We were in relationship for 7 years. We did have ups and downs in our relationship but we were happy. Atleast I thought we were happy. This relationship started at college so we experienced lot of monumental things like getting first job. He was my biggest cheerleader. We were planning to get married in the next 6 months. I realized he has been seeing some other girl since last year. We live together n I still did not realize that. They have been going on vacations together. He used to say he is going with friends so I did not doubt him. We broke up. I feel numb. I feel void without him. I live in a foreign country far away from family and friends. He was all I had. I know I don’t deserve what he did to me but I don’t know how to go on with life. Any advice? How do I deal with cheated on by the person I trusted the most? TC-300K #mentalhealth #depression
Dump his ass. You deserve better! It takes time, but you'll get over it. You'll date again, and hopefully find a better partner! Look at it this way, you dodged a bullet!
That bullet took 7 years to reach her
Better 7 years than 15 plus a kid
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Go. Play.
So much this. I tried everything when I was cheated on and nothing helped. This massively did and made the process so much easier, it also restored my self worth a bit which was shaken after being cheated on.
Don’t engage in meaningless sex just because you were hurt by someone. This is the worst advice and you’ll only have regrets from this. Accept the reality and work on yourself for a while. When you feel ready again only should you get with someone.
As someone who has been cheated on twice, I would say just give some time :( It ain’t easy but you just gotta fight through. Everyone says the basic stuff - go to gym, hangout with friends more, find some activity etc etc. I did all that. Doesn’t help much lol. Just give time and eventually you will reset.
It’s hard to even get through a day. I keep questioning why he did what he did. We had a chance at a good life and he threw it all away for a random stranger?
You've to be conscious NOT to ruminate on "why". It's pointless as what matters is his actions, not the motive. His view of a valuable good life was different from yours. Anchor your mind on the relationship blindspots that got you here, prioritize to heal yourself well and engage in anything that makes you smile/laugh/energize.
Its a tough pill to swallow. But it wasn’t meant to be - I guess being not married helps - not emotionally though. If I were you I’d probably take things slow - go on a vacation to England - countryside … live a little for yourself, dont let this drown you in sorrows - do you have friends to talk to? Talk to your regular support people, if you do not have any - give therapy a try if needed… but just reset for a few weeks can help
Contact other men on Blind. I’m sure they will take good care of you. I heard Rajesh and Rahul are available.
Karen here, sorry Rajesh and Rahul are taken. Ask Dorky Bob or Joe.
As a married woman, you dodged a bullet. People who can hide and maintain a second secret relationship are not the kind of people you want to marry unless it is an agreement between the two of you. This type of behavior does not go away unless they make the conscious decision to change. This often takes therapy on their part if they wander out of defense or immense self-control and awareness if they wander out of boredom. If he doesn’t seek to change then he’ll keep doing it. He’s probably already looking or has a 2nd person that he’s hiding from his current primary. People like this generally keep a revolving door of multiple partners. The fact that her boyfriend never signaled any signs that something was wrong and was moving forward with marrying her is a huge red flag to me. To be completely honest, there was probably nothing wrong. He simply is not a monogamous guy, but he pretends to be one.
The red flag take here is harsh but very much needed and on point. I don't condone monitoring your partner's every action and move, but to not see signs of something of this magnitude is really concerning. It could be out of blind faith or sheer apathy. Both are bad.
I was referring to the fact that her boyfriend never exhibited any signs that something was wrong (according to OP), such as being grumpy, starting arguments for no reason, or expressing dissatisfaction. Instead, he proposed and was planning to marry her. To me, this indicates that he may have a personality disorder and had plans to keep cheating on her post marriage.
Buy me an Xbox
Lol
Go out and talk to people.
This is so unfortunate. I hate to be putting a positive spin on this, but this could have happened after getting married too. And trust me, I have friends with far worse stories of post marital cheating. You'll be fine. It's your time to get the dating apps and explore what's out there! People are still recovering from covid isolations and everyone wants to meet people! You'll be alright sooner than you know! :))
I am so sorry to hear that. Think this as God's intervention to protect you.
Lol. God was late but not too late so let's praise the god.