My wife is an EMT and works long, stressful hours. To help her cope with work, my wife and I often take edibles on the weekends. We've been doing this for a few years now, and it's always been a great way to relax and de-stress. But yesterday night I caught my 9th-grade daughter, smoking weed in our backyard. I couldn't believe that she would do something like that. I immediately confronted her and she started arguing with me. She said that she's a straight-A student and that she just smoked the weed to help her de-stress for a test coming up. I'm not sure what to do now. I'm angry but I also feel guilty. I know that I'm not perfect, and I've probably set a bad example for her. Any parenting advice??
How's your relationship with your daughter. Sounds like a good time to open up to build even more trust. Ask her questions about how she got it and stuff and don't be judgemental. Tell her how it made you feel. Obviously easier said than done though
Firstly, you gotta stop feeling guilty. You’re good. You have a job and are a full grown adult. What you choose to do is none of your kids business (I know it sounds harsh but that’s the truth). She’ll come to appreciate you even more when she’s an adult and realize why you did what you did if you help her now. Ok, so in terms of helping her, I’d say cut off her habit of weed smoking cold Turkey. Be strict, be impatient do whatever it takes. She’ll be resentful for the time being, will be mad at you and what not but don’t give in. That’s the best you can do for her. No 9th grader needs to be smoking pot and then justifying it when they’re caught. Kids need to have shame. PERIOD! I know it sounds harsh but it’s for her own benefit. If it makes you feel better, I have a niece in a very similar situation and my sister is very easy on her. She gives into all her demands and doesn’t discipline. My niece is getting worse by the day and I can tell that my sister is blind to her actions. I hope this problem gets solved for you and I pray your daughter stops this bad habit!
She will just find new ways to smoke weed in private when it’s cold turkey
Lol cold Turkey. This is not cigarettes. Your approach will not work. She will be adult soon and there’s so much information about weed nowadays that it’s not considered “bad” or “evil”. Yeah she’s 14 but its not the end of the word and it’s not going to make her a bad person. Stop acting like her whole life is going to end. Our parents did much worst in the 80s and they are totally fine
Your daughter makes a fair point
Should she be allowed to drive before she’s 16 too just because her parents do? She doesn’t make a fair point. Kids have rules applied to them because they are not adults.
You act like a teenager and get pissed when your teenager acts like you?
You should stop taking edibles if you want ur daughter to stop smoking. Otherwise you’re just a hypocrite in her eyes
Completely different. Weed is legal for adults. Not for kids. Adult having an edible: legal. Kid smoking weed: illegal.
I’m talking about from the kids perspective. How ridiculous would it be if your parent told you to stop smoking while they got high every weekend?
Tell her that she can smoke when she's legal. If she's stressed about studying for her test, pot's just gonna help her forget everything. I recommend that you shoehorn this talk in a positive and constructive manner since early use of weed is typically a result of some other underlying problems.
This is me, I forget everything when smoking and studying. There is some research that you need to be in the same state of mind you were when you were studying to remember. Let her know there are alternatives to help her relax like exercise. I used to have a good workout before each of my final exams, worked great.
Kids smoking weed is horrible for their brain development. You don't need a drug to calm down you need to focus on the root of the problem.
She’s good.
Just ask her why she feels the need to do that. Get to understand the root cause. Have material to speak with her about developing her brain and how she needs to focus on that before tearing away brain cells. Don’t lecture and don’t be condescending. Ask her if she’s thought about any of this before and present her with new information. Maybe make her do some kind of a report on it or research on the opposing side and see what she comes up with. The cold hard truth is that you can’t control anyone’s actions even your daughters. The fact that she did it at home instead of somewhere else she could be more vulnerable is a good thing. Weed isn’t the end of the world i would be far more concerned as a parent if she was drinking. However, weed is for adults, one thing my mom said to me as a teen that stuck with me is that as a child or teenager I had to earn the right to do some things. If I did them all prematurely there’s not as much to look forward to as an adult with total free will.
It doesn't work. All kids think they are much more smarter than parents. The only thing that will work is authority and discipline.
Not true apple, you sound like a bad parent. I smoked weed in high school rebelliously through all the discipline and groundings. Reasoning and talking like an individual is the only thing that convinced me to give it up.