Not really sure where to begin. I’m 33 years old, married with a beautiful child. Have a decent career and god has blessed me in many ways. My wife has an extremely volatile personality and I’m very afraid she’ll separate my kid from me along with her parents. She lacks reasoning in almost all her ways and even my 5yr old sides with her. This is fine and every time I cover up any friction/argument saying it’s my fault just to keep the peace. This has been going on for a few years now and I feel like I’m losing my identity in general. I’m unable to reach out to parents for help due to deep embarrassment and unsure how they’d help me. Not really trust worthy friends to go seek advice from. If my kid grows up to not respect or value me, I have no reason to live. I’m not posting this to gain sympathy or for someone to say my wife is wrong. Just want to know what I should be doing and who to reach out to? I feel extremely alone and really heavy shoulders and my only hope in life is my child. TC - 225k
Therapy
Sounds like you need a therapist for yourself to talk through your concerns, maybe learn some better communication skills so you’re not forced to roll over to keep the peace all the time. And then talk to a lawyer about your options to ensure she doesn’t pull a parental kidnapping on you if you start to enforce some healthy boundaries and she loses it.
Thanks for the great advice 🙏🏼
I’m beginning to ponder on this a bit. I have tried being patient, polite, giving benefit of doubts, a million second chances, and somehow seems I’m at the raw end and she’s happier than I am after almost all episodes. Maybe something is wrong with me? I will find a therapist. Thank you. In your experience, have people come out better from going through therapy?
Look up Reddit
Thank you 🙏🏼 what exactly would I be looking up
No don't do it stop before it's too late
If what you say about your wife is true, assuming she is in her 30s too, I don't think she will change now without external intervention. There is a saying, "if a plant doesn't bend, tree will definitely not bend."
Confront people involved or talk to a therapist.
1. If your relationship has reached a point where it has become toxic, and you are dragging it. Talk to a counsellor. And also potentially talk to a lawyer, wouldn’t hurt to know your options. 2. Talk to a lawyer to understand your rights as a parent, ie what you and she can do and more importantly what you and she can’t do. This will be really helpful if and when custody becomes a problem.
Indian?
Is divorce not an option? Seems like the way to go.
And still talk to your parents anyway about it. Their support can make things much more bearable and you will know you have people who love you no matter what you decide to do. My 2 cents. Talk to them!
I think OP doesn’t want to bother parents and is silently suffering . I am in a similar situation and can empathise with him
@Abs21 - Indian?
Can you give an example of unreasonable behavior
Not letting my child talk to my parents. P.S. I’m supporting her parents for 12 months financially and in many other ways.
Lol, that's not unreasonable. That's crazy