I’ve been feeling like utter shit for a long time. I followed the standard advice of lifting heavy, doing hard workouts every day, getting more sleep, eating better, meditating, blah blah blah thinking it would fix all the dark and sad feelings inside but...nothing worked. I’ll hang out with my friends and try to talk about why I feel like shit and their response is basically “damn bro that sucks man”. I’m physically very fit but mentally feel like I’m running on autopilot and find no joy in anything and have nothing to look forward to. Therapy is a last resort but if it’ll fix everything then I’ll go for it.
Medication works the best. Lexapro helped me cope with anxiety and curve panic attacks. I tried the therapy thing but meh. I’ve never really gotten much from social interactions or speaking about my feelings.
You aren't the only, I'm in a similar situation, have a few friends but don't feel like talking about my feelings with anyone unless drunk. Will try therapy in hopes it'll do something. Good luck dude
Thank you good luck to you as well
Marriage therapy is pretty valid
Therapy isn't a last resort. It's a first resort. It's hard sharing your problems with a stranger but if you're willing to put the work in and feel uncomfortable it can change your life. Discomfort = growth
What's your diet like
I’m doing intermittent fasting so my main meals are lunch and dinner. Those meals consist of a protein (chicken breast/salmon/rib eye steak), carbs (sweet potatoes/brown rice), and vegetables (raw broccoli/mushrooms/asparagus/spinach). For snacks I eat bananas, almonds, oatmeal, and drink protein shakes. Lately I’ve been cutting down on meat and eating more salads. I also drink two small cups of coffee per day, no cream or sugar.
Interesting I expected you to say something like being vegan. Keep up those rib eyes those are good for you! Do you feel like you have a purpose in life? I've been working night and day trying to get into FAANG and so far things are going great. I'm working my ass off but I feel fulfilled. The struggle is good and I can feel it. Maybe you need some reason to get up in the morning
Go for it. It has helped many, including my partner. Please be patient to find a therapist that works for you. It’s not a one size fits all. Also plz be open to medication if needed. There’s a lot of good medication out there to help with common problems like depression and anxiety. And they work quite well.
Hey I'm so sorry that you're not receiving the support you need from friends. Not saying they're not good friends, but not everyone is equipped with the tools and patience to support. In addition, I've had many male friends telling me female is much better to talk about things with cuz their guy friends' normal response is just like what you received. Anyway... What I'm trying to get at is a good therapist really helps, but you need to be willing to open up and listen as well. Things don't always make sense right away, but as you digest the info and experience more life events, it's helpful. Good luck! Talk to your HR about employee assistance program, usually you get free counseling for 3-6 sessions before having to pay with or without insurance.
It works. If you don't connect well with your first therapist, find a second one. Don't give up unless you've tried a few. One piece of advice though - have an exit plan i.e. just like going to a doctor for a physical ailment where you get treated and then get on with life, make sure you don't become so dependent on therapy that you need it life long. IMHO, that's no way to live. Recently heard on the Tim Ferris podcast about someone who's been seeing a therapist for 30years - that's insane.
Whoa.... That is insane to see a therapist for 30 years. If I were the therapist, I may feel like I need to stop charging them and just be their friend... wow. ( I know I'm blurring the lines here but when you know someone that well....)
If you need another recommendation for therapist and you're in California, lmk!
Sorry to hear this. If you find a therapist that you gel with, it works completely. If you and your therapist don’t gel, it is useless. Many therapists will recommend you shop around because of this. I have an excellent therapist that I gel with. He does virtual as well. I can recommend you if you DM me. One of the major reasons for feeling like this is being lonely, even if you have people physically around you. You need to establish true friendships with your significant other and/or friends rather than superficial ones. One thing that helped me was Sam-e. Check it out.
Thank you for the insight. I’ll DM you for that recommendation. You hit the nail on the head. Over the past year I’ve gotten dumped, laid off, and my told by my parents that I’m a failure and a disappointment. My friends are great but they’re not good with discussing their feelings and this kind of emotional stuff. So yes, I do feel extremely alone in trying to untangle these feelings of being wronged by so many people.
I think I picked up on something... your parents sound at least mildly toxic (if not moreso) which would affect both your choice in partners (were they healthy?) and your own behaviors (or the lack thereof) in a relationship. Imago Therapy comes highly recommended for that. As for being laid off, you seem to take it very personal, whereas it may have been "just business". There's a lot to be said for doing the post mortem on all these events, figuring out if there's anything that you can rebuild into a positive change (behavior changes, maybe realizing you dodged a bullet, realizing how untrustworthy or abusive someone was, etc.). It sounds like a lot of people and situations have let you down, and you have ruled out that the low feelings are physiological in any way (good experimentation and reasoning, btw). I hope that Intuit's therapist can help you right off the bat. I should note that sometimes people find that different therapists can help unlock different aspects, so if you find after a while that you extracted all the help you can out of one therapist, sometimes there's another one out there that can take you even a step further. One tip on using therapists- I would highly recommend keeping a journal in tandem, not only because writing is cathartic, but sometimes some great epiphanies come while doing it. I had some great realizations come to me, that, once shared with a therapist, really lit the way forward for both of us. Best of luck to you. Great therapists are worth their weight in gold - I hope you find a really good one soon, and get back on your happy feet ;)