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As a kid growing up India (have been in the US for over 10 years now) - Whenever I faced predatory behavior or attack on me in the outside world, be it in school or college or sports club or out on the road, when I returned home to my "safe zone" - I psychologically automatically relaxed and shared the incident with grandparents or parents and got guidance. Even for something I did not share, I got the secure safe zone feeling. Once the mind realized its safe, it went back to normal mode. Then I felt what is important and what is not. Then I could easily make a strategy to deal with the predatory incident,person, system ... But in the US, having to share home, and during school, share room etc- There is not much safe zone. Also, the churn is so high from daily standups, sometimes 2 status updates per day and manager emailing at 10pm,...: I'm never able to get the safe zone feeling and never able to make rational strategic long term decisions. But whenever I visit India for a few week on vacation, my entire thought process takes a 180 degree turn. Suddenly I know that, in spite of all infrastructure problems in india I get scared of when I initially land, I adjust to it quickly within weeks. And I am much better off facing the outdid world predatory behavior (from manager, team mater, corporate etc). But when I return to the US, all this vanishes within weeks again. What's going on? I'm more sensitive, psychologically. I sense even the slightest change of mood around me. Doesn't mean I'm weak. I'm sensitive.
It will go away once you get your GC
I think that’s normal. Most of people are not as sensitive as you or can’t articulate like you but they still have inner feeling. That leads to subtle stress and anxiety for immigrants. You probably need to spend another 10 years to feel more comfortable here. Your brain needs to forget all the guards you built in home country and shifts to think US is the home. Having kids can accelerate because the kids are growing American and you start relating more to Americans
sorry but can confirm that being non-white will always make you feel like an outsider. only chance is to be fully devoid of any of your original culture and drink the koolaid of america’s vapid consumeristic “culture” and worship white people.
I don’t know. I am Asian. Indians look more similar to typical people here physically. See Vivek and Nikki.
I think your heart yearns to be around your family. It puts your mind at ease. That is your “happy place”. Decide what is of priority to you—happiness or TC?
I think you should live where you feel safest hs putting yourself in continuous unsafe feeling
Not sensitive, just used to a certain place. I feel perfectly safe walking around downtown Seattle. 🤷♀️
Make home in the US, your own safe zone
You need to build your own safe haven in the US. Rent a tiny studio instead of living with roommates, join temple if you are religious, maybe, find a therapist over zoom from India.
I feel the same more or less.. I found out I have a highly sensitive temperament (it is a good thing). I have been going to therapy. That's helping.