Tech especially frowns upon office relationships within companies (I'm talking about US). We instantly react to such an idea with a visceral rejection. Minds immediately go to sexual harassment. But that was never the case a generation ago. Many of my parents' friends got married to people they found within companies (including mine). In fact, companies used to promote this or at the very least, workers would fine it positive to date someone within one's own companies. Cases are, your parents or their friends got married this way too. And it made obvious sense; we spend most of our waking adult lives working and interacting with our peers in office spaces. And these people are of like minds, skills, caliber, and achievements as our own (aka what we look for in our mates), since we're in the same company that selected us. But through legalization of the workplace in recent years, relationships within companies became an HR matter. HR basically wanted to prevent any kinds of internal lawsuits, and office relationships became the prime target. Along with the MeToo movement, all office romance became associated with sexual harassment. And I'm not saying sexual harassment in the workplace doesn't exist or isn't bad. I'm saying that because office romance became completely taboo, we had to resort to alternatives that is far far worse to office romance. Our generation has to find someone only outside of office, mostly using mf dating apps. And try doing that when you're working in white collar jobs where you work long hours and wiped out after work. It's no wonder why so many working professionals are single nowadays. Anyone who's in the dating market now knows this, experiences this, lives through this. Yea, good luck trying to set up dates after work. See if you have energy for that. If you can easily find a pool of suitable candidates who are of similar minds and caliber as you outside of work. Why do you think dating apps became so popular btw? Oh and how has dating app worked out so far for you? Every decision has consequences. Once you ban office romance completely, now the workers have to find alternative ways to pursue romance outside of work. And again, if you feel disgusted that I'm even suggesting such a thing, just keep in mind that a generation ago, no one thought this was disgusting at all. In fact maybe your parents got married this way. #dating #officeromance #hr
In my experience, this isn’t an issue related to being in a tech company, it’s all (big) companies. The only difference may be that tech workers have a (perceived) smaller dating pool. That being said, I think the sentiments that people have are all reasonable. The risk/reward profile is not usually favorable. But it sometimes is. Enter at your own risk.
We need to allow managers to start dating their direct reports already. Stop with the discrimination!
This used to be more normal before #metoo. Now we’ve thrown the baby away with the bathwater. Traditionally men are supposed to approach women (which is a whole another cultural problem, women need to approach more) and men don’t want to risk being accused of harassment
The douche bags that can't buy a clue and can't keep their hands to themselves ruined it for everyone.
You can date in most companies. Just not within your chain of command or where there is a conflict of interest. Also, romance isn’t as much of an issue, it’s the fallout from the breakups/rejection that cause more harm in my experience.
That and, I mean, just imagine if the general Blind population got the greenlight to start pursuing all the women in their office 😂
Cmon, how many of those work relationships of yesteryear weren't between direct line reports? How many women were there in senior roles? You're still allowed to date coworkers, you just can't bang your secretary anymore nor hire based on who attracts you. And we have dating apps now. It's much easier for office workers to date today than back then. If you want to shit where you eat, go get a job as a chef or a bartender.
Good luck. There is no way in hell that any HR a department is going to bat for your idea; not when it effectively maximizes the chance of a lawsuit, and minimizes any possible gain, whether it be talent, revenue or any other metric of success. With how feminism and the #MeToo movement has changed relationships and dating, I wouldn’t want to date any of my coworkers, let alone any woman in or around my employer—aside from the fact that you should never get your honey where you make your money, there is virtually no chance of succeeding at work. If talent was wooed by office culture, RTO would be a shining success for relationships instead of a universally despised bane. Maybe in the past, but certainly not now. Throughout my life, I’m 0-3 when it comes to asking out my coworkers. Each time, it has backfired spectacularly, and I consider myself lucky that I didn’t get anything worse than a rejection. Susan may appreciate a handsome man approaching her in the office, but there is no way an average or ugly man receives anything other than a rejection in the office. No woman is going to risk her career for a coworker, period—couple that with the fact that you’ll possibly still have to work together after the rejection, and it’s a negative experience altogether. Dating apps have their downsides, but they protect you from in-group bias, shunning and harassment claims—which is a very real thing that I’ve experienced and that I’ve seen many men experience. Women are not approachable, they do not come to work to be approached, and you will be rejected and shot down for approaching women even in socially acceptable scenarios at work. The women at work are closed off, and likely have their own in-group bias that works against you. I have never heard of anyone marrying at work among my generational peers, nor have I seen any statistical data that says otherwise. The time of office relationships are dead and gone, and they will never come back. TC: 105K
It’s a bad financial decision. If your company has layoffs, instead of losing 1 income you lose 2. Even if you eventually go to different companies, you’re still both in the same industry. Diversify your income streams and marry a lawyer.
Tldr. But office relationships aren't taboo. People are really fine with them. What people are less fine with are relationships with your direct team / people you work with everyday. And obviously relationships with a reporting chain. And that's always how it's been.
Exactly. Such a huge post/rant on a false premise.