Feel depressed with my status
Edit: Made it a poll Unable to share this with anyone in real life as it always becomes a "privileged" thing. I was born in India in poor household (single parent for most part) and worked hard to get scholarships to study. Had 2 meals growing up. A family friend paid my first year college fees as we couldn't afford it and bank wouldn't give me a loan. After 4 years of working in India, I did my masters in the US (with bank loan this time), then moved jobs every 4-5 years. Now at Google and things look good on paper but I feel down, depressed and out. I am neither settled here (immigration reasons) nor can I go back to India (not many family left). My visa can be cancelled any time. On any renewal. Unable to think about retirement or ageism in tech (which is real!!) because I'm bound by Visa. My mamager asks me about long term career plans and I chuckle to myself that I don't know if my next visa renewal will he OK. EB2 date is 2013. GC is at least 10 years away if not more. I feel depressed and unable to think long term (beyond 3-8 months). It's gotten worse after marriage (no kids yet). Yoe: 14 Age: 39 TC: 480k Many days, I wonder why I worked so hard. People call me privileged and tell me I should be happy with TC even though I have little rights in this country. I have lived and worked here for 10+ years. I don't feel privileged - I was born in poverty. I donate to ACLU and stand for rights of all immigrants but no one seems to care for us. Neither here nor there and no one to talk to. Thanks for listening Blind.
I hear you. Happy to talk to you. Dm
Thanks. Will DM you.
Life is all about "Pursuit of Happiness".. no one can truly get there. Those who realize this early in life are privileged. Today it may be GC.. tomorrow it will be having kids.. day after it will be citizenship and so on
take a whole month off, go party, learn new tricks, get a hobby, get a life, netflix and chill, step out of your comfort zone coding doesn’t have to be your primary satisfaction, stir the shit up!
If no kids - consider moving to Google India. See if that improves your state and makes life better. No amount of money is worth if all you feel is down and depressed.
Keep your head up, things will get better!
What you are feeling is loneliness. Even if you get green card it's not going to solve the issue. Try reaching out to your family and rekindle those lost bonds, don't let the ego of working in big tech come in way between family. I am pretty sure once you have those relations re-established you will appreciate. India is a vibrant nation, there is never a country as great as India.
This stop feeling sorry and enjoy fruits of life.
Do you have more than $1m? If yes, go to another country or back home. Google has offices everywhere. Once there, you have the freedom to do anything. Buy luxury condos, buy nice cars, take vacations. Do whatever you want. Remove yourself from the job mentality. Consider leaving the US seriously. You'll die before you actually taste freedom. Most people earning 30L a year in India are enjoying a lavish life with freedom better than you.
Thanks Datadog. I have saved up about $1.5M over the years (after paying off debt and some family needs). This is in retirement + vanguard. Starting to seriously consider going to another country now. Feel bad after 14 years here that I don't belong. Singapore or London or Canada seem to be good options from what I hear. Maybe India too. Do you have any experience with this? Can I DM?
Feel free to DM. Happy to discuss as I'm on the same boat as you. But something ticked me off a couple of years ago and I said fuck it, I'll live my life to the fullest and it has paid dividends so far.
Happiness is a insider job. You can have everything in life and still not happy or you can have little and still be happy. Try to volunteer in community, it will give you some happiness.
Midlife crisis!!! Been there, probably survived Don’t struggle alone. Reach out, trust, give back And you took the first step today!
You need a eff it mentality and be ready to move countries. Google will probably support a move to Canada? So say you get screwed on visa renewal, eff it and move. Plan for the worst but hope for the best. If it happens it happens. But if you change you're mentality you can live everyday without thinking of it.