I know I will get a lot of flak for writing this but this thing is hurting me a lot and hence I am trying to seek help. So most of my friends interned this summer at big firms like Google, FB , Stripe and other big firms while I unfortunately could only end up at Amazon (yes the bar is low). And now in my senior year they have gotten return offers with $220k+ TC and they often brag about how they are negotiating with the recruiters and so on. I on other hand only have this $160k non-negotiable offer from Amazon. Most of the big firms are not hiring new grads this fall so I am almost guaranteed to be stuck at Amazon. But looking at my friends and their sky high offers makes me Jealous, and they also perhaps think of me as an inferior human. Mind you they are really nice people but you can see that they are now a lot more confident and enjoy the superiority complex. So how do I get over this? Also if you have nothing positive to comment that may help me then stay away from this post. #depression #mentalhealth #amazon #facebook #stripe #Google
Give it a year on the job and you’ll realize how sad bragging about where you work is
I mean they will be a lot more happier than I am for sure.
No, that’s up to you. I make significantly less than $160K right now and I am incredibly happy. I know people who make way less than me who are even happier. You’re placing these limitations on yourself
Are they really your friends if the think of you as an “inferior” human
I mean that's human nature. Can't blame it on them.
No, it is not human nature. You need new life and friends. There will always be someone with higher tc, prettier girlfriend, bigger dick... if you need an inferiority complex, you can always pick a reason. This is not friendship
Very few get 220K return offers unless they use those inflated unicorn stock price to calculate
Not really. Almost all my friends have 200k+ TC. This includes sign on but excludes stock appreciation. I try not to think about stock appreciation they will enjoy while I will get hammered by Amazon's TCT model.
Salesforce offered 200+ TC without including sign-on. OP, there will always be better offers. Comparison is a thief of joy.
Youll be unhappy regardless of yout TC with this mentality. There will always be people better than you are or luckier. You seem to have weak personality. You seek validation only by comparison, deep down you feel inferior.
But isn't that what's life about? Trying to be a better version of yourself. Trying to compete with others and be at their level and perhaps even beat them some day.
Life is what u make it to be. If you want to be miserable by constantly comparing, then yes you can live like that too.
Do you guys share your tc openly with all your friends? Are they really showing signs of superiority complex or do you just feel that way? If they really are making you feel terrible any your tc, then yes id suggest making some new friends who don't put money in front of everything. If its just your own perspective, then rejoice with them that they are doing well, and use it as motivation to do better if that's what you want to do!
It's just my perspective. They do overlook me sometimes but I try hard to not feel hurt when they talk about how they negotiated their sign on with competing offers and so on.
Yea I can understand it doesn't feel good when it seems like you're doing the same work, but you're getting the short end of the stick. But cheer up! Life doesn't end here! You're young and have so much potential! If you want to change it, you can study more, and keep trying at other companies! When I first started in my career, I've had friends and coworkers who was at the same "level" as me but was making alot more... Fast forward now, I'm definitely making a good amount more than them. For my real friends I was happy for them when they were making more, and they are happy for me that I am going well too. But it's also cause we don't place everything on salary.... We think more about food lololol Also, try making some friends outside of tech. You'll see how blessed you are with a 6 figure salary straight out of college!!
If TC is something that your friends look at i would say they are not real friends
Absolutely not. They don't say anything on my face and are the same as before. But honestly people do change when they get power, money and fame even though their behavior towards you hasn't changed.
Power, money and fame over a 60k difference? Please tell me you're trolling
I started at 50k (in NYC) as a new grad, doing product at an agency. Happiness is all about perspective.
True. No doubt. It's just that I have been with my friends since freshman year and I know for a fact that I am no worse than they are but the fact that they are making almost $60-80k more than me does make me feel a little bad.
Should IBM feel bad when they started $110K behind you? Should they feel inferior? After all, you said it earlier. Should I feel inferior since I make less than half of your offer? Because right now I feel significantly happier than you and I make way less. Evidence that this is all on you
Life is a marathon not a sprint
To think that you will be poor at $160K with relatively no experience shows a lack of perspective. Think about how incredible that salary is, for starters. Life is a long game
I am not saying I am poor as such its just that looking at my friends and where they work and how successful they have become makes me feel a little poor. But yeah you rightly pointed out life is a long game.
Happy people are happy at 80k. Depressed folks like you find it hard to cope with 160k. When you reach 220k level, you'll find teammates or someone else you will end up comparing yourself with. There is no end to this kind of destructive thinking. You need to get professional help, dude.