Going through miscarriage

Dec 5, 2019 425 Comments

We lost our hope and this was our first pregnancy. Wife is completely broken and trying to recover through miscarriage emotionally and physically. I am trying my best to support her and considering we are immigrants and no family here, it is being difficult to recover and get through it.

Trying to cop up, I don’t why but even typing this post on this anonymous platform is giving me some relief.

TC: 230k

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TOP 425 Comments
  • Google yvEB30
    I'm sorry. Dealing with the possibility of my child passing away. It's super hard and shows how fragile we are.
    Dec 5, 2019 13
    • Indeed / Eng rgrrf
      Very sorry to hear. Stay strong, hope everything turns out well
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Google
      🦟🕷🐀🐍🦅O

      Google

      PRE
      Microsoft
      🦟🕷🐀🐍🦅Omore
      Hope things work out OK, one of the hardest things a parent has to deal with. Lookup listener network with blue dot. No need to feel all alone when you are part of one of the most caring cultures.
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Automattic gh0sted
    There are some saying things like "be strong in front of your wife" and i get the intention, but honestly your wife may want to know that you're sad, too. I'm not saying fall to pieces, but show your vulnerability and share the grief process. It will bring you closer. From a woman"s perspective
    Dec 6, 2019 7
    • Flexport squirr3l
      +1
      Dec 8, 2019
    • Rackspace IjmU16
      +1 - It was devastating for both of us. No way would I not express that directly to her. It’s a partnership, a wife is not a wilting flower. Even in her grief my wife was amazingly strong.
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Compass HWV39
    Tough shot to go through. Support your partner. Super common unfortunately
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Rakuten ozMos15
    The world is overpopulated anyway. Think of this as a sign to adopt a child and save them from the foster system.

    I know, heartless reply, but is not saving a child already alive heartless too?
    Dec 8, 2019 10
    • Yahoo / Eng yxcV35
      A acquaintance I know of purposely lied when he was a kid and fed cakes with eggs to folks who did not want to eat eggs because he got a kick out of it. Bad karma!

      Came back to bite his family years later in a way he could do nothing about and could not escape.

      @ozMos15 - I agree with all the comments above and support adoption as well however if you cannot console the OP it’s just better to not contribute instead of creating bad karma for yourself! You can’t escape it! Neither can the people that mean something to you, because of you.

      But then again, in some cases the world is an overpopulated place so some like you need to go anyways.
      Dec 10, 2019
    • Afterpay / Eng OzFSE
      Troll
      Dec 11, 2019
  • Sorry to hear about it!! Please don't loose hope. I can understand it's hard but thinking too much won't help. Try talking to doctors, can plan again, just keep faith in GOD. Hope you both recover from this soon. We're here to support you bro!
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Cloudera alt60
    Hey man,
    Things will change. Be there for each other and brighter and happier things are on store for you guys.
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Deutsche Bank CLRS
    Two years back, I lost my baby boy at 42 weeks. It never gets easier... you do get stronger though. One thought that helped me was that he really wanted us as parents but for some unforeseen reasons is not able to make it this time. He will be back when he is ready... and we will be waiting for him.

    Lots of love and Hugs to you both!
    Dec 6, 2019 5
    • Deutsche Bank CLRS
      @HJ Potter - I am so sorry about your little girl... if anybody can imagine my pain, it’s you. There was nothing wrong with my boy and an ultrasound 2 days prior showed him perfectly healthy. I had text book pregnancy and no complications at all.

      I now have a 5 month old girl and she is beautiful, wonderful and we are totally smitten by her... yet I remember the day we were back from the hospital, I was holding her in my arms and couldn’t stop crying... until then I had lost my boy but at that moment I realized I also lost all these priceless moments with him...

      Yes your little angel will be back soon... and I would like to think that perhaps your little girl and my
      Little boy are out there somewhere playing hide and seek. It’s just a matter of time.

      Lots of love
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Zillow Group H J Potter
      @CLRS: this is what hurts the most - nothing at all being wrong for the full term and then your life comes crashing down only because life is cruel. Our girl was healthy just like your boy and my wife was extremely disciplined with her diet and meds since she is in the medical field. We fear the next pregnancy (hopefully there is one) will not be the same and we will constantly be worried and looking over our shoulders.

      What you said about lost moments is my biggest fear. My girl was going to be the apple of my eye and I feel, even if we have a kid, (s)he will never measure up to her. I don't know if you had this feeling or how you did this again.

      I m so happy our kids are keeping each other company. Can't wait for the next few years to fly by so that I can see her again on the other side!

      Hugs to you all!
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Samsung statarb
    I’m sorry for your loss. How many months did she carry for?
    Dec 5, 2019 9
    • Sony / Eng eHJB72
      Per your comment: “Life advice, don’t try to gauge someone else’s pain. Best to shut up...” Pretty haughty thing to say. People are naturally empathetic and try to do that without meaning harm, you just sound like a condescending piece of dingleberry.
      Dec 13, 2019
    • Credit Karma MeatClub
      The irony is lost on you.
      Dec 13, 2019
  • Zillow Group H J Potter
    I am so sorry to hear about this. We lost our first at 36 weeks, a few weeks ago. Since my wife was so far along, she had to deliver her. We spent a whole day with her, cared for her, lived our life with her in 24 hrs, then cremated her. We are both distraught, hurt, and feel hopeless beyond anything we had ever imagined. Please know that the pain gets lesser each month and with time you won't find yourself spending every waking moment crying. But the grief never goes away. You learn to live with it.

    Your pain and suffering is unique. It's not the same as anybody else's, not mine, or anybody else's on this thread. It's no less or more than anybody else's, it's just yours. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to move on! You don't have to, at least not now or till you are ready to. Take your time.

    If you are having a tough time, your wife has it a lot worse. The baby was inside her, she felt it a lot more. All this said, I handled the loss of our girl a lot worse than my wife did and in an unhealthy way, so I know how you feel.

    Immigrants or not (we are), it's really important for you guys to take some time off work to be with each other, support each other, talk about the loss and difficulties you both are having, be honest about your feelings, and seek grief counseling. I cannot stress that enough! I ignored it for too long and it came hitting back at me in the 3rd month after my baby girl's demise.

    I highly highly advise that your wife goes home and spends as much time as she needs with her parents. You and your parents maybe lovely people but your wife definitely needs her own parents. There is just no substitute. She can be herself at her own home, throw tantrums or do what she wants to do. Be there for her, no matter how tough it gets. This is what we are doing. We are in different countries now since my wife is home recovering and recuperating but we talk twice a day each day, at the very least. We cry together and share our despair. It makes your relationship stronger.

    Again, I m really sorry for your loss. Please pass our condolences to your wife too! Hang in there. DM me if you want to talk more.
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Flagged by the community.

    • Amazon dir@aws
      Jesus fucking Christ what is wrong with you?
      Dec 8, 2019

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