I think my spouse has minor form of OCD. We have to wash everything that comes to this house. If we have a guest which is a rare case we need to clean every thing that they touch. All because of germs. We use hand sanitizer whenever we want to eat out. I lived with this person for 8 years and we always argued on this problem. He washes his hands for 20 seconds each time when touches some thing like onion or dirty dishes. We had a child recently and he promised as always that he will do less of hands washing. Whenever I call for his help for emergency situations with the baby he says I am coming and start to wash his hands. Things are a bit better now but he tends to regress and do the same and I have to watch him like an eagle each time to give him notice to not to over washing and to stop giving me order on how to do dishes or cook or clean the house. His attitude makes me to be an angry person to shout at him each time he starts this and I use bad words when talking to him because I can't change him and he keeps repeating it and I feel powerless so I open my mouth :( he gets upset by my behavior. he refuses to go to therapy saying all people in us are dirty and nobody believe in me. He keeps reading health related news like someone got killed by a dog that licked him and basically germs are eveywhere and you should listen to me. His mother is kind of the same but a bit better but when I got married I thought they are doing this because the mother is a nurse and he has doctorate degree so they know better than my family and indeed we should be more careful to not to get sick.
My family have no idea but recently they got a feeling that he has ocd.. I don't know how to continue. His family knew and everytime I brought this up they told him to not to do but he doesnt listen.
Going together makes it a “we have a problem” rather than “you are the problem”.