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Got assaulted in subway
This all started this last July. The local police called me at 4 in the morning. My brother (26M) was downtown having a drug fueled freak out and the police asked me to buy him an eighty dollar cab to my apartment. My brother was initially living a city over from mine. Alot of my family, uncles and aunts live in the city my brother was in. I have a supportive and loving family there. They got my brother a good job when he first moved there a year ago. He had multiple family homes to visit and stay at until he saved up enough to get his own place. My point is he had all the support a young man could of had moving to the city. Within about half a year my brother picked up sniffing drugs he'd get from the streets. Meth, crack, coke, I'm assuming it didn't matter too much which. He managed to spend every dollar he made at a full time job with no bills on getting completely wrecked. He ended up burning bridges with most of the family there by not respecting their homes. Making a gross mess everywhere he stayed or being high and scaring people with his behavior. Talking to himself, being very emotional. He lost the job uncle got for him in a union job because he was using the break room to roll joints and listen to music. So he ends up in my city mid July. Does a bunch of meth in the middle of the night and has a freak out that led to him staying with me for a week. My brother stays at my and my roommates apartment for a week after the downtown freakout. During the week he has a few rather lucid and aware moments, mixed with some of the most delusional freaked out insane behavior I've ever seen from my brother. My roommate and I can't handle it after a solid seven days. I'm emotionally exhausted. My brother has accused me of stealing from him, my job, my apartment building. He's threatened to call the police on me because I try and get him to come to the hospital with me. He's tried to pick fights. I reach out and our father offers my brother a place to stay as my roommate has had enough and frankly so have I. I buy a bus ticket for my brother home and he's been staying with dad since late November. Now my poor father has had enough. My brother has decided being emotionally mentally and physically abusive to our father is acceptable. Every couple days now I talk with dad and it's either a good day where my brother is okay and admitting he needs professional help, or a more common bad day where my brother is cruel and says horrible things to our father. I'm so tired of waking up and fearing for my families well being. My brother obviously needs help but he won't go willingly. I live in San Jose and am going to look into what can be done to get my brother to get help as he won't do it on his own. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this story but it's been the heaviest weight in my life all year. I have zero experience in this and would appreciate any advice or support that I can find. Thank you
Just don’t lose your mental health over your bro. Sometimes you just can’t play a protective bro role. Let him lead his life the way he wants to lead.
Rehab
It’s ok to let some people go. I know I it’s hard, but he made his choices.
It looks like Santa Clara County has opted in to Laura’s Law. You should looked into a court-ordered commitment for your brother. Google it.
Put him under rehabilitation ASAP.
If he could afford it.
There are foundations they can get help from Live Free 999 Foundation: https://livefree999.org/about-us/
Get in touch with the local rehab facility and see if they can help. If you cannot talk to them directly then email them and inform them of the situation. He has to be in rehab.
Call the police on him. Press charges. Leave him in jail. Seek family help with a Christian counselor for the next steps.
That sucks dude. I’ve known several people that are similarly fucked up. There’s nothing you can do. Only himself and medical professionals can help him. Sadly it takes an act of god to get someone forced into treatment here
I went through a similar situation with my brother. Unfortunately, regardless of how much everyone was trying to help, my brother was always choosing drugs instead of getting help. Eventually, all the people got tired of dealing with his mess and so he basically became homeless. He managed to somehow get himself to a slightly better state (rarely under influence), but he is still somewhat homeless (not sure exactly where he lives now. At some point he was sleeping in his broken truck) My advice is to help him only if he wants help. Otherwise prioritize your family's health. It's a very painful choice, but it's better than making everyone suffer on all the levels(financially due to expensive addiction, mentally due to dealing with all the daily drama and even physically due to stress and other potential events). I wish you all the best
You must have a professional intervention with your brother. If you do not, your life is over and you will lose everything as will everyone in your family. The question is simple: will everyone willingly lose everything to his drug addiction OR will they facilitate an intervention with rehab.
Why would OP's life be over and why would he and everyone in his family lose everything? I'm not following. Before it got to that point they probably would have just kicked him out of their house and completely cut him off
Worst case scenario: Op’s brother continues stealing or dealing drugs out of his or a family members house… and a drug raid by police winds up going badly and either Op or parents get shot and killed in the crossfire. When you look at the worst case scenario outcome, it’s easier to decide what you should do. “Hoping for the best outcome” is no way to defensively plan and prepare for a drug addicts impact upon yourself or your parents. Yes, I have seen the worst actually happen because of drug addicts. Yes, I have seen swat tear up someone’s house - and NO swat doesn’t have to pay to repair anything, it’s on the homeowner.