Just broke up and got back to dating app. I've a decent number of matches but the amount of response from any of them is underwhelming. What should I do to get them to first dates? This is in bay area
Engaging, light questions or something witty from their profile. Lead it into their favorite things to do whether it’s see a movie or their favorite cuisine or drink. Then suggest a place, ask when they are free, get their number to take them off the app, text the night before the date to confirm and show that you are proactive. Meet, do not talk about your previous relationship as tempting as it sounds. Keep the first date light. 1.5 hours max time spent and $100 max budget. You are welcome
This is a good advice. How many interactions/days would you suggest to go from match to date discussion? Is it 2-3 witty chats/days and getting to the point ?
It depends, sometimes I get them off the app after 1-2 texts. Others it takes a couple days. My rule of thumb is this: If she sends more than 3-4 lines of text to your replies, she is likely engaged by you and wants you to ask her out. Suggest a place and get her number asap, schedule a date within the week. If the date is more than 3 days away, text her here and there (not too much nor too little) on her number to keep her away from swiping. If she is taking a day or two to reply to your message or is very short with replies, she likely has other prospects and is keeping you as a back up option. This is even more crucial, you have to throw a Hail Mary and stand out from other guys she’s chatting with, which can include doing a bit of internet search on her to find her socials. Usually LinkedIn is a good spot for me to gather her interest and her career and spin a question very nonchalantly about it to get her talking more. Once you see a change in her responses, suggest a place for a date, follow the formula
Post your TC, that will get you some attention.
Is the issue not getting first responses or first responses not conveying in to date ? Getting matches in Bay Area is certainly a positive thing for a male .
Online dating is a bad dating market in general, and the negatives are greatly exacerbated in the Bay with: 1) Significantly worse male to female ratio 2) The people who the Bay attracts (optimizers) 3) Lack of social skills of aforementioned people It’s not you, or maybe it is you, but it’s really just a numbers game out here.
1) be attractive 2) don’t be unattractive
🍷 women ?
One reason: Responses are underwhelming because those girls are afraid that since you work at meta you will have so many matches and you will just waste their time. So they avoid to meet you unless you saw that you are really interested in her only.
Cope
Nothing you can do. It’s just a statistical reality that you will not match with someone acceptable unless you are in the top 5% of men. Or if you are outside the top 15% of women, you’ll keep getting pumped and dumped because you’ll continue matching with men out of your league (unless you’re extremely smart and can see through the smoke screen choices)
It’s like interview applications…a numbers game. Don’t talk over text so much because you’re just another faceless AI on their phone. Use minimal number of lines to get phone number to set up a date.
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