Chinese people of blind, how much $ should I give to my parents?

7d 113 Comments

I'm Chinese and fresh out of college. In my culture giving money to parents is expected. However I grew up in America and so I am not familiar with specifics and need some opinions on what's expected (Serious)

I want to save for early retirement but also want to take care of my parents. I would like to give $500 a month but I am worried it will seem too stingy since my parents know how much I make.

TC 195k
Parents TC 70k

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TOP 113 Comments
  • General Motors munna
    Man I hate collective cultures. You’re an American now. Give $0 or you’re beta
    7d 11
    • Salesforce mazda
      ^^ that wasn’t the point, dunce 🤣
      7d
    • Thankfully having shit parents doesn't make a culture terrible. Otherwise every culture would be shit given morons exist in every culture
      7d
    • LinkedIn romba
      I bet you wouldn’t hate collective culture when you’re on the receiving end — as a student when your parents pay for your college or as an older person when you’re being taken care of than just being old and alone!
      6d
    • Oracle pzd
      Paying for kid's education is not the same - I expect that to be paid forward. My parents paid for mine and I will pay for my son's. As a father, it's my duty to prepare my son for the world, to the best of my ability.
      6d
    • LinkedIn romba
      No, paying for kids, even adult children, education is way more common in Asian cultures, which makes a dent on the parents retirement plans. So it’s reasonable that Asian parents are more dependent on their kids!
      6d
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Medallia
      Every culture has some positives and negatives. I’m not sure why romba’s so salty towards Indian culture.
      6d
    • LinkedIn romba
      I’m Indian. Just being honest that Indian culture is very primitive and superficial compared to western cultures
      6d
    • What the society considers primitive becomes popular in future and vice versa. I think taking responsibility of parents is great, if nothing else at least take their financial responsibility.
      6d
    • LinkedIn romba
      I wasn’t referring to taking care of parents. Overall Indian culture is medieval
      6d
    • That is a very vague statement. Culture includes a lot of things including family, community, social behavior, food, celebrations and religion etc. Which aspect do you think is medieval and primitive that is applicable to this discussion?
      6d
  • Google derpidoo
    Wait what? Most of my friends are Chinese and I've never heard of that. My Chinese wife certainly doesn't.

    Most of my Chinese friends actually had the reverse problem: their parents kept paying or co-signing for things after they were adults.

    Is this a subculture?
    7d 3
    • New / Mktg XAHe86
      It's pretty common in asia (Korea and Japan too). It's like a natural duty of a person to support / serve parents after starting to earn $.
      7d
    • Twitch have
      No not common in Korea or Japan unless they are aging parents with dementia or something
      7d
    • LinkedIn / Design
      uxgod

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      uxgodmore
      @derpidoo You have wealthy friends $$$$
      6d
  • PayPal @zx
    It’s not about being American or Asian. If your parents paid for your tuitions, consider that as a loan and pay back that amount..
    7d 4
    • Microsoft yWqK01
      Might as well pay them for:
      1. All your hospitalization expenses.
      2. Hospital expenses when you were born.
      3. Your mother for letting out her womb to host you for 9 months.
      4. Your toys and entertainment.
      5. Your mother for being a baby sitter to you.
      6. Night allowances for your parents when they were awake trying to make you sleep.

      You can never pay back your parents.
      7d
    • Medallia
      Great response!
      7d
    • Apple pcWg70
      While I do appreciate parents do that, but it's their duty if they decide to have a kid. They cannot give birth and throw away the kid.
      7d
    • Microsoft yWqK01
      Yeah and it's your duty to take care of your parents when they no longer take care of themselves. You cannot leave them to die. Goes both ways.
      7d
  • Uber VdbF34
    I would start by paying for some of their bills instead of giving flat $ if you can help it. For a few reasons:

    1) It feels more meaningful as you take aspects of their expenses off their plate, since you're also investing in understanding what are their lifestyle expenses in the first place
    2) You'll develop a better sense of how much things cost as a family vs individual. You can then work your way toward each tier of expenses as a goal as your career progresses. ie. take on phone bill, then after promotion start taking on electricity and gas, then half their rent or mortgage, etc.
    3) You might even discover surprise ways to cut costs if your family is overpaying on things -- like merging their phone plan into a family plan that you fully cover instead of maintaining two separate ones

    You're a good child and know your family loves you for wanting to take care of them :) Good luck!
    7d 0
  • WeWork KIdN76
    Downvoting this entire thread. OP you shameful, if you asking a the internet for filial piety advice then you are already in too much debt.
    Pay us as well
    7d 0
  • Amazon fmjfn
    I don't think it's obligatory in Chinese culture. What is obligatory is to look after family members who are in need. If they are not in need you do not have to send money, just come home often and bring nice gifts.

    If your parents enjoy a good quality of life nothing is owed. If they are struggling to get by and you can help then you should help. Not because you are repaying them, but just because they are family and you can help.
    7d 0
  • SAP / IT san jose2
    Why all relationships these days are just agreements. Friendship, marriage and now this, parent child relationship. Tech is rich in money and poor by heart.
    7d 0
  • Zume ay7fj3n
    Damn you all spoiled kids, no sence of appreciation to parents. They raised you for at least 18 years and loved you with all their hearts, and you are thinking of negotiating with them and hiding your income from them? Shame on you. Any money you give them worth nothing if it wasn't truely from heart. I hope your children does the same to you. Especially when you are old and longly.
    7d 0
  • OP give as much as u r comfortable with or as much as u think they need to make their lives better reasonably.
    This range can be 0 - ♾

    No one else can answer this question for u.

    Only thing I would say is don't feel an obligation to do so.
    7d 0

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