Do you ever get overwhelmed by anxiety?
I know I am privileged, I know I am the top 10% with my six-figure salary, and I should be happy with what I have. But I feel so much anxiety about myself whether I will be able to survive this competition. Often I feel like all my colleagues are smarter, more capable, and ahead of me. I can't sleep at night and have nightmares about making stupid decisions or getting fired. Has anyone gone through this? What should I do?
You'd be amazed how many of your colleagues feel the same way. Google "imposter syndrome". When I was at MS, there was once a lunchtime speaker on imposter syndrome - the auditorium was packed, and when the speaker asked for a show of hands for who felt like they didn't belong, weren't good enough and would be found out at some point, almost every hand in the room went up.
Know all your strengths and play by it. If you are already at the top 10%, that's because of your strengths. And as you move towards top 1%, the funnel becomes narrower and you should keep leveraging your strengths and collaborate/partner with others to overcome your weakness. That's what a leader would do.
It’s a very natural feeling. Morgan Stanley generally has this culture where everyone is working long hours and a lot of them are very smart too. This is just the imposter syndrome that you are feeling, but just remind yourself that you were hired here too because there was something special in you . If you don’t feel smart enough, work harder and with practice, you will get there.
Pervasive feeling through out our industry. Thinking about the past 10 years and how the world has totally changed and then remembering I have 30 more years till I retire gives me horrible anxiety. It’s only going to get more competitive
Not to the extent of having insomnia over this (although I do have one for other reasons) but yes I feel you - constant anxiety about falling behind or being surrounded by smarter colleagues. Apparently a pervasive symptom across the board. Find motivation to better yourself and reflect upon yourself to identify areas you think you need to be better at. And take action to address that weakness through training, certifications, etc. But don't push yourself too hard and always remember than nothing is worth losing your health over.
I am sorry you are going through this. Take a step back and understand that there’s always going to be someone better than you. Let those thoughts go; don’t pay attention to them. Maybe meditating for few mins might help? Stressed from competition will burn you out eventually. I suggest maybe take some days off to reflect, do something you enjoy, and then start back up.