Building better relationships with coworkers
I had some great feedback from a former boss the other day. He told me that people said to him that i was harsh and intimidating on slack and that led people to not want to engage with me or share work. He also said he never saw that in conversations or calls or in person but in chat apps it was more apparent. I am very demanding and can be harsh and stubborn. These are things i recognize and want to improve on. I’ve read emotional intelligence, Carnegie, dare to lead, radical candor, and am reading super communicators. I’m in a senior position where if other people mess up i usually have to clean up after them. There are also language and time zone barriers. It is hard for me to trust people, just in general. I’m very, very demanding of myself. I should probably lighten up. I’ve also tried mindfulness and am in therapy. Maybe i have autism or am on the spectrum. I was wondering if anyone has advice for this. Has anyone been in a similar position? I also tried using Grammarly for sentiment analysis and it was basically useless. I feel the more senior i get the more limiting this will be. I don’t ever want to be the boss who makes employees feel anything poor unless it’s an obviously warranted thing (eg malfeasance). TC: could be more #advise #tech
Try talking with the most influential of the bunch and tell them some of what you said here. Maybe reword it to say you recognize areas of improvement for how you communicate and want to do your best to improve. When people see a sincere effort, even if you mess up along the way, they’re more likely to be understanding.
I rather work with you than fake coworkers. I prefer direct coworker.
This is why you are at a senior position and those snowflakes stay where they are
Change your statements to questions and you're good. Instead of "hey we need this fixed now. This architecture wasn't the most ideal" to "Hey looks like we'll need to fix this asap. Can we also then do a retro on how we arrived at this solutuion Vs. X?" The reality is that there's always context to all good and bad things. If you change your mindset to always be setting or learning that context then you'll never appear to be rude.
Seemed like you were speaking of me. I hold similar observations about myself. I am consciously working on this and see improvements. If you are comfortable, we can discuss more.
Would love to
I’m really grateful for all these comments and definitely hope for more, thank you
Read Surrounded by Idiots
On the kindle now, thanks!
I have the same issue in slack. I like to draft a message and come back to it after about an hour and revise if necessary. Taking some time helps give perspective
Use ChatGPT if you're unable or struggle with professional communication.
It’s not that I’m not professional. I’m not cussing anyone out.
You're not understanding me. If people are saying that you're hard to talk to, that's not being professional. Using ChatGPT will allow you to take a step back from your emotions and let it come up with a better response.