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TLDR: my wife threw a tantrum over a mild annoyance in a public place. Anybody ever had to deal w a spouse like this and wonder if it’s time to break up? Edit: We’ve been married 5 years, no kids, and she suffers from EDS(chronic connective tissue disorder) and recently diagnosed w Chiari malformation possibly leading to surgery if we decide it’s best path. —— I set up an appointment at Cleveland Clinic for my wife 4-5 months ago. She finally had the appointment yesterday. We drove 3 hours the night before the appointment and stayed at the Intercontinental hotel attached to the hospital to make the day’s logistics as easy as possible. When we checked out my wife left her Theracane in the room by accident. She realized this while we were waiting to see the doctor and asked me to call the front desk to have housekeeping set it aside. The doctor appointment goes pretty well, no revelations but doctors were great and said they’d put us in touch w a specialist. When we get back to hotel to pick up our bags, my wife asks front desk about the Theracane and they said housekeeping didn’t find anything but they’d be able to ship it to us if it turns up. Mildly annoying but this isn’t a family heirloom it’s a 30-40 thing you can buy on Amazon and have delivered the next day. My wife is pissed and starts raising her voice. I try and reason with her calmly but she ignores me. Hotel staffers are being kind of annoying but then my wife is being super rude so I give them benefit of the doubt. My wife then says she’s going to go check the room herself. Staff says no you can’t do that it’s occupied, but she walks to the elevators and goes up. Staff starts calling security which leads to the police eventually showing up. Throughout my wife is raising her voice and not making any attempt to be or even appear calm. Somehow she convinces a staffer to go into the room and they find the Theracane under the bed. She comes downstairs and is still acting like a jerk being loud and making a scene. It’s not the Ritz, but Intercontinental is a pretty nice hotel. There are medical professionals and people I could easily imagine being doctors in the lobby. I apologized to the staff. We get in the car and my wife is yelling at me about something stupid about her suitcase and she’s slamming the door repeatedly. The police officer is driving behind us in a way that feels we’re escorted off the property like let’s make sure she goes away for good. So, title, has anybody had days like this where their spouse is acting like a total lunatic and you’re asking yourself why oh why did I marry this person? We’re seeing a couples therapist and I’m also seeing a therapist one on one at the request of my wife because she says I’ve created all these problems for us. I’ve had my doubts about that but I’m gone along w therapy to see if there’s anything I’m doing that’s inappropriate. But now I’m thinking wow after that display at Intercontinental I have confirmation that my wife is a total hothead even to other strangers and that it’s very likely that I’m correct in my belief that she creates most of the fights in our relationship. Anyways just wondering if anyone has dealt with a spouse like this or similar and you just wonder wtf was I smoking marrying this person? Appreciate you all. TC 205k lcol 5 yoe #depression #mentalhealth #burnout #marriage #relationships
Wow sorry you went through that. How long have you been married?
Five years, she always had a temper but it’s worse now. I’ve had a temper in the past so could empathize but it’s not an issue for me anymore.
Probably due to her condition. I’d address that and make her understand she’s gonna be fine
Well, she was right to yell at the hotel staff — they didn’t do their job. I support her tbh.
They found the theracane under the bed, I’d be more annoyed w them if it was in plain sight.
Op even under the bed isn’t acceptable. That’s literally the first place you look if something isn’t in plain sight. My guess is they just opened the door and since there wasn’t a huge arrow pointing to it they didn’t bother actually searching because they were thinking of the hundred other rooms to clean. That said your wife still went too far. A reasonable adult should pick and choose their battles and this didn’t seem like that big of a deal.
Runnnnnnn
In the past (grandfathers generation) women were treated way differently.
What were you trying to refer?
And your point here is?
Sh-it happens. Just got to deal with it.
Firstly, that 3 hour drive is why people don't live in the Midwest. Second, it looks like you guys are extremely incompatible. This happens a lot. I'm not sure I'm 100% compatible with my partner either. The only thing I know is that she drops everything for me if there is a medical/familial emergencies. This is important to me and lets me look beyond a lot of other annoying traits. Maybe you could try to find something like this about your wife and make peace with it?
Yes I can relate
Add a TLDR. And is this the first and only time you’ve encountered this behavior from her? Is it a one-off caused by some weird stress ?
Op, please don't add a TLDR. If you can't be bothered to read the full context, don't bother answering. That's my take anyway.
Tableau - fair point.