Desperate for Salvation from Abusive Manager at Facebook
Hi Community at Blind, I'm at your mercy, please hear me out. Ever since entering Facebook, I've began having disturbingly negative thoughts because of the stress from work. I maintain my PSC, but my manager weaponizes any and all feedback from anyone about me and verbally abuses me in closed-doors weekly 1 on 1 sessions. My team's director blockades and pressures down any upward feedback because she's too afraid it'll make her look bad. I also cannot report this to HR because sneaking a voice recording is illegal in California. I try to keep smiling during all virtual meetings (since we're all working remote now) because the culture forbids negativity, but I'm starting to become emotionally numb and question my own sanity. The restless nights are becoming more frequent and small mistakes are piling up here and there where I have to then spend more time fixing things up, thus, causing less rest hours. The vicious cycle repeats all over on a weekly basis where my manager has increasingly more opportunities to capitalize the verbal abuse sessions on my inability to maintain the quality of work. I try to pretend everything is okay during the weekend when I talk to my mom and dad overseas because I want them to have the peace of mind. But then I always cry immediately after the calls because everything is not actually okay. I do the best I can to stay here because I want them to be proud, to pay my debt to everything I owe them by working at a company that they perceive with worldly impact. Blind, I know I'm just a random stranger and not even your family member, but please..... I'm at your mercy and is in desperately need of help to exit this nightmare at Facebook..... And finally, paying my tax to the community..... Location: California Role: Analytics (SQL/R/Python) TC: $180k #facebook #reddit #wing #google #youtube #tencent #unity #zoom #linkedin #salesforce #microsoft #twitter #apple
Wow. I feel bad for you. I hope everything works out for you. Upvoting for visibility.
Go find another place. That’s the best way out.
1. Get on offer. 2. Jump the ship giving one day notice. 3. Take a holiday before starting your new job
Swap steps 2 and 3.
@google i think its ok to loose few $$ and take an early holiday. why go back to a place and people you don't like and give a chance to loose your calm after a nice holiday. ☮️ > 🤑
Keep a journal. Detail what you remember and exact quotes. Track all your wins and what that meant for the team. Track your loses as well. Usually even low performers do significantly more good for a company than harm, so it is good to keep that balance sheet. It sounds like you could be being managed out (your boss doesn't want to/can't fire you but wants you gone). So keep notes and hold on. After a month of notes go to hr. Say it started when ever it did but you only started taking notes recently on advice of counsel. Request a transfer at that time. You should also consider finding a new job. I can't tell you how much your individual manager makes a different. If you can leverage your current position into a new job either in Facebook or elsewhere go do it. You will be infinitely happier. Also, seriously consider contacting a lawyer. Since options are involved it's always good to make sure that you protect your upside and if you are being forced out before your cliff, you have a real case to keep some of that stock.
Hi, thank you for advice I'm already crying really hard but also tried really hard not to make grammar mistakes in post, but your genuine advice is making me cry non-stop
Hey, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just remember, this is just a job, you can quit at any time and all of these issues will immediately vanish. You could also explore transferring internally to a different team. Considering you’re employed by Facebook, you have desirable skills that any other company is looking for. I would ask myself, “is this job worth the mental stress it’s creating?” I hope this helps in some way, I wish you the best!
I feel you... cant you take a long leave?
Such a numbing thing to say, can't you help op in other ways being in the same company?
Wtf what power do you think they have? We are cogs in the machine
I’m really sorry to hear that! I’ve had experiences like that and I echo others-find another position and get out! Even if it’s lower comp, it’s worth the sanity. If you’re comfortable, could you share your team via DM? I’m interviewing with FB as an analyst right now but if I get an offer, I want to make sure the culture is good.
Hi, I helped you look because I don't want anyone to ever experience the pain I'm going through There are currently 6 analyst positions hiring in California, outside of HQ. 1 of them I know is a good team. Good luck
Thanks, I really appreciate it. I think this position would be in HQ or in SF. Hopefully it’s not a bad team. I hope you’re able to find something good with another team or at another company. When I left my first job, I was so relieved! I didn’t even realize how bad the environment was. Hang in there! I know it’s a lot of work to get another gig but it will be worth it. Sending you good wishes!
Hey! This is really tough to read because no one wants to be in such a bad position and I'm sorry you have to be and don't have the right support at work. Because you're already at FB, I wouldn't imagine it being too hard to switch to another FAANG or even just going out of that circle and exploring new opportunities. Never feel like you can't just up and give your notice if the environment is effecting your mental health that much. A lot of the other comments have mentioned it too but you definitely have the freedom to leave and find a better opportunity. Best of luck friend and here's hoping that your situation gets better. If you're interested at all in TTD, shoot me a DM.
Hi, thank you for giving a helping hand when I'm at my absolute bottom - it means a lot, and you're potentially changing my life I'll very seriously consider reaching out in the next few days (on the weekend)
Sounds good... Doesn't have to just be about the job... Happy to just talk things out too :)
Don’t bother with HR, they are here to protect the company, not you. just switch team or company. It’s not worth wasting time with shitty management. Also try daily meditation, that might a little bit while you transition out of the shit hole.
Very sorry to hear this. Can you raise a HR complaint against this? This doesn’t seem right at all. Please document all your conversations/msgs and definitely make yourself heard. I once did the mistake of letting such shit go and in the end suffered a lot! Please take care