck by it. I find this sense valuable to keep at front of mind when conveying the value i’ve added in the past.
Bragging is not the only way to win other people's confidence. Humbleness never looses it's value. Don't blame your parents blame yourself.