Dating for Marriage is Hard
Even as a girl! I thought girls (in general) have an easier time on dating apps (and we do, in terms of getting matches and hookups) — but not if you are looking for someone to get married to. Apart from the usual weirdos, you have: Guys caring about “caste”, even while living in the U.S. 😭 Guys having a problem with me eating beef (like what?! I don’t have a problem with you eating chicken) 😭 Guys acting like TC 200k is a big deal 😭 Guys acting like having an approved I-140 makes them more attractive (like stfu, I have a whole-ass green card) 😭 I feel that my requirements are very reasonable: I don’t care about the caste/religion, but I expect that the guy earns around as much as I do, and is okay to support my parents in their old age (as, of course, I will support his). Others — how are you going about finding a match, while living in the U.S.? I tried the arranged marraige route too, but ended up meeting similar guys. TC 400k, YoE 5
> Guys acting like TC 200k is a big deal 😭 That’s toxic AF on your part if you’re like this. Unless you meant it differently.
By that I meant: stop bragging about that 200k. If you’re living in the bay area, it’s really not that impressive, so stop acting as if that makes you the greatest man on earth.
> If you’re living in the bay area, it’s really not that impressive, so stop acting as if that makes you the greatest man on earth. You’re quite toxic. If you were proud of your income and I met you I wouldn’t judge you for it. People come from different backgrounds. Some folks come from very poor families, and they are the first to ever earn 6 figures. It’s okay to be proud of it. Why be toxic about it?
Why not keep dating for hookups?
I want to settle down, start a family.
Why? What changed?
What percent of guys do you think make around 400k? In the 25-35 age bracket that's essentially top 1 percent income.
Most Indian guys I know would run away after reading your post.
Good riddance
Yep, would run. It wouldn't work anyway. I believe in religion, so do millions of Americans. Living in US doesn't mean I have to give up religion. After 8 years I earn 300, which might seem less but not going to fuck up my mental health chasing TC
Sorry but this is not going to work out for you if you are not super pretty.
Worst case I can stay single for life 🤷♀️ but would prefer not to
Ya. Get rid of that “he needs to make around the same as me” requirement. It won’t help you. And staying single won’t help you after a decade. So settle down.
You just wanted to flex your TC, isn't it? As for Microsoft, I really even doubt the authentic of your TC and yoe. Most principal don't earn that.
I’m not at MSFT any more. And no — why would I flex 400k, that too, to a bunch of people who will never know who I am?
@OP - Does your name start with an ‘A’ ?
Why do you want an Indian when you don’t care about caste/religion? Do you care about origin? Why? Quick glance at your post shows your head weight.
No, I don’t care if they are not Indian. Where did I say that? I just happened to go on dates with mostly Indians.
Go with non Indians. They judge you the same way you are judging others. Make a post again
Just like you have your requirements, they have theirs. I’m guessing you’re particular about Indian, because if not I find it hard to believe you haven’t met anyone of any other ethnicity who doesn’t care about beef/caste/religion. You judge them for having lower TC than you, and then hate on them for judging you for beef? Pot-kettle much?
I’m not “judging” them based on low TC. But I am judging if they feel the need to brag about that TC and act like they’re the king for that 200k.
Well op you mentioned they should earn atleast as much as you. Doesn’t seem like you want to enjoy their company as much as their money being added even though you already have a good salary. So if they are being small too, seems fair.
I am a woman and gave up on marriage. I was facing something similar when I was looking for guys. They were sending interests on sites but then make caste or kundali excuse to not move ahead. I was open to any caste and we don’t believe in kundali matching. I am a vegetarian and was ok with guys eating non-veg outside, but I would say that I wouldn’t be able to cook for them.. initially that would all be ok, but after few dates they would start complaining about how they aren’t happy with me not eating non-veg with them. I was asked a lot about when is my GC priority date since guys who came to US after me would get their GC earlier based on it. I wasn’t looking for US citizen or didn’t knew asking for priority date is an important question in marriage, so was shocked and surprised. I earn around $150k which was also an issue for some guys. Two guys told me to not stay in touch with my family after marriage… one of them had bad experience from girls side in his past relationships and other wanted someone who only looks after his family and sacrifices her life. He even told me that he expects his wife to cook fresh breakfast and lunch in morning, go to work, come home and cleans the house everyday and cook dinner along with working in tech earning big fat $$$. This guy is in his late 30’s and has unrealistic expectations. Marry only if you find the right match and don’t settle. Adjustments are needed in relationships, but has to be both sided. No one, whether guy or girl should become a door mat for the sake of marriage.
Maybe try non Indians. This sounds rather horrible.
Thing is although it may be hard/horrible experience to find a good indian dude, but settling with a non indian guy arguably be even worse experience if you’re looking for lifelong commitment.
Don't date indians 😂🤣 I am an Indian and if I were looking to date someone with the intention of getting married I wouldn't date someone who eats beef. It's my religious belief of not eating beef which does not make me a weirdo TBH, it's just my personal choice
Yeah, the caste and visa ones are specific to Indians 🤣
Most Indians’ belief in Hinduism begins and ends with “not eating beef”. Be honest with yourself, it’s not a religious thing, it’s more of an inhibition. Just because you’re never eaten it, you are reluctant to try it. I am an atheist from a Hindu background, my loosely-believing Hindu parents eat beef (and pork, etc.) occasionally and never stopped me from eating beef or filled my head with religious superstitions and bullshit.