He keeps getting emails from chase about buying a home. He's 53 right now and has only worked low income, physically tough jobs. He's a bit illiterate (can partially read) and told me to read the email. He said how long would the mortgage take to pay off and I told him "30 years". Saw him laugh it off, but could really see the regret and hurt in his face. I know he would love to own a home one day but he hardly has any retirement so it'll always remain a dream. He did just finish paying off his car which he's super happy about but he hasn't a home which he's always wanted. He works really hard at his janitor job, but we only live in government subsidized housing (am a college student). He doesn't open up much, but he does occasionally mention how he wished he had went to school when he migrated to America instead of working immediately. He sometimes feels regret in how his life has went, but I think he was a great father.
When/if you can see if you can help him buy that house for himself?
I'll try my best. Still have 1.5 years left of school (so, just intern pay). I'll do all that I can when I start full-time work.
It’s in you to make it worth it. Focus solely on becoming wealthy give him his own home before he dies. Plant it in your mind you have ten years to get RICH. I’m on the same path.
OP you gotta grind it out for your parents
Your father must know that he is raising a young man who is empathetic, grateful, considerate and kind. He may not have a home yet, but clearly he's planting so much love around and the reward will be immense. Work hard for him, but don't forget yourself on the way. Find a mentor from here, or somewhere, who can help guide you. All the best 💚
OP he lives his dreams through you. Make sure you fulfill his desires by achieving those dreams. Most importantly, make him feel that his efforts were not in vain. Assure him that he did great. My father worked hard just like yours (not in America but back home), and sent me to a good school. I was a hard working kid myself and carved my path to big tech somehow. I help him financially now and I def hope he feels that his efforts amounted to my success. Without him, I wouldn’t get anywhere.
You're such an amazing son. May the universe continue rewarding you.🙏🏽
Thanks, I am just doing my part. Wouldn’t call myself a perfect kid but I think I did ok and tried my best to never become a burden. Family is still back home and fortunately the money I send them goes much further there due to the exchange rate.
Hey OP. Thanks for a thread with some humanity in it. I wish your dad gets all he needs in life
I always feel bad about the fact that how easy my life is and how hard it is for minimum wage workers or even for non tech workers. I remember last time I went to a furniture store with my wife, and I was shocked to see prices. Couldn’t find a decent sofa seat for 100 bucks. Of course, I might be out of touch, you might say, but on my way out of the store, I heard the salesman asking me if I he could do anything to help me find something. I could sense the pressure he was under to achieve a “target”, and how desperately he wanted me to buy something. I’m not sure if this is the society I’d wanna live in or would want my children to grow up in. A healthy society is the real wealth. Unfortunately, I see no hope for this to be fixed. What a monumental waste, sigh. End of rant.
So when it's early in the morning and I encounter some of the people that live in my building and I say good morning and get no response back, it used to make me feel bad, but I've learned not to take it to heart. Waking up everyday for a job that doesn't pay much and that you hate is incredibly rough -- especially when there's no growth in your job. Wrt to the salesman, life is like that unfortunately. Your empathy in him shows the human in you. Your heart seems pure.
And for this reason, I question whether to have kids lol. Brutal world it is 🥲
Homeownership can still happen. The average lifespan is what 70+ for US males? I saved my ass off, like worked 2 jobs since college, to afford a down payment for my parents. My brother pays the mortgage. It’s possible if you pool your resources, if that’s something you’re open to doing. House aside, all my immigrant parents cared about since day 1 is that their children live a fulfilled life, one much better than theirs. It sounds like your dad may be of that mindset, so don’t lose sight of … you.
Yeah, definitely open to that, and what I intend on doing. But yeah I get that he wants to look out for me which I very much appreciate, but I'm also becoming my own man now and very much want to do the same for him.
Where did your father immigrate from? He might be still in the top 1% of the peer group where he started.
Great point. Came from a very tiny, very poor country. He may be in the top 15% from where he immigrated from, but it sorta translates to like bottom 20% here in the U.S. I just want more for him, for me, and the family.
It's important where he started. Someone can start with $10m inheritance and be down to $1m. That person would have done worse than your father.
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I wish he owns home one day! Hope you also able to help that happen
As @Block mentioned - I hope you both own a house very soon. I like your attitude and hats off for being a great son. I didnt speak to my dad as he didnt get me a bike during my school days and lost him while I was still not in talking terms with him ( bcoz of my foolishness and teenage childishness ) I loved him dearly but just wanted to show my anger by not talking to him and making him feel he wasn't good enough for me. I really wish he would forgive me - all I want is a hug and kiss from him in my dreams )