Since joining corporate life past year, my confidence seems to have taken a hit. I have alternate waves of feeling confident vs feeling like I should live in a box. I meet very selected group of people who I have known for long and feel comfortablle with. I quit going to office happy hours entirely. Male. 23. Have an accent. Any tips? I wear good new clothes because that helps me with some confidence.
Recognize that you're a POS getting paid big dollars. You have a long way to go.
this is a normal part of the process. People call this “impostor syndrome”, feeling like you don’t belong in the company of smart people making a lot of money. Honestly I listened to rap (Jay-Z specifically) when I first started to give me a little confidence/ego boost. Something about reciting lyrics saying that you’re “the best” will trick your brain into feeling better about itself. I listened to that music because I was intimidated when I was working on the codebase, always second-guessing myself while also learning the programming language. Over time I got more comfortable with it and I’m still at the same company 5 years later. The reason why the senior people are senior is either: 1. They’ve written most of the codebase themselves, so they know how everything works, or 2. They’ve seen and touched so many projects that they know how those projects are organized and what patterns to expect in the code I know you meant your confidence in a social setting, but you can draw analogies between technical and social skills. Hope this helps
You need a gang. People who like to hang out with you and people who you like to hang out with. You may be missing your old supportive system.
Fail fast. Go out and make mistakes. No one cares after your first couple of awkward moments.