I make $170K salary + $80K/yr RSU. BF makes $100K salary. We’ve been together for 3 years and looking at moving. On paper, if we do a “gross total comp ratio” approach to rent on a Bay Area $3500/mo Apartment, he pays $921 and I pay $2,579. Which TBH doesn’t sit well with me. Anyone who’s been on $150K+ salary knows that after retirement, premiums, income tax on RSUs, and taxes, you sure don’t make anywhere near your gross income. BUT - I’ve also been at the <$100K income scale for most of my life and know that there isn’t much buying power leftover for that income bracket either. Would it be more fair to do a ratio off of net income? I trust and love him, but he’s only human and most humans living off of heavily subsidized rent in a cushy home aren’t usually going to be inspired to increase income (if that’s what they want). I’m not saying he needs to earn more, I think he’s great. I’m just saying I don’t want to demotivate any ambitions by paying his way. #personalfinance #investments
Probably 50/50 until marriage. When married you should work together to optimize benefits/tax advantaged accounts with both employers and share finances for all expenses.
This ^ Will also reveal if he is worth marrying, one shot 2 birds :P
Should be 60/40. Definitely not gross or total comp. Don’t think including your RSU’s is fair at this stage of relationship
Really should depend on how nice of a house each of you want and would rent if it were not for the other. Ex: I wanna rent a really nice house for 5k SO wants to rent a mansion for 10k. Maybe living in a mansion is worth 1k more for me. So I’ll pay 6/2=3k and they pay 7k. Or living in just a 5k house is worth for them saving 4k. So they pay 6/2=3k and I pay 2k. But in this kind of discussion there’s gotta be goodwill and trust.
I don't think there's anything you can do to motivate him to earn more. If it's something he wants it's something he will do. There's no financial instrument to make this rent sharing situation "fair". If it's both money you are comfortable spending what difference does it make? Will you apply this same split to dates, food, etc? If you think this is someone you will marry, and you trust that they will do the right things for both of your futures ignore the split and find a way to maximize your money together
50/50 might be unfair. Switch the roles - you’re on 100k and he’s on your TC, will you be okay with 50/50?
50/50 is what you would do with a roommate regardless of tc tho right?
Incorrect, roommate is different. If you want to live with anybody then you look for someone who can do 50/50 for your chosen place. If you want to live with a particular person, then you either live in a place where they can afford 50% or if you want to live in a better place they can't afford you have to take on more of the paying. It's logical to pay by the impact of the rent on you in a relationship e.g. your share of your gross income. You can also use your net income if that really matters and produces drastically different results
Have you talked to him about this? All these other replies are worthless without that info.
Also, is he in tech? Finding a job making more is such an easy thing to say, but sometimes really difficult to do. And it’s even more difficult outside tech.
If you don’t already live together, split the savings difference. In other words, if your rent is $3000 and his is $2000, and your new rent is $3500, that’s a net savings of $1500. So you would pay $2250 (vs 3000) living alone, and he would pay $1250 (vs 2000 living alone). I’ve used this arrangement in the past multiple times and it works well. In my case, I don’t have a problem with paying more since I own the home and she isn’t getting equity. On the downside, I’ve had girlfriends treat me like a landlord and not take care of anything.
This is a smart way. Another is to set some base, and add on the ratio. So rent is $3500, you set a base of $1000 for each person, then split the remaining $1500 by TC ratio or something. Prevents one party from paying too much more than the other
Dump him and get a higher TC bf. Low TC will lead to insecurities and other crap down the lane.
Go 50/50. May motivate him to earn more.